How to Murder Your Husband - Loonylivvy01 - Wattpad

How to Murder Your Husband

Reads 182
Votes 29
Parts 13
Time 1h 23m

Reads 182
Votes 29
Parts 13
Time 1h 23m

comedy family foundfamily funny historical historicalfiction victorian

You may think I'm cruel, to kill a man so- let alone three. 

You may think me sociopathic, evil- incapable of love. 

But sadly, I am not- and perhaps that was my demise. 

I write this book in hopes someone, somewhere, may succeed where I did not- coming upon an enormous fortune, and being blessed with the ability to not have to share such a thing with anybody else. 

Having unlimited power, stability, happiness- all the things killing one's husband should bring upon someone.

Nonetheless, if my dear readers cannot use this book to murder one's own husband- one hopes it can bring entertainment on a rainy day, for surely the skedaddles and hijinks will be enough to capture the modern mind. 

For example, I've had to deal with Men- a feat in itself- as well as the dealing of an unexpected Other Heir, Stepdaughter, and my past coming back to haunt me... 

Intriguing, no? 

***Historical Fiction set in England, 1890s, in which a Victorian Woman is set upon murdering her most recent, useless, but very rich, husband, in exchange for a plethora of wealth. Unfortunately, fate is not on her side- there's an annoyingly handsome Lord in her way, and his niece, a young brat in desperate need of a mother. 

But nothing can get in the way of her plans, of course. 

Especially not her own heart.All Rights Reserved

comedy family foundfamily funny historical historicalfiction victorian

Table of contents

13 parts

Sign up to add How to Murder Your Husband to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

The Butterfly Bracelet [Yandere Prince x Female Reader] by J_C_Coltt

"A single night can change the course of your entire life." . . . [Yandere Prince x Female Reader] Once upon a time, in the tiny kingdom of Vascini, there lived a beautiful girl by the name of Y/N Magnifico. Y/N was born into one of the five most influential families in the whole country, but as the years passed the cruelty of her father only grew. Eventually, Y/N was forced to become a maid in her own home, and serve her new stepmother, and stepsisters. Y/N had given up hope for ever escaping her wicked family, until one day, a kind and handsome stranger rescued her and brought her to the Castle Vascini. Once there she discovered that her rescuer was actually the Royal Tutor, who had been ordered to find the prince a bride in the next three months. Indebted to the man for saving her from her terrible situation, Y/N had no choice but to agree to the tutor's crazy plan to turn her into the perfect bride for the prince. But what if this plan ended up working a bit too well? Despair and hopelessness lay behind her, while trickery, danger, and obsession wait in masquerade for Y/N. Will she be able to survive this re-telling of an old fairytale and life long enough to find true love, or will something much more twisted take its place? ⚠WARNING⚠ there will be a few mature themes in the book including (but not limited to): -domestic violence and abuse -trickery -sexual references -violence -mental illness -politics -murder -manipulation -obsession -gore Reader discretion is advised. ~J. C. Coltt.~

Diana's Foresters by kullman

Sequel to "Seat of Mars" ... The throne of England is safe...for now. Old enemies are ready to surface and throw Richard's court into chaos once more. Everyone has a grudge, and everyone has a secret. Harry and Isabela want to take decisive action against Bolingbroke. Meanwhile, Richard is intent on protecting the children, and hiding his relationship from them. Harry finally enters into romantic entanglements, but is desperate to hide his liaisons from Richard who he grudgingly sees as a father figure. Somerset is back with a new and deadly plan. Don't miss this new bloody dark comedy. Trigger/Content Warnings: Graphic violence on page. Death of a main character. Some sex/sexuality and crude humor. Adoption issues discussed at length. Coming out is discussed at length. Some homophobia. A major character struggles with an eating disorder. Alcohol consumption. Some disturbing imagery including the death of a child. Dark humor relating to the death of a parent. Be aware of your mental state and seek help as needed.

