The courage to live or die
LinamandlaMakamba0
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LinamandlaMakamba0
Ongoing, First published Aug 30, 2022
deathfyplinamandalovemakambapoetryromancesuicidalthoughtssuicideattempttevenwattpad
we all  have fears.  some have fears of falling or snakes or dying. but dying to Jonathan seems so peaceful it's an escape. He does not have the courage to actually do it though.  He meats a girl  and they become close friends.  she makes him see the whole world differently but the girl dies and he goes back to being like he used to. he finally makes his decision and gets the courage to live or die
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deathfyplinamandalovemakambapoetryromancesuicidalthoughtssuicideattempttevenwattpad
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𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕠𝕖𝕞𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕣𝕒𝕨, 𝕙𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕦𝕟𝕒𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔, 𝕔𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕥 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕕𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟. 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕,𝕤𝕒𝕕𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕚𝕕𝕤𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣. 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕖𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕕𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟, 𝕒𝕤 𝕚𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕣𝕖𝕗𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕘𝕠. 𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕕𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤, 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕓𝕖𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕓𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕙𝕒𝕤 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕕𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟. 𝕀𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕣𝕖𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕖 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕒𝕝𝕨𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕠𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕠𝕨.
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Blood Orange Periphery

44 parts Ongoing

My suicide had been two years in the making when I decided not to follow through at the last minute. Over the past decade, I've written poems, books, short stories, fanfiction and hundreds of thousands of words, but nothing felt complete. This collection of selected works was meant to be my final offering- the only thing ready for posthumous publication. Blood Orange Periphery includes poems written in the months preceding the end-that-didn't-happen, some of my best teenage scribbles, and journal entries that chronicle the transition from death-planning, to recalibrating life.

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