FAKE NEWS AND ALTERNATIVE FACTS - Jim Williams - Wattpad

FAKE NEWS AND ALTERNATIVE FACTS

Reads 105
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Parts 26
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Reads 105
Votes 0
Parts 26
Time 1h 2m

absurd althistory bathroom beer bigfoot bizarre bullshit country dumb florida lampoon nonsense parody politics president redneck sasquatch satire serial southern strange stupid talltales twisted

INTRODUCTION

HOWDY, Y'ALL!  I'M THE RIGHT HONORABLE RANTIN N. RAVEN-FAUX VI, MAYOR OF MYASSA.  

WELCOME TO MYASSA!  PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!  SET YOURSELF DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.  WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOMETHING TO DRINK?  SOME NICE WARM GERBIL OR BUTTOX MILK?  A COOL SLICE OF PENGUIN MERINGUE PIE FROM THE HONEY-BAKED HAMSTER HALF HOUSE?  HOW ABOUT SOMETHING SWEET?  THE RIGHT HONORABLE SPOUSE JUST GOT HOME FROM MYASSA FUDGEPACKER'S #2 BACKDOOR OUTLET WITH CHOCOLATE AND FROM THE NO FOODS MARKET WITH SOME MUTANT GREEN TWINKIES.

DON'T LET THE SPORADIC GUNFIRE PUT YOU OFF.  WE SUPPORT THE SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT TO BEAR FIRE ARMS.  WITH THE WAY OUR GOVERNMENT IS HEADING, WE'RE GOING TO NEED OUR GUNS TO DEFEND OURSELVES FROM SUPPORTERS OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT.

DID YOU SEE THE IMMENSE DAMAGE DONE BY HURRICANE IRMA AS YOU CAME INTO TOWN? NEITHER DID WE.  WHAT A COLOSSALLY DISAPPOINTING UNHURRICANE!

FEEL FREE TO WALK AROUND MYASSA.  IT'S BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR, WITH THE BEGGAR LOUSE AND SAND SPUR CROPS IN BLOOM.  BUT BE VERY CAREFUL TO KEEP MOVING IN THE MYASSA NATIONAL OLD GROWTH KUDZU FOREST.  A LOT OF TOURISTS STOP TO LOOK AROUND AND ARE ENTWINED TO DEATH EVERY YEAR.  

PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I TEND TO MAYOR STUFF.  ENJOY YOUR STAY.Creative Commons (CC) Attribution

absurd althistory bathroom beer bigfoot bizarre bullshit country dumb florida lampoon nonsense parody politics president redneck sasquatch satire serial southern strange stupid talltales twisted

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𝔪𝔶 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 ━ 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭./𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔠. by pxtterslatte

❝𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲, 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧'❞ -𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫 ━ 𝔦𝔫 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔳𝔦𝔫 𝔣𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯. ━ 𝔬𝔯 ━ 𝔦𝔫 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔬𝔫 𝔠𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔪𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔨 𝔱𝔬 𝔏𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢, ℑ𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔬𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔞 𝔯𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔰. ━ i do not own harry potter or tim allen's santa clause. there will be mpreg and foul language. harry is in his sixth year at hogwarts. i would also rate this book rated-r. ━ #5 bernard (11/30/21) #1 charliecalvin (3/22/21) #1 scottcalvin (5/15/21) #2 malebreastfeeding (5/15/21) #1 nekoharry (10/11/21)

cavities - a countryhumans one-shot book by wheezymichael

a sickeningly sweet one-shot book probably to be filled with amerus, but i can take requests for other ships this is for me to vent out and also just get my ideas on paper before they leave me. i don't do smut, only fluff and other stuff, hence the name. requests are open :) i'll try not to give much angst, because i too would like some fluff at times. #1 countryhumanrusame - july 4th, 2020 #3 countryhumansrusame - july 9th, 2020 #2 countryhumansships - august 30th, 2022 #1 shiponeshots - august 7th, 2020 #5 amerus - june 9th, 2022 #1 countryhumansoneshots - may 11th, 2021 #1 americaxjapan - april 16th, 2021 #1 amepan - april 16th, 2021 #3 gerpol - april 16th, 2021 #3 countryhumansrusger - april 16th, 2021 #1 countryhumansgerpol - june 2nd, 2021 #49 rusame - november 27th, 2021 #86 countryhumans - august 11th, 2022

