Everest.
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I would think that on the top of mount Everest would be the most secluded place on Earth. You're at the top of the world, with no voices, no noise, ...just air...your thoughts...bliss...and the feel of the wind. I'm using it I guess as a perceived form of a metaphor for how I let myself feel sometimes. So pretty much this is just another passage of telling who I am...I don't know why I'm writing about it because nobody will see it. But like I've said before, I'd rather have people learn who I am first if they want to be involved with me...so..this is Everest A.K.A my subconscious.
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ℑ 𝔖𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔜𝔬𝔲
ᵞᴬᴺᴰᴱᴿᴱ ᶜᴿᵁˢᴴ ˣ ᶠᴼᴿᴹᴱᴿ ᵞᴬᴺᴰᴱᴿᴱ ᴿᴱᴬᴰᴱᴿ WILL EDIT WHEN COMPLETED!! #5 lime 20220621 #1 Yandere 20230409 (Bffr 💀 🤣) #2 Obsession 20230409 (Y'all crazy 🧋👀) "You're fucking crazy!!" I shouted. Ironic, right? I was in the exact same position he was in before. "I'm crazy for you. Literally. I would do anything and I mean anything to keep you all to myself." He tells me, scoffing at the thought of something as if he found an inside joke. "I know selfish. I know I'm supposed to be a good Christian boy and here I am... haha... killing people for you~" The psycho admits, gazing at me with a grin on his face. Holding a bloody knife in his grasp. The sharp point's on his index finger, slowly twirling it. "You're crazy for me, you said you love me and-" "I WAS crazy for you but I wasn't that crazy to KILL innocent people for you because I knew I had issues but this is beyond insane!" I'm standing face to face in front of my brainwashed crush. The one I kidnapped and told him things that was beyond coherence to him at the moment. I confessed my feelings for him in the same method. ---- But he was never like this because I was the one that changed him. It was me. After almost two months of captivity, I let him go. For the reason of him: never loving me. I Deleted my social media accounts, dropped my classes, and burned his stuff I kept. I haven't seen him for days until one day when I was walking to my classes. I accidentally bumped into him with my schedule and he grabbed it amongst the other miscellaneous stuff, and ever since then, I've been seeing him everywhere. At times, I wish he would've just reported me. Because this is a living nightmare. Started: 20210327 (I think?) Ended:
Second Chance
In his last life he gave it all to his little brother who was kidnapped at the age of five , recused at the age of sixteen. Extra care - Brother needed it. Parent's support - How could he even ask for it when his brother missed it for eleven years. Brother owed it. Arranged marriage with his best friend - He never wanted it in the first place. They are like bros! So, when his brother showed interest in his best friend , he encouraged it. All he wanted was a happy and complete family. But he never realised that all his efforts to give his brother a family , would separate him from his family. "Your brother is sick ! We can't attend your graduation." - Mother "Just come back after taking the certificate. I think it's serious." - Best friend. .... "Bro , we already left for the trip. Why were you so late ?"- Best friend. "Why didn't you pick up your calls ? Your brother was worried to death. He almost had a panic attack. We started the journey to distract him."- mother. ..... "Your brother is new to the family. How would he know you are allergic to eggs?" - Mother. "Just go to the hospital. Don't ruin his birthday." - Father. "Bro , why did you even eat that cake ? I can't leave the party to accompany you now." - Best friend. ...... He had enough. He loves his brother too but his love shouldn't be one sided "Do you all even care about me ?I am dying here. My allergy is severe. I can die." He shouts with a hoarse voice. "Nobody dies from egg allergy. Don't exaggerate." "You all are my family. You all know how serious it is. My limbs are getting numb." "We are sending the driver." "Is dd's birthday more important than my life ?" That was the last question he asked before his senses went shady. "How can you be jealous of your own brother." That's what he heard for the last time before everything went black. He chuckles in his fate. What a joke his life has become ! Wish he could get another chance , another chance to live once again !
