IT'S PUNCTUATION, JIM. BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT. - Jim Williams - Wattpad

IT'S PUNCTUATION, JIM. BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT.

Reads 91
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Parts 25
Time 1h 9m

Reads 91
Votes 0
Parts 25
Time 1h 9m

absurd althistory anachronistic bathroom bizarre comedy country fantasy florida funny interrobang lampoon lies nonsense numbers parody politics redneck satire serial southern strange stupid talltales

The stories here are not presented chronologically. Myassa is not chronological, nor is it particularly geographical, just "north Florida". You can't touch it but you can taste it. It's nowhere but you can always get there from here. You never see it coming and you never have to leave. You won't be alone because Myassa is open all night, every night. You unlock this dimension through the myth of Myassa. Beyond it is another demention: a demention of stupid, a demention of sight gags, a demention of mind farts. You're moving into a land both shallow and sophomoric, of alt history and ironies. You've just crossed over into...
The Myassa Zone. "Where you're past is our future."(CC) Attrib. NonCommercial

absurd althistory anachronistic bathroom bizarre comedy country fantasy florida funny interrobang lampoon lies nonsense numbers parody politics redneck satire serial southern strange stupid talltales

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The Moving Times Of Caroline Proudly by CarolineProudly

Caroline is 16 when she suddenly decides that her perfectly normal and loving home life is absolutely and completely intolerable. Suddenly moving out of home in 1988 is the beginning of a 13 year journey. As the journey continues, the passage of time has no significance. Always with the ability to find the humorous side, each address marks another chapter in Caroline's life and is the backdrop for the people she meets and the events that occur. Accommodation varies from unheated rooms and houses with wheel-less cars jacked-up outside to Regency flats and rural cottages. Transportation means vary from a single use bicycle, to Betsa and the faithful Dwanetta. Flatmates vary from a lovely Brummie and a singing nun to a dying dog, a ginger laminator, a 3 nippled geek and an accidental spell with a local drugs baron. Events vary from harbouring boarding schoolgirls, exercising racehorses, the occasional rave, trading in shampoo and marmite on toast to looking for stolen laundry, going undercover and self-defence with a hockey stick. Jobs vary from not having one to shop work, bartending and au pair through to getting a toe on the corporate ladder. There is infatuation, and love from various sources so there is also disappointment, and breakups by varying means and for various reasons. Education varies from a bit of formal study to a large dollop of the University of Life. The latter being the real reason Caroline left home in the first place - to grow up in her own way through her own experiences with no-one else to blame but herself and the interesting hand that life deals along the way. Caroline moves home 19 times, only to find that the 20th move takes her to the last place she ever expected to be. Back where she started. Things aren't always as they seem...

My Brother's Gang by isabellaleon43

I crossed my arms and moved back a little, expecting Ryan to sit up properly now. "So? You gonna tell me?" "Yeah." A small chuckle escaped his lips. "You're not going to like it." Ryan was now sitting up, rubbing the red mark the table made on his forehead. "Well? Are you going to tell me or not?" I tapped my foot impatiently. "Yeah." Ryan said as he put his arm back down, gesturing towards the chair across from him. "Take a seat. It's a long story. Not really, but still." •.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.• Hazel and Quinn are as close as twins could get. Or were, at least. When Quinn's frequent disappearances become even more frequent, Hazel decides to go after her idiot of a brother and ends up getting herself into an even bigger mess than he was in. •.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.• Warning: THIS BOOK IS GAY. YOU DON'T LIKE GAY? DON'T READ. OR DO READ BECAUSE I COULD USE THE READS AS A SELF CONFIDENCE BOOSTER. Another warning: This book is completed and a bit short, but I think the whole thing should be roughly around 19-20,000 words long. It's a quick, easy read with a few typos or errors and maybe a plot hole here and there, but still pretty good and nice to read.

The American Idea by Consistent_Deer9857

This is a Hetalia/Countryhuman Fanfiction, Many concepts and characters are from Lolbit @KirishimaArk so if you like my work, then you will like their stories aswell. I have permission from her to use her OC Lectwist Island, so all credit for the character goes to them. I suck at summariying so just read the Story. This is a Satire. I do not own anything used in the story, things like Nuka Cola are Homages or for comedic Meta references.