W.E.L.F.S: The Snake's Eye (COMPLETED) by Naumaan333

"I saw you and you were just standing there. I started walking towards you and you-just-just stood there." Stuttered Stiles. "I tapped on your shoulder and you turned around. You didn't answer me. You didn't even notice I was there. You just stared at something, something that wasn't visible and y-you-" Paused Stiles, whose legs were vibrating and he started to breathe heavily. "And I what?" I asked trying to get the words out. "You died." He stated. "What?" Asked I, like he had just said the most craziest thing ever. It was slightly humorous. He had to be joking, I thought to myself. "You- just died." Murmured Stiles, who had stopped shaking and had stood up. -------------- The world consists of many parallel multiverses. Each separate and unique. We all know Earth 1, yet not many people are familiar to the lost planet, Earth 1000. The planet was Imperium; Declared the most powerful, biggest rogue planet of the multiverse- many people sought out to rule it. Therefore a war was sparked. Some people say, that the planet birthed death because of the deadly war. However, something else was birthed, an heir. Her name was Milia. She possessed true power and ultimately ended the war. Milia ruled the world and her children became the inevitable successors. Although they lacked Milia's gift, the future generation, though it was thousand's of years later contained Milia's powers. The children were named the true heir, therefore they were hunted. No hunter was more well known than the bitch, the baddest; Methaya. Being half human, half snake, her luminescent eyes turned the living into the inanimate. To save her children, the Queen of the planet rifted her children into Earth, where they lived for 500 years, unaware of their cursed destiny. After a prophecy declaring that the oldest would die, the truth started unravelling and they learnt things- that would change things forever. Genre: Mystery, Fiction and Fantasy Warning: it does contain cuss words.

Weigh Out Way-In by JASaak

There is an unexpected turn in the story that drastically changes the course of events and, in the long run, even the lives of those involved. Magpie, the first to be involved, suddenly finds himself in the world so unlike his own. Will he find his place there or will he be at least able to go back home? He seems to find his way back from this new world of giga-dimensions but something unwanted happens, and things go worse. The cultural differences, together with a challenging personality traits of another involved in the events, suck Magpie and his friends into a downward spiral. The story challenges you to see the world differently from the perspective you are perhaps too used to and narrowed by. Life can be an adventure if you don't narrow it with a bigotry that forces you to be rooted in your trenches and behind your dividing walls. This doesn't mean you have to accept others' views without standing your ground. However, to be able to share our lives in this one and only world we need to make compromises, on both sides. Are you the first brave one to set this positive trend in motion? So read on and let the foundation of the story be laid. From the end of episode 1 on, the story really picks up, finally reaching its climax at the end of episode 3 with quite a surprising finish. Your participation in solving this shared challenge of coexistence and cooperation is highly appreciated. Remember those who cooperate make more progress than those who don't! The ideal audience for my first book is actually between 12 and 16, but anybody older and interested in adventures, cultures and in getting more understanding into our multifaceted world is sure to enjoy the story. (The whole story has now been published, the only thing I'll still add is the final epilogue but the story is already available in its entirety.)

FFACE: The Story of Edward Stile (Discontinued) by YeastusDefeastus

THIS IS AN OLD STORY. IF YOU WISH TO READ THE REWRITE, YOU CAN FIND IT HERE: https://www.wattpad.com/story/370553379-ffac-the-story-of-edward-stile-re-write If you wish to read the old version, then proceed; there is nothing else I will do to stop you. - After being fired from his job in retail for something he didn't do, Edward Stile needed more work fast. With some vague instructions from his landlord, he stumbles across a certain Convention and Eatery, which acted as home to several anthropomorphic robots. And with only the night watch available, what's the worst that could happen, eh?

Beyond the City Lights by EvelynMuoz0

***"Scream if you find anything" He says "I have my- "I begin to say realizing my gun was no longer with me. "Yeah I took your gun when we came here" I swear under my breath before entering the shed to change because it's cold and I don't want to be naked in front of a stranger. "Stupid wolf-man" I mumble slipping into my jeans. "I can hear you" I roll my eyes before coming outside. "You forgot the shoes" I look down at my bare feet. When I look up he was walking to I don't know where. I had to jog to keep up with him. "Where are- -we going?" He stops making me collide with his back. "You'll see" I fix the hair that smacked my face.*** Preview The rules for Morgan are simple: Don't let your feelings get in the way of what is really happening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4QnuPKciys ***Chapter 10 is available** 11-20 are private! Ranked #385 for Werewolves and Vampires!!!!! https://www.wattpad.com/story/143216812-beyond-the-city-lights-overcoming-the-darkness (Book TWOOOOO)

