Who You Aren't
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How long can someone hold out for hope? How long do the clutches of bitterness bite at someone until they are completely consumed?
How often does someone like that get help? How often do they experience the overwhelming love, power, and newness of Christ?
How long will she wonder if everyone's going to leave, and distrust them?
How long will her differences and talent single her out and make her feel alienated and a spectical?
Not until she sits at that kitchen table and hears the woman say, "Marielli! Your talents, your uniqueness, your God given difference, and your past, they don't define you. They're... Who You Aren't."
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He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.
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