Homesick by drippy_boiz

I know, another stupid story idea, but I think this one is an alright one. _______________________________________________ Being a fan of the Neptunia series after watching Lost Pause play the first two games I've read a lot of Hyperdimension Neptunia stories, because it's fun seeing how people can take characters like Neptune and put them in really entertaining scenarios that the games haven't yet. One thing I noticed about the more serious stories is that when it involves someone from Earth suddenly in Gamindustri, they move on from the fact they can't see their friends and family again. Some do but they usually move on quickly. Mainly because they don't have anything tying them to their old home. What if someone was in that same position, only he is completely shattered by the idea that he won't see his friends and family again? What if he couldn't just quickly move on from that and is too scared to get close to anyone now? Think about it, if you were currently ripped from this world and shoved into the next without your consent or knowledge you'd be destroyed by the fact that you're never going back home. _______________________________________________ Neptune, the protagonist of protagonists, finds a young, unconscious guy in a forest when she actually decided to work for once. She takes him to her home, telling her CPU friends about it they fly over to her to see if she was joking or not and finds it's legit. When he wakes up they find out he's not from this world, and he's not taking it very well.

From His Perspective by LisaKeb

You might think you know human history, but you've never viewed it From His Perspective.....you like a good laugh, right? In the beginning, there was darkness and The Boss liked the darkness. He'd spent years creating the darkness. He was proud of the darkness. Unfortunately, his assistant Norbert liked to snack while working and had a very sensitive nose. Had he not been in charge of monitoring the black holes this may not have been a problem but, as it was, a violent sneeze launched a single biscuit crumb into the darkness, and it was no more. A huge explosion rocked the Factory (better known to us as Planet Earth) and, for The Boss and Norbert, the real work began - they had to deal with life. Life, as they found out, had an awful habit of not staying true to their designs, however carefully they drew up the blueprints. Suddenly, there were fish who wanted to live on the land, a dinosaur who went around killing everything it met, and then, of course, there was man - the Boss' most distinguished and regrettable invention.

Night Rider by Hermione_Hofferson

Night Rider - A httyd and Hiccstrid book. -Astrid's pov- 8 years. That's how long it has been. 8 lonely, cold, devastating years of my life that I will never get back. Every night I dream the same dream - every night the same day returns to haunt me over and over. That day dramatically changed my life for the worst. Why did that day happen? Everyone learnt to leave me in peace in the morning. Everyone knew my deepest, darkest secret that changed people's opinions of me forever. Everyone knew my arch enemy, but only 2 people know why he is my arch enemy. My friends still talk to me, just not in the same way as they used to - it's almost as if they are scared of me, or don't want to be associated with me. One day I want this to change. One day I want my life to turn around. One day I will truely be me again. One day I will be happy. One day I will be free. I cannot see that day in the forseeable future, but I know it will come, and I know somehow it is connected to my enemy. *I know that it is an over-used story line but I tried to spice it up a little. Kinda like how you may always eat a Chicken Masala and then you try a Vindaloo - they're both food and both curries but one is different from the other* There are extra chapters at the end containing side-stories of this book. It will make more sense when you read the chapter titled: 'The little boat' near the end of the book, but the actual story is 60 chapters long.

He Has Never Lied to YOU! by JimWilliams6

Tall tales from Myassa, Florida, United States of A Merka. The stories here are not presented chronologically. Myassa is not chronological, nor is it particularly geographical, just "north Florida". You can't touch it but you can taste it. It's nowhere but you can always get there from here. You never see it coming and you never have to leave. You won't be alone because Myassa is open all night, every night. You unlock this door through the myth of Myassa. Beyond it is another demention: a demention of stupid, a demention of sight gags, a demention of mind farts. You're moving into a land both shallow and sophomoric, of alt history and ironies. You've just crossed over into... The Myassa Zone. "Where you're past is our future." From the introduction to volume one.

Pessimistic Coodies (RusAme) by Toddels

The tall tale of the later hardships faced by "the gifted child". As Russia ages, he finds his life dulling because he has nothing to live for. He had already succeeded in so much that his life loses purpose. One fateful day he unexpectedly befriends America who understands exactly how he is feeling. He persuades Russia to partake in deadly events with him to help him feel excitement again. Intelligently gifted depressed psychopaths should never become addicted to danger... or become besties. 🦠🦠🦠 America glances back over to me with a menacing grin plastered onto his face. He laughs and its echo haunts my ears. "I don't think I'm insane; surely my entire situation is understandable. If it weren't, I would've been put into that asylum when I was younger." I stare into his doe mismatched colored eyes. What the hell did I get myself into? "America, you are insane." I repeat. I was truly at a loss for words and had conflicting emotions. Crossing the street blindfolded was the last thing I had expected him to try. And yet, I was even more disturbed at how much I wanted to try it for myself... "And so are you, Russia." he says chillingly as if he had a key to my gated mind. "We are not so different and you know it. You are not normal; you revealed that to me in your past. Our horrible childhoods molded us into what we are today. " "I'm not fucking crazy." I tell him, "I find hobbies to feel alive- not to try to kill myself!" 🦠🦠🦠 **Not the story you will be expecting** ⚠️ Warning: This is a fictional novel, so please don't attempt or copy anything life threatening that these characters do, thanks TuT 💗 All art is mine :) 🫧 - Yes, there are many allusions to famous works of literature because I am an obsessed fanatic for them!! Also I included a shit ton of symbolism and foreshadowing. So be on the look out for everything! ✨ ;)