The Golden Soldier (Call of Duty: WW2 Fanfiction) by brontideandsough

Avaline Baker is a young woman on a camping trip with friends when she decides to go into a museum that will change her life forever. Somehow transported into the future, Ava finds herself at the barrel tip of Nazi German soldier. Transported to their camp as prisoner, Ava is lost and confused as to what, where, and who she is with...the how part is the most antagonizing. Shortly after being saved by two American men, Ava discovers she's been placed at the center of World War Two. Surrounded by warfare and American men who have strict mindsets about women in the the 1940's, the 21-year-old feels like she has no hope of surviving. To even have a chance, Ava has to prove that just because she's a woman, doesn't mean she isn't capable of fighting to survive like the rest of them. Ava finds herself stuck in 1944, with "strange" technology called a cell phone, no way of charging it, and no way of getting home. In the midst of a gruesome and horrifying war, she finds herself questioning more than just sanity of the time period, but even her own. Hopefully, with careful and calculating steps, Ava will survive the blistering cold winters, the first-hand experience of a war, and developing a difficult bond with the men of 1st Platoon. --•--•--•-- This is a work of fan-fiction, which means I don't own practically anything. Except for Aveline Baker and some scenes. Will be based off of/follow the campaign. This work has content pertaining to difficult aspects of WW2 including blood and gore; swearing/harsh language; sexual/crude comments and actions; German POW camps; etc. Please DO NOT READ if you aren't comfortable or have too strong opinions on things related to WW2. It's a fictional story and, thus, should be treated like it. On flip side, there will humor. Especially from Zussman- we all like him. And don't forget moments from hardass Pierson...those will get interesting too. ;) ~Started on September 1st, 2018~ ~Finished September 1st, 2019~

Feel The Angst by virginsacrifice

(Highest ranking #2 in marysue) [previously titled "marysue roasts"] *warning* If you are a sensitive little child don't read this book, you'll probably end up crying... AND READ MY DISCLAIMER FIRST!! Basically, you can send me whatever you want and I'll do a rating/rant/give my opinion on it:)) but don't worry you still can send me ocs to rate Examples of things you can send: Ratings: ocs, book, au etc... Rant:anything cringe worthy Opinion: anything really(fandoms,idk food???)

Guns and Roses | ✔ by Trina_K

(Original Version) My cousin and I are the only true bloods left in the Thanos Family. I'm eighteen now and my absent father decided to finally take responsibility of having another child. Moving from New York to California wasn't the hard part. The hard part was trying to find the ones who murdered my mother and my grandparents, pretending to be a normal high schooler, and along with that, fighting my feelings for one of my brother's best friends. Didn't I mention that I am also going to be the new Don of our West Coast Empire? I am Gaiana Kallisto Thanos, Mafia Princess, and the best fucking fighter there is. This is book one of the Mafia Duet. WARNING: 18+ Mature scenes and language. _________________________________________ EXCERPT: "I only give respect to those who deserve it, and the only one in this room that deserves it is Alex. Plus you can't call me a slut when you are the one who loves to constantly have her bed warmed with partners. I'm the one in a stable relationship." She gave a smirk. "You sure about that," she asked. She took her phone out and showed me a photo of Luca dressed in what he wore today, escorting Stephany into the passenger seat of his car. I felt my heart drop to my stomach but didn't outwardly show it. Years of being able to turn off my emotions come in handy. "Well there goes that." I looked into her eyes. "What? Did you expect me to drop to the floor and cry? Honey, you don't know me. And you never will because I'm moving out." I looked at my father and said, "It was nice meeting you but I'm good. I'll pack my stuff and be out by tonight." _________________________________________ Start: March 30, 2018 End: August 31, 2018 Copyrighted 2018

Roadtrip?! Hetalia x Reader by That_Weirdo_one

WATTYS 2019 COMPLETED BOOK 1 *Tries to think cool quote from the book* 》"Yeah it really is beautiful" He said. "And now you are supposed to say some cheesy pick-up line" You advised. He chuckled and thought for a moment. "But not as beautiful as you.. Is that cringe enough?"《 (Nailed it) (Y/N) is a country. One day America requests few countries including (C/N) in a meeting.. Somehow they end up in Disney land. Action: Checked✔ Breaking the 4th wall: Checked✔ Romance: Checked✔ 2p's: ..Maybe? Shitty humor: Checked✔ And i think that everybody knows that i don't own Hetalia (Or do i?), you (you belong to the countries) or any of the pictures that i have used! I just own few of my OC's and the story plot.

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𝔪𝔶 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 ━ 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭./𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔠. cover

cavities - a countryhumans one-shot book cover

W.E.L.F.S: The Snake's Eye (COMPLETED) cover

Weigh Out Way-In cover

FFACE: The Story of Edward Stile (Discontinued) cover

Beyond the City Lights cover

The Golden Soldier (Call of Duty: WW2 Fanfiction) cover

Feel The Angst cover

Guns and Roses | ✔ cover

Roadtrip?! Hetalia x Reader cover

𝔪𝔶 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 ━ 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭./𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔠.

❝𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲, 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧'❞ -𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫 ━ 𝔦𝔫 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔳𝔦𝔫 𝔣𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯. ━ 𝔬𝔯 ━ 𝔦𝔫 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔬𝔫 𝔠𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔪𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔨 𝔱𝔬 𝔏𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢, ℑ𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔬𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔞 𝔯𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔰. ━ i do not own harry potter or tim allen's santa clause. there will be mpreg and foul language. harry is in his sixth year at hogwarts. i would also rate this book rated-r. ━ #5 bernard (11/30/21) #1 charliecalvin (3/22/21) #1 scottcalvin (5/15/21) #2 malebreastfeeding (5/15/21) #1 nekoharry (10/11/21)