a.m thoughts.
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- Votes 6
- Parts 2
Ongoing12m
Last published Sat, Feb 21, 2015
I am just fifteen.
I am just a normal girl.
I am just beginning my life.
I am just dying.
My name is Sydney White, and I am a struggling teenager caught in the constant battle between sleeping and thinking. I am not at all interesting, and not at all provocative, and not at all funny, and not at all someone who you would like to spend precious moments of your life learning about. But, I am someone, and that's not much, but it is something. So, if you'd allow me, I'd like to share with you my 'something' and I hope you find some philosophical meaning behind my madness.
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#161
sleepless
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ORIGINAL:The Boy With A Touch Of Cancer(BxB)
"Leo pinned me against the wall with his hips; his hands gently gripping my wrists, keeping my arms above my head against the cool brick behind me. His beautiful, hazy blue eyes -that had turned straight quicksilver, again- were filled with such an intense, carnal desire I couldn't even look into them, so I looked over his shoulder. I saw a small group of kids from the group standing out by their cars who would easily be able to see what we were doing...or at least what Leo was doing to me. At that moment, my mind started wandering to all the things that I could be doing to him right now...but I stopped that train of thought, immediately, as it started heading to all the wrong places... All the dirty places... All of those places involving a very hard part of my body... I glanced back at Leo; his gaze was still as intense as it was before (unfortunately). He smirked at me and said confidently, "You can't ignore me forever, Ethan. You're eventually gonna fall for my charms..." Ethan Carter was focused on 2 things. 1. School (obviously) and 2. Getting over ex (it's proving to be, harder than he thought), but now he has to add dying to that list, and suddenly having feelings for a boy (which has happened once before, but Ethan tries to forget it). Leo Malone makes Ethan feel things he's never felt for another guy. Leo's sweet, patient, and understanding, the only problem is, he's a guy. Ethan tries to ignore the fact that his heart flutters every time he sees Leo, or that he can't ever stop thinking about him; but if having cancer has taught him one thing, it's that, "You have to live in the present, as you may not have a future."Complete
THAT FIRST BREAK (Broken Redemption Prequel 1)
Choosing her cost me everything I'd ever loved... including her. I had everything a guy could ask for, a loving family, the perfect small-town life, and a promising future I had worked hard for. It should have been enough. She was off-limits, my parent's best friend's daughter, practically my sister. I fought my feelings, pretending our soul-deep connection didn't exist. When she confessed she felt the same, I pushed her away, believing our friendship mattered more than temporary infatuation. That she agreed should have come as a relief, but it left me with this void I didn't know how to fill. It's what drove me to the bonfire that night. Right there, with our friends as witnesses, I claimed her. Told her I loved her and made her promises I shouldn't have made. Hours later, it all came crashing down in a whirlwind of fire and ashes. That one split-second choice to go after a girl that wasn't meant for me cost me everything I loved. I never should have crossed that line or given in. It's why she'll forever be my greatest love and deepest regret. This tragic story is the beginning of our end...Complete
WHAT THEY SEE
"I got you something." He told her pulling away, while she watched him curiously until he pulled out a pandora bag. Her eyes widened at the necklace with an infinity symbol in crested with small little diamonds. "How you even afford this kari?" She questioned, unable to take her eyes off of it. "Shit, my savings." He rubbed the back of his head that possessed his starter loc twists. "That was so nice of you, you didn't have too." She smiled softly finally looking at him, "Can you put it on me?" He stood behind her and she moved her hair out of the way as he put it around her neck and clipped it back together. Her hand immediately went to it. "I'm never gone take it off." She promised him turning to face him. "I love you kari." "I love you too, hone. Til Infinity." --- When an unfortunate sequence of events suddenly separates two bestfriends, Dakari and Honesty, with no plausible reason, it's shakes up the world of the two inseparable individuals. With no goodbyes shared, Dakari was left feeling alone and heartbroken by the sudden disappearance of the only person outside of family that he cared for deeply. The outside world declared Dakari mad at the world, and he didn't think he could ever get over the missing void created by her absence. When honesty finds herself back where it all began, she discovers the hard way that Dakari no longer wants anything to do with her. The unexpected reunion rekindles unbearable memories of their deep connection and the painful separation that slowly but surely leads them back to each other. It's up to them to pick up the pieces of their broken friendship as they confront their past and face what's in store for their future, whether it's together or apart. They must decide if their love is strong enough to hurdle over the obstacles sent their way from every angle. Is true love worth fighting for no matter how long it takes? Published; Dec 24th, 2023 Finished; July 3rd, 2024Complete
Tomorrow's Blues