Sickness, Ailments, and Injuries - Oh My! by bayboo20

Obligatory sick fic for the fandom! We've got (at least) one victim from every region. Starting with the Northeast and some wisdom teeth removal, we'll then visit the South and check on a sick character. Then some of the Midwest gets injured, and finally the West takes us away into our last ailment of the day. (Oh yeah, this takes place over one day). Well... come and get your injured and hurting states everybody. They need the love.

FAKE NEWS AND ALTERNATIVE FACTS by JimWilliams6

INTRODUCTION HOWDY, Y'ALL! I'M THE RIGHT HONORABLE RANTIN N. RAVEN-FAUX VI, MAYOR OF MYASSA. WELCOME TO MYASSA! PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE! SET YOURSELF DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOMETHING TO DRINK? SOME NICE WARM GERBIL OR BUTTOX MILK? A COOL SLICE OF PENGUIN MERINGUE PIE FROM THE HONEY-BAKED HAMSTER HALF HOUSE? HOW ABOUT SOMETHING SWEET? THE RIGHT HONORABLE SPOUSE JUST GOT HOME FROM MYASSA FUDGEPACKER'S #2 BACKDOOR OUTLET WITH CHOCOLATE AND FROM THE NO FOODS MARKET WITH SOME MUTANT GREEN TWINKIES. DON'T LET THE SPORADIC GUNFIRE PUT YOU OFF. WE SUPPORT THE SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT TO BEAR FIRE ARMS. WITH THE WAY OUR GOVERNMENT IS HEADING, WE'RE GOING TO NEED OUR GUNS TO DEFEND OURSELVES FROM SUPPORTERS OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT. DID YOU SEE THE IMMENSE DAMAGE DONE BY HURRICANE IRMA AS YOU CAME INTO TOWN? NEITHER DID WE. WHAT A COLOSSALLY DISAPPOINTING UNHURRICANE! FEEL FREE TO WALK AROUND MYASSA. IT'S BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR, WITH THE BEGGAR LOUSE AND SAND SPUR CROPS IN BLOOM. BUT BE VERY CAREFUL TO KEEP MOVING IN THE MYASSA NATIONAL OLD GROWTH KUDZU FOREST. A LOT OF TOURISTS STOP TO LOOK AROUND AND ARE ENTWINED TO DEATH EVERY YEAR. PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I TEND TO MAYOR STUFF. ENJOY YOUR STAY.

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Slide 1 of 10

The Moving Times Of Caroline Proudly cover

My Brother's Gang cover

The American Idea cover

From His Perspective cover

Night Rider cover

He Has Never Lied to YOU! cover

Pessimistic Coodies (RusAme) cover

Sickness, Ailments, and Injuries - Oh My! cover

FAKE NEWS AND ALTERNATIVE FACTS cover

The Moving Times Of Caroline Proudly

Caroline is 16 when she suddenly decides that her perfectly normal and loving home life is absolutely and completely intolerable. Suddenly moving out of home in 1988 is the beginning of a 13 year journey. As the journey continues, the passage of time has no significance. Always with the ability to find the humorous side, each address marks another chapter in Caroline's life and is the backdrop for the people she meets and the events that occur. Accommodation varies from unheated rooms and houses with wheel-less cars jacked-up outside to Regency flats and rural cottages. Transportation means vary from a single use bicycle, to Betsa and the faithful Dwanetta. Flatmates vary from a lovely Brummie and a singing nun to a dying dog, a ginger laminator, a 3 nippled geek and an accidental spell with a local drugs baron. Events vary from harbouring boarding schoolgirls, exercising racehorses, the occasional rave, trading in shampoo and marmite on toast to looking for stolen laundry, going undercover and self-defence with a hockey stick. Jobs vary from not having one to shop work, bartending and au pair through to getting a toe on the corporate ladder. There is infatuation, and love from various sources so there is also disappointment, and breakups by varying means and for various reasons. Education varies from a bit of formal study to a large dollop of the University of Life. The latter being the real reason Caroline left home in the first place - to grow up in her own way through her own experiences with no-one else to blame but herself and the interesting hand that life deals along the way. Caroline moves home 19 times, only to find that the 20th move takes her to the last place she ever expected to be. Back where she started. Things aren't always as they seem...