Heartbreak girl

Have you ever thought of the reason of cutting myself instead of judging me and saying that i'm insane? I guess the answer is no!! I'm trying to pretend I'm fine but I think I fail every time. How can I stop and I'm feeling that everything in my life is falling apart? Is it just simple as seeing my blood painting the floor? Or how it is late to help me as I'm already gone? I've been to all of these. I don't actually want to grab your attention or even to sympathy for me. Maybe none knows how it feels like that you can't stand to look in the mirror and see your life ruined by some cuts and scars that don't leave your body. Have you ever felt that cutting is your addiction to get rid of this judging life? You can't put yourself in my shoes and walk in the life i've been in. I'm not even worried to hide my addiction any more. I wish I was strong and capable. Capable to not make you embarrassed by me. Can you at least listen to me and don't think that I'm that nasty person who hates life?