~"You don't- you don't need me." I stared in shock. This was the first shred of emotion he'd shown since he started avoiding me, and I had no idea how to respond. What was I supposed to say to something like that? So I let myself be honest, and I told him exactly how I felt. "But I do." I almost choked on my words. "I do need you. I can't talk to anybody else. I can't eat. I can't sleep. And I know you know what that's like."~ Liliana is now an orphan. Just 17 years old, she lost her parents in a boating accident and now she must live with her best friend, her best friend's parents and her best friend's brother, Joseph. She struggles through her grief as well as dealing with the mysterious but obnoxious Joseph, and it soon comes to light that he isn't the only one around her keeping secrets. Living under the same roof, tensions arise, and Liliana begins to discover that a perfect family may not be so perfect after all." If you like a good old slowburn, enemies (ish) to lovers, bonding over tragic backstories type beat then this story is for you, I promise :) #1 in #bestfriendsbrother (didn't note the exact date - some time in January 2021) #1 in #dealing with death (11/04/21) amazing cover by @sixty6ix !!Complete
Dying•Wishes
16 year old Lucille Dun gets diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and has less than a month to live. All she wants is a normal life so she makes the tough decisions of not telling her friends. See how her perspective changes after she finds out about her 2-3 week death time limit and how her friends react when she leaves a note for them after her death day. (My writing skills are better than my descriptive skills) Really sad story, it's based off a dream i had. I'm not to sure if these facts about cancer are true or not but I tried to do some research on it. But this story is mostly made for the reveal of the notes and not as much of other genres.Complete
Gambit (Obsessions in Overdrive #2)
Previously known as The Accident --------- She is beautiful. So fucking beautiful. She is a star and I would become an astronomer for her and I would study for the rest of my life and I would bleed, sweat and cry day and night just so I can understand her beauty. I would want the other stars to be jealous of her since no matter how big and bright they shine, she will always be the brightest one illuminating the night sky. She's better than everyone. I constantly think about how she can do so much better and how she deserves to be with someone who will notice everything amazing about her and not just use her. She needs to be with someone who will notice how she laughs. How confident she is. How she talks. The way her smile is different from the rest and the way her eyes glow when you talk about the stars. They should notice how her hair flows and how she can talk all day. She needs to be with me. --------- Contains: Fake-dating College romance --------- Started: 12 October 2021 Ended: 16 January 2023 Editing completion: 12 July 2024 --------- #1 firststory #1 hotel #1 pretty #2 cutegirl #2 teenagers #3 lossComplete
REVISED:The Boy With A Touch Of Cancer (BxB)
"Leo pinned me against the wall with his hips. His hands gently gripped my wrists, keeping my arms above my head against the cool brick behind me. His quicksilver eyes were filled with such an intense, carnal desire I couldn't even look into them, so I looked over his shoulder. I saw a few kids from the group standing out by their cars who would easily be able to see what we were doing...or at least what Leo was doing to me. At that moment, my mind started wandering to all the things that I could be doing to him right now...but I stopped that train of thought immediately, as it started heading to all the wrong places... All the dirty places. I glanced back at Leo. His gaze was still as intense as it was before. He smirked at me and said confidently, "You can't ignore me forever, Ethan. You're eventually gonna fall for my charms..." Ethan Carter was focused on 2 things. 1. School (obviously) and 2. Getting over ex (it's proving to be, harder than he thought), but now he has to add dying to that list, and suddenly having feelings for a boy. Leo Malone makes Ethan feel things he's never felt for another guy. Leo's sweet, patient, and understanding...the only problem is, he's a guy. Ethan tries to ignore the fact that his heart flutters every time he sees Leo, or that he can't ever stop thinking about him, but if having cancer has taught him one thing, it's that you have to live in the present, as you may not have a future.Complete
Therapy Confessions To Doctor Julia
COMPLETED STORY!!! Therapy is what the Doctor ordered, when I had my physical. I'm supposed to be the pretty, rich, popular white girl, however, I really don't feel that way anymore. My parents keep asking me the same questions and telling me about how things will turn around. My friends don't know how to talk to me anymore. The world around me keeps on going but I feel like I keep drowning. Maybe you can help me.Complete
"Leo pinned me against the wall with his hips; his hands gently gripping my wrists, keeping my arms above my head against the cool brick behind me. His beautiful, hazy blue eyes -that had turned straight quicksilver, again- were filled with such an intense, carnal desire I couldn't even look into them, so I looked over his shoulder. I saw a small group of kids from the group standing out by their cars who would easily be able to see what we were doing...or at least what Leo was doing to me. At that moment, my mind started wandering to all the things that I could be doing to him right now...but I stopped that train of thought, immediately, as it started heading to all the wrong places... All the dirty places... All of those places involving a very hard part of my body... I glanced back at Leo; his gaze was still as intense as it was before (unfortunately). He smirked at me and said confidently, "You can't ignore me forever, Ethan. You're eventually gonna fall for my charms..." Ethan Carter was focused on 2 things. 1. School (obviously) and 2. Getting over ex (it's proving to be, harder than he thought), but now he has to add dying to that list, and suddenly having feelings for a boy (which has happened once before, but Ethan tries to forget it). Leo Malone makes Ethan feel things he's never felt for another guy. Leo's sweet, patient, and understanding, the only problem is, he's a guy. Ethan tries to ignore the fact that his heart flutters every time he sees Leo, or that he can't ever stop thinking about him; but if having cancer has taught him one thing, it's that, "You have to live in the present, as you may not have a future."
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