Sincerely Yours by tehyayoung

In 1800s England, a well-meaning but selfish young woman will do anything to avoid matrimony to the county's finest suitors and to justly prove she doesn't need a husband to find her way in society. Even under the peril of her uncle losing his property and business to debt. In all but two months, she must prove to her family she's more than capable without a husband and can, in fact, exceed society's expectations of the female sex. But what woman can write what she hardly knows of the world, and its secrets? And most of all, how far is she willing to prove herself toward society and the Lord? At what cost for love? Maxmillian Knightley has returned from university in London, now facing the looming title of marquis. With that title comes responsibility to interact with those he despises most, and with which he must fight for his inheritance. But how far will he go in order to grow favor in the scrutiny of society and his stiff-neck father? He may be everything a woman of the ton looks for in a husband - titled, wealthy, and cheek bones that can draw in any woman - but he is in no mood to humor eligible women by participating in all things reformed. The question is: how far will he go to do everything against his own sensibility and judgment? For inheritance ... or for loyalty and love? The only common enlightenment between two entirely different sexes? A fondness for penmanship and our humorous Lord who writes the very novelty of life itself. And what happens if proving oneself leads to something quite worse? When it comes to love, making the right choices, these two are their own worst enemies. Copyright 2021 by Tehya Young Original Cover Art by Emily's World Book Design

Rich People Problems by treeziaa

As much as Kimberly Astor hated to admit it, she had a slight problem. Okay, so it was theoretically a major problem, but it wasn't entirely her fault. Okay, so it was her fault, (at least to a certain extent, according to her) but her dad didn't need to be all rude about it. He especially did not need to threaten her future role as CEO on it too. And, setting up an arranged marriage to fix said 'problem' is so out of proportion. Okay, it wasn't completely out of proportion, but still. Jace Kingston didn't know what he was getting into when he agreed to be married to a 'problematic heiress'. He certainly was not expecting a sexy vixen, who was hellbent on getting on his nerves and destroying the semblance of normalcy he established in his complex life. So, when the two come together to form a business alliance, they make a simple plan. 1. Fix the problem. 2. Don't ever bring up personal things. 3. Get out. Too bad breaking the second rule is making the third rule look a lot more... difficult. (not edited... i swear i'm trying) ________ trigger warnings: • sexual/mature content (18+) • explicit language • alcohol and drug abuse • a character who can't make the right decisions lmao ________ highest rankings: #6 in romance #1 in mature #1 in ceo #1 in boss #3 in billionaire #2 in steamy #1 in slowburn #1 in couple #3 in humor #3 in enemiestolovers

My Perfect Life by marina_if

R-rated, for mature audiences! So, where do I start? My name is Elizabeth. I'm 26 and I'm bored as f*ck. You could think I have a perfect life. My husband is a successful businessman and he makes sure I have everything I ever wanted. But, have you ever had a feeling that's not enough? I wake up every morning feeling my life has no purpose. One day I chose to change everything and I met him...But is he who I want? Is me enough for him? In a world where big boys playing their games I appeared in the middle, searching for happiness. They want to play me? Bring it on! Not so good in description, but you should definitely give this story a try. It's gonna be a funny ride. For mature audience only! Strong language and sex scenes. A lot of graphic material. I don't own any pictures or videos I use in my story

As Cold as Ice (Dangerous Stranger's Book 1) Complete by shru_du

you can see it on Amazon Kindle... In the heart of Victorian London lives a girl names Katherine Davis. She is the real life Cinderella yet she was different then her in many ways. She is head strong, stubborn and defies every rule made for the girls by the society. She made one rule for herself that she will never be tied to anyone in marriage. But her fate made her meet the kind of men she despise while she was hunting in the forest Christen Ace Rodriguez and he wanted her because she is the best in what she does. Fate brought them together once again when her father went missing while being on a trip of Egypt. She was attacked by bandits and she missed her escape route. She took shelter on another ship only to be found by none other than Christen Ace Rodriguez. Swords clashed, sparks followed. Will christen be able to win her over? Will Katherine escape her fate and find her father before she fall for him? His words came back to my mind "You should be very ,very afraid." I am now. This Book is published as a e-Book on Amazon https://www.amazon.in/dp/B0769JN1ML/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1507598730&sr=1-4&keywords=As+Cold+As+Ice Link is above for the complete e-book which is kindle unlimited enabled

