CONFIRMATION {H.S}
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- Parts 71
Complete Fri, Sep 13, 20246h 40m
how does it feel to be just a 18 year old girl to get married and be called someone's wife..... i thought of ending my life on my wedding day...... it feels so unreal but it is real....My mom and dad made me get married at a very early age.... i thought I would live my life....... i never knew my life could change after this arrange marriage which turns out to be love....... how can he be there for me everytime......why do I get this wired feeling which seems something nice and safe......my mind, my body, my soul is now all his. i gave myself to him....... i feel sad for him, he is so pretty, cute, handsome and breath taking, because he has to marry someone who should not be married..... I'm so ugly, fat and a waste girl...... i sometimes wonder how did he say yes to me...... I'm so scared, with what he's gonna say on the wedding night....... he must be scared of such a ugly human like me...... when ever he comes i always keep my gaze down
........... his mom and dad are so caring and his sister is such a good sister-in-law........... sometimes i just wanna touch his face and hair....... but I'm afraid that I'll destroy it......... he doesn't deserve to be with a girl like me.......... I'm still in college......... all late night i sit and cry to myself....... what is my life now..mm what am I gonna do now...... i want my independence....... nothing more........... is asking this much...... is it too much..........GOD................
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Dear Diary: 14/01/2019 Monday I can't believe my luck. After 6 long years of silence, after so much heartache and healing, I saw him today. The one who took my heart, the one I trusted to keep it safe, only for him to crush it beneath his spiked boots. Not literally-he never wore spiked boots-but the pain he caused me back then? It felt like he might as well have. I tried so hard to keep my expression neutral when I saw him, but I could feel it slipping. The surprise, the confusion, the sting of old wounds, all right there on my face. I wonder if my boss noticed. I wonder if he noticed. He looked different, of course. It's been six years, after all, but he seemed so calm, so composed... and I can't deny it-he looked good. Too good. It caught me off guard how attractive he still is, maybe even more so now. That sense of ease he carries... it's the kind of cool confidence that feels magnetic. Damn it, I hope I looked different to him, too. Better, stronger-like a woman who has come into her own. I hope he saw that and thought, "I lost something special." I'm trying to tell myself it doesn't matter, that this chance meeting was just that: chance. But there's this voice inside me, a quiet one at first, now growing louder, whispering, "What are the odds?" What are the chances that, after all these years, after all that we've both been through, we would cross paths again like this? It doesn't mean anything. It can't mean anything. I'm practically married and my fiance is the one I've built a future with. But I won't lie-the thought of him, of what could've been, still echoes in my mind, and it's unsettling how easy those old feelings are to stir.
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