Release
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.Complete
Inseparable
My phone rings seeing zahirie's contact I don't answer but pressed declined, he calls two more times I declined each time Turning off my read receipts also. I search up a random video on Pinterest with a couple it looks like me but it's not "Enjoying my man's company," I post it turning my phone WiFi off closing my phone I placed it down Laying down i felt a rush of excitement . Getting up I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed I hum Alkaline: Thug loving before exiting the bathroom i smile dancing around. I jump at the figure on my bed i touch the light switch "JESUS!," I exclaimed seeing an angry zahirie sitting on my bed with my phone in his hand. His eyes are red and low, he smells like a mixture of weed and expensive cologne Holding my chest as my heart pounds I don't move towards him. Getting up he comes over to me He grabs me by my throat not hard but so that I can feel a bit pressure "Who yah fuck wid,?" He asks his deep voice sending chills up my spine and down to my coochie. He reaches down touching my front He tilts his head "Betta," he says pulling away Weh him mean by dat? He grips my throat again giving me a look "Who dat yuh post,?" He asks as I don't answer he asks again this time voice getting deeper and grip tighter "A random video mi find," I say struggling to breathe he loosened his grip "Stop fuck wid mi yer," he says letting go of my neck moving towards the door "Suppose mi did ave man yah weh yuh woulda do,?" I ask he stopped turning towards me "Fuck around and find out," his tone is deadly and serious he sounds scary and the look on his face scares me "Turn on yuh WiFi and nuh decline man call ago call yuh as mi reach inna eh car doh mek eh phone ring out," he instructed leaving my room Not even a minute later he calls I answered on the first ring. His face comes in the camera as he smirks "Good girl," he stated driving off Wah kinda mad man dis mi go tek up pon mi head fada God?Complete
The Words I couldn't Say
This is a place for me to put all the things I wish I said but I just couldn't. These are a way for me to "say" these things without actually saying them to the person I want to. I probably won't ever go back or read any of these because it's like revisiting a bad memory so don't expect much in terms of editing. Also I wouldn't consider this poetry but it is laid out that way. WARNING Talk of depression, suicide, anxiety, and self harm. Don't read if you don't like things like that and may get triggered. I don't mean to cause anyone problems of any sort, but these are the things I feel and can't help. Please keep negativity away as this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people. Thank you. Highest rankings: 99 in sadpoems Highest rankings: 118 in iwannadieComplete
Moving In
Blaze White is the New Girl at the Prep school in her mothers old home town. But her only goal for senior year is to keep a low profile, no friends, no parties and NO boys. Axel may be adored and worshipped by his peer-but he hates people, except 5. So when a beautiful but closed off girl suddenly enters his group. He is not welcoming of the mysterious beauty despite the pull they both feel. •••• WARNING: This was written many moons ago. I have decided to put it back up because of a large request from readers. However, I was a kid when I wrote this so take it with a grain of salt. *** Like a deer in head lights, I freeze and watch as the car comes towards me expecting to get hit. But to my surprise, the car swerves to the side slightly next to me and comes to a stop. I take a deep breath I didn't know I was holding at the driver's side door swings open and a very pissed off Axel steps out. "Thank god," I mumble and place my hands on my knees to catch my breath. "Blaze?" He says and I hate it. I hate how he says my name as if it's his. Like he knows it's the only thing I want to hear, him calling out to me, looking at me, focused to me. It's the first time in my life I wanted someone's attention so badly I didn't care how I got it. And that was too dangerous for me to hold onto. "Are you insane or some shit? I could have killed you!" He says and starts to walk towards me. I take a big breath and step back away from him, "s-stop! Axel," I stutter still panting. It's then he notices the blood on my hands and shirt. "Is that blood?" He asks staring at my shirt and I take another step back. "Stop, stay b-back," I try to say confidently but I can't even breath right. Realizing he won't listen I start to turn around planning to make a break for it. "Don't run from me Blaze it won't go well," he growls reading my thoughts causing me to freeze in my spot. "Do not ever think you can get away from me."Complete
Grey
Dear whatever, Or is it whoever? I don't know, I'm not a writer anyways. Hi, I'm Arielle, but please call me A, I'm sick of hearing my name, or anyname actually, it just bothers me that I'm not actually as special as they'd want me to believe. Who's they? Oh, I don't know, everyone? Society? Whatever, so I guess I should tell you what this is about, eh? I'm writing this so I have something to leave behind, some sort of purpose to stay here, in this world, in this reality. I guess another reason is so that people can understand me? Or anyone like me I guess. To know what goes on in my mind. This will be officially started on June 4, 2017, my birthday, and will end on June 4, 2018. Whatever happens to this book, I promise myself that I won't delete it. If anyone actually bothers reading this, leave comments and suggestions or questions to get mentioned in the next chapter. I will be posting daily, but word count and time posted may vary. May 29, 2017 Monday 11:11 PM Signing off, AComplete
A Collection of Poems