Just Revenge (#1) by lovebirds15

I looked at his eyes and put up a strong face. His eyes bore into mine as much as mine into his. It was like he could read my mind and reach out to my soul just by looking into my eyes. I tried to read his thoughts, too, but it felt like he had blocked me out this time. Nothing seemed clear to me anymore. Tears were burning behind my eyes and threatening to pour out. I forced myself to hold them back and asked him, "Just revenge?" Without a ting of emotion on his face, he said, "Just Revenge." ********************************************* Amelia Lawson had a perfect life. In the eyes of the world, Amelia, or Amy as most would call her, had everything you ever wanted. A successful career, rich background, a loving brother, and a handsome boyfriend turned husband. But, it all crashes down when on the wedding night the love of her life, Aaron Kingston, laughs on her face revealing to her that the whole thing right from dating to marriage was just a big sham and for a fact he actually hates her to no bounds. Now, blackmailed by her husband, Amelia has no choice but to pretend in front of his family and the world that they are a happy couple until he gets what he wants, even if it is her life that is at stake. With Amy's heart already in her husband's hands, her husband hell bent on making her life a living hell and her not knowing what has she possibly done in the twenty five years of her existence to make him hate her so much, what is much left for her to do but comply? But no, "Take no shit from anyone." is a rule made for Amy. Aaron Kingston may have been the love of her life, but he is no exception to this rule. ******************************************** Warning: Mentions of sensitive stuff. Please refrain if you feel you can't handle it. It includes morally gray characters. Note: This is a standalone book but a part of a series. Can be read in any order. #1 in heartbreak on 05/28/2022 #1 in planned on 06/03/2022 #2 in betrayal on 06/04/2022

The Spying Cat (ONC 2023 Shortlister) by alcoholandcaffeine

It's 1893, and eighteen-year-old Catriona "Kitty" Thackery is bored out of her mind at the countryside parsonage she was raised in. All eleven of her cousins have grown up and moved out, leaving her without an outlet for her youngest-child mischief. Until cousin Joey returns from America alongside his dashing benefactor, Mr Benedict Hawkins. Educated at Eton, then at Harvard, the half-American Mr Hawkins is a worldly businessman and an only child, fascinated with the affectionate workings of the Thackery clan. He is warmly welcomed in their midst, and his exciting influence persuades the Thackery matriarch to break tradition and allow Kitty her London debut. In London, Detective Inspector Tobias Thackery has made a spy network out of his family in an attempt to locate his runaway sister, who may or may not be involved with anarchists. Kitty ingratiates herself into this scheme, her sense of adventure stifled by polite society. The risks are real, and more personal than she expects, but on her quest to self-fulfilment, she begins to enjoy the dangers. * ONC2023 shortlister! Prompt 51: The problem with red flags is that I'm attracted to them. * Completed, ~40k words.

BACK TO THE PAST: The rise of the false heiress Maryying the true tycoon by Kimyun_lee36

