With Every Heartbeat

Alright let's get this tragic shit out of the way. My brother, Ryan, died in a drunk driving wreck about a year and a half ago. Since then my parents have done nothing but work, we barely even speak at this point they work so much. For about two months the only thing that I did was lay in bed completely isolated from my three friends who remind me too much of him, until they basically broke into my house one night and stayed with me. Without them I don't even know if I would be here today. Things are starting to get better now that I'll be too busy with school and soccer, on top of work. So I invite you to see how it is to navigate all this shit as well as the possibility of opening my heart up to other people again, because every heartbeat is worth living till your last dying breathe.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
- C.S. Lewis