These poems are just some of the little pieces that make up my life. Whenever I get inspired by someone or something, I write a little story about it in the form of a poem. In a way, it helps me express what I have in my mind in a very vague way. I'm not that kind of a direct person, but there are things that are sometimes, better to kept secret. Here, these poems are what I wanted to say to my friends, to other important people, to people in general, to the world around me, to life and each detail it possesses. Each poem has a central theme, and around that revolves a certain story that I want to impart, something too delicate to be expressed directly, something too complicated. Here, I want to share who I am. That's ... probably all ... that I need to say.Complete
Infinite Love: A Diary of Remembrance
Content warning: There are sections of writing in this book which contain references to suicidal ideation, self-harm, hallucinations and delusions both psychotic and neurotic. The writing within this book is the direct writing from my day-to-day diary that had been kept from 6 January, 2020 until May 24, 2020. Serendipitously, I was in the middle of a great struggle when I first began writing in it, and it eventually became too much to bear. There was inevitably a so-called awakening, which gave me the very simple knowing of who I am (and who you are) and which allowed me to deepen within myself through this knowing. It was a stillness that was such an obvious thing in my existence that it had always been subconsciously overlooked as unimportant. It isn't satisfying to the mind to just be, but it is infinitely satisfying to the being to just be. Nothing is missing and nothing needs to be found. This is the simplicity of the still, non-phenomenal being which is in fact yourself and myself, as one Self. This book is something which came out of that stillness, and held within it is an attempt to point towards whatever this is that I have discovered as myself. I do hope that you find it somewhat enjoyable and perhaps learn a thing or two about yourself. Thank you.Complete
Anomalies ✔
"I am the textbook definition of in love with you." *** Castor Rex: He's snarky, quiet and mysterious. A secret keeper. He doesn't like his life to be on display. People avoid him, even if they respect him. Jasper Red: He's polite, nice and helpful. A open book. He likes filling his life with other people and their love. People love him, they can't help it. Because of his quiet nature, snarky smirks and sarcastic words Castor has always had a hard time when it came to making friends -and keeping them. Something Jazz doesn't struggle with. With Jazz's protective nature, shyness and many friends he doesn't need someone else to fill a spot in his life -at least, that's what he thought. Then they met. And that empty part in Jazz's heart felt a little bit bigger because he started to realize Cas could fill it. Cas sees him as a grinning, happy dork he has no chance with. Jazz sees him as a adorable, grumpy jock that now, is his. Castor wants to get through the school year as quietly as possible but with how loud Jazz loves, neither of them know if it's possible, and to make matters worse they're roommates for the rest of the year. It's only a matter of time before they come together or fall apart. *** As a private person, someone who doesn't share myself with others, I can say that learning how to interact with others is difficult. It's like baking, almost, you have to mix the right ingredients together, and if you add the wrong ones things can taste hideous even if they look good. It's a lot like our words. But I've mastered how to tell someone just a little about myself but doing it in a way that makes the person in front of me think they know a lot. Jasper, somehow, sees through this every fucking time and it's absolutely infuriating. He's never satisfied with just a little of me, with my hidden truth, and it's the most annoying thing I've ever experienced. *** @STESLARA made the second POV in her book 'Jasper Red's Anomaly'Complete
ᵞᴬᴺᴰᴱᴿᴱ ᶜᴿᵁˢᴴ ˣ ᶠᴼᴿᴹᴱᴿ ᵞᴬᴺᴰᴱᴿᴱ ᴿᴱᴬᴰᴱᴿ WILL EDIT WHEN COMPLETED!! #5 lime 20220621 #1 Yandere 20230409 (Bffr 💀 🤣) #2 Obsession 20230409 (Y'all crazy 🧋👀) "You're fucking crazy!!" I shouted. Ironic, right? I was in the exact same position he was in before. "I'm crazy for you. Literally. I would do anything and I mean anything to keep you all to myself." He tells me, scoffing at the thought of something as if he found an inside joke. "I know selfish. I know I'm supposed to be a good Christian boy and here I am... haha... killing people for you~" The psycho admits, gazing at me with a grin on his face. Holding a bloody knife in his grasp. The sharp point's on his index finger, slowly twirling it. "You're crazy for me, you said you love me and-" "I WAS crazy for you but I wasn't that crazy to KILL innocent people for you because I knew I had issues but this is beyond insane!" I'm standing face to face in front of my brainwashed crush. The one I kidnapped and told him things that was beyond coherence to him at the moment. I confessed my feelings for him in the same method. ---- But he was never like this because I was the one that changed him. It was me. After almost two months of captivity, I let him go. For the reason of him: never loving me. I Deleted my social media accounts, dropped my classes, and burned his stuff I kept. I haven't seen him for days until one day when I was walking to my classes. I accidentally bumped into him with my schedule and he grabbed it amongst the other miscellaneous stuff, and ever since then, I've been seeing him everywhere. At times, I wish he would've just reported me. Because this is a living nightmare. Started: 20210327 (I think?) Ended:
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