SUICIDE LIST (countdown to newyears)

"It doesn't have to end this way" my chest felt like it was about to explode from all the running but I couldn't stop now
"Don't you understand she's dead I have nothing left to live for anymore" she looked so broken, doesn't she how much her words hurt me, can't she see how much she means to me, my heart hurt with all the things I wanted to say but I couldn't find the right words to say them, it didn't matter I just had to find a way to get her to rethink this
"A suicide list" I blurted out before thinking but it seemed to have worked cause Noah stopped in her tracks
"what do you mean"
Yeah what did I mean by a suicide list, I searched my mind for an answer, I had to think fast or Noah would...she... would die, I cant let that happen
"A suicide list, you know... it would be a waste if you died without experiencing life... so what don't you make a list... like a bucket list of all the things you've always wanted to do and when you're done with it..."
"Kill myself" her voice sounded so small but it held a twinge or hope and i'd be damned if I wasn't going to take it, it doesn't matter I can convince her...no I will convince her to keep living"
"Yeah" I held out my hand she seemed to reconsider for a minute, my breath hitched in my throat, but she reached out and grabbed my hand, I felt relief flood through my veins as I pulled Noah and gave her a tight squeeze. She was here, she was with me. For now