Guzi transmigrated into a novel and became a character in a story about a true and false rich heiress. While others who transmigrated into novels become the true heiress, she became the fake heiress. To make matters worse, both she and the true heiress are engaged. She was engaged to the son of a military leader, while the true heiress was engaged to a divorced man with three children from his previous marriage. Guzi's parents, caring for the true heiress, decide to have Guzi marry in her place. In the book, the character "Guzi" was furious and attempted suicide but failed. As a result, she lost the love and favor of her parents. After marrying the divorced man, "Guzi" blamed him for all the wrongdoings and mistreated his children. Eventually, he could no longer tolerate her actions and divorced her. "Guzi" would become a destitute beggar and die miserably on the street. After transmigrating into the book, Guzi left her family and married the divorced man. When she faced the man and his three children, Guzi believed that the original owner of her body made a terrible mistake. This was a painless experience of being a mother without any hardships to endure! On the other hand, the true heiress had to deal with her husband's illegitimate child and fight for family assets. She would lead a daily life full of hardships. The true heiress consoled herself, thinking that she was still better off than Guzi. She had to raise someone else's child and care for an old man. However, one day she sees Guzi stepping out of a luxurious car with a protruding belly, supported by the richest man in the city. Looking aggrieved, Guzi got out of the car and said, "We agreed not to have children!" The man beside her responded tenderly, "Sorry, my mistake."

Inconveniences by TheresAPlace4Us

Book 1 1859, London. Victoria is the Queen, England is finishing the Second Opium War with China, and Amelia Hemmings is 19 and still not married. She's shy, introverted, but also short tempered and sassy. She doesn't consider herself "wife material." In an attempt to marry her off, Amy's cousin, Celine, and Uncle, John, force her to every dance imaginable. However, on one brutal night after a ball, Amy is thrown into a dark and most inconvenient world of arrogant millionaires, handsome men who run drug cartels, business, family secrets, and a violent rivalry. All of this is thanks to a Mr Damien Lancaster. Self made millionare. Arrogant. Cold. Detached. Rude. Handsome. Lethal. Amy has to learn about all of her instincts to survive, but something comes up that makes her question herself. Should she be focused on saving her own life, or Mr Lancaster's? Highest rankings: #3 in Victorian #5 in 19thcentuary #2 in regencyengland (Dec. 9, 2020) #1 in 19th (Jun. 27, 2020) #581 in business (Dec. 30, 2019) *** Warning: some violence, abuse, strong language, and mentions of rape --if there are any errors or confusing sentences, I would appreciate it if you commented on it. I try to keep things grammatically correct but some things slip through the cracks. I will update the passage as soon as I know about it--

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

The Butterfly Bracelet [Yandere Prince x Female Reader] cover

Diana's Foresters cover

Sincerely Yours cover

Rich People Problems cover

My Perfect Life cover

As Cold as Ice (Dangerous Stranger's Book 1) Complete cover

Just Revenge (#1) cover

The Spying Cat (ONC 2023 Shortlister) cover

BACK TO THE PAST: The rise of the false heiress Maryying the true tycoon cover

Inconveniences cover

The Butterfly Bracelet [Yandere Prince x Female Reader]

"A single night can change the course of your entire life." . . . [Yandere Prince x Female Reader] Once upon a time, in the tiny kingdom of Vascini, there lived a beautiful girl by the name of Y/N Magnifico. Y/N was born into one of the five most influential families in the whole country, but as the years passed the cruelty of her father only grew. Eventually, Y/N was forced to become a maid in her own home, and serve her new stepmother, and stepsisters. Y/N had given up hope for ever escaping her wicked family, until one day, a kind and handsome stranger rescued her and brought her to the Castle Vascini. Once there she discovered that her rescuer was actually the Royal Tutor, who had been ordered to find the prince a bride in the next three months. Indebted to the man for saving her from her terrible situation, Y/N had no choice but to agree to the tutor's crazy plan to turn her into the perfect bride for the prince. But what if this plan ended up working a bit too well? Despair and hopelessness lay behind her, while trickery, danger, and obsession wait in masquerade for Y/N. Will she be able to survive this re-telling of an old fairytale and life long enough to find true love, or will something much more twisted take its place? ⚠WARNING⚠ there will be a few mature themes in the book including (but not limited to): -domestic violence and abuse -trickery -sexual references -violence -mental illness -politics -murder -manipulation -obsession -gore Reader discretion is advised. ~J. C. Coltt.~