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FAKE NEWS AND ALTERNATIVE FACTS

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Parts 26
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Reads 105
Votes 0
Parts 26
Time 1h 2m

absurd althistory bathroom beer bigfoot bizarre bullshit country dumb florida lampoon nonsense parody politics president redneck sasquatch satire serial southern strange stupid talltales twisted

INTRODUCTION

HOWDY, Y'ALL!  I'M THE RIGHT HONORABLE RANTIN N. RAVEN-FAUX VI, MAYOR OF MYASSA.  

WELCOME TO MYASSA!  PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!  SET YOURSELF DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.  WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOMETHING TO DRINK?  SOME NICE WARM GERBIL OR BUTTOX MILK?  A COOL SLICE OF PENGUIN MERINGUE PIE FROM THE HONEY-BAKED HAMSTER HALF HOUSE?  HOW ABOUT SOMETHING SWEET?  THE RIGHT HONORABLE SPOUSE JUST GOT HOME FROM MYASSA FUDGEPACKER'S #2 BACKDOOR OUTLET WITH CHOCOLATE AND FROM THE NO FOODS MARKET WITH SOME MUTANT GREEN TWINKIES.

DON'T LET THE SPORADIC GUNFIRE PUT YOU OFF.  WE SUPPORT THE SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT TO BEAR FIRE ARMS.  WITH THE WAY OUR GOVERNMENT IS HEADING, WE'RE GOING TO NEED OUR GUNS TO DEFEND OURSELVES FROM SUPPORTERS OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT.

DID YOU SEE THE IMMENSE DAMAGE DONE BY HURRICANE IRMA AS YOU CAME INTO TOWN? NEITHER DID WE.  WHAT A COLOSSALLY DISAPPOINTING UNHURRICANE!

FEEL FREE TO WALK AROUND MYASSA.  IT'S BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR, WITH THE BEGGAR LOUSE AND SAND SPUR CROPS IN BLOOM.  BUT BE VERY CAREFUL TO KEEP MOVING IN THE MYASSA NATIONAL OLD GROWTH KUDZU FOREST.  A LOT OF TOURISTS STOP TO LOOK AROUND AND ARE ENTWINED TO DEATH EVERY YEAR.  

PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I TEND TO MAYOR STUFF.  ENJOY YOUR STAY.Creative Commons (CC) Attribution

absurd althistory bathroom beer bigfoot bizarre bullshit country dumb florida lampoon nonsense parody politics president redneck sasquatch satire serial southern strange stupid talltales twisted

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Night Rider by Hermione_Hofferson

Night Rider - A httyd and Hiccstrid book. -Astrid's pov- 8 years. That's how long it has been. 8 lonely, cold, devastating years of my life that I will never get back. Every night I dream the same dream - every night the same day returns to haunt me over and over. That day dramatically changed my life for the worst. Why did that day happen? Everyone learnt to leave me in peace in the morning. Everyone knew my deepest, darkest secret that changed people's opinions of me forever. Everyone knew my arch enemy, but only 2 people know why he is my arch enemy. My friends still talk to me, just not in the same way as they used to - it's almost as if they are scared of me, or don't want to be associated with me. One day I want this to change. One day I want my life to turn around. One day I will truely be me again. One day I will be happy. One day I will be free. I cannot see that day in the forseeable future, but I know it will come, and I know somehow it is connected to my enemy. *I know that it is an over-used story line but I tried to spice it up a little. Kinda like how you may always eat a Chicken Masala and then you try a Vindaloo - they're both food and both curries but one is different from the other* There are extra chapters at the end containing side-stories of this book. It will make more sense when you read the chapter titled: 'The little boat' near the end of the book, but the actual story is 60 chapters long.

Guns and Roses | ✔ by Trina_K

(Original Version) My cousin and I are the only true bloods left in the Thanos Family. I'm eighteen now and my absent father decided to finally take responsibility of having another child. Moving from New York to California wasn't the hard part. The hard part was trying to find the ones who murdered my mother and my grandparents, pretending to be a normal high schooler, and along with that, fighting my feelings for one of my brother's best friends. Didn't I mention that I am also going to be the new Don of our West Coast Empire? I am Gaiana Kallisto Thanos, Mafia Princess, and the best fucking fighter there is. This is book one of the Mafia Duet. WARNING: 18+ Mature scenes and language. _________________________________________ EXCERPT: "I only give respect to those who deserve it, and the only one in this room that deserves it is Alex. Plus you can't call me a slut when you are the one who loves to constantly have her bed warmed with partners. I'm the one in a stable relationship." She gave a smirk. "You sure about that," she asked. She took her phone out and showed me a photo of Luca dressed in what he wore today, escorting Stephany into the passenger seat of his car. I felt my heart drop to my stomach but didn't outwardly show it. Years of being able to turn off my emotions come in handy. "Well there goes that." I looked into her eyes. "What? Did you expect me to drop to the floor and cry? Honey, you don't know me. And you never will because I'm moving out." I looked at my father and said, "It was nice meeting you but I'm good. I'll pack my stuff and be out by tonight." _________________________________________ Start: March 30, 2018 End: August 31, 2018 Copyrighted 2018

This Is What I'm Good At {Adopted By @CommanderALFA} by purpleleemon

Sadly, I really don't have the motivation to continue this story any longer. I know a lot of you have been wanting to read more of it, and I sincerely apologize for not being able to deliver. The good news is, someone has offered to adopt the story and continue where I left off. If you wish to continue reading this, you may look for it in the profile of @CommanderALFA ••••••••••○○○○○•••••••••• Modern HTTYD AU wherein Hiccup-... Henry, joins a private army after leaving Berk for being, how he was always called his entire life, a runt, a hiccup, a disgrace. After being recruited, he meets amazing new friends and quickly becomes one of the organization's best. But Berk is in trouble. And now, Hiccup's conflicted. He ran away from Berk to start a new life, but...deep down, does he actually miss the town? Does he miss the people who tormented him? He doesn't believe it himself, but...maybe he does. How long will Hiccup be gone? Will Berk be safe and find a new heir? And what about Astrid? Did she forget about him, or did she just remember him even more? --------------------------------------- Disclaimer: I don't own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise, nor Rise of the Guardians, Frozen, Brave, Tangled, or Big Hero 6. Those rights go to their respective owners, both DreamWorks and Disney. Any names I come up with are completely made for this story and should they accidentally be the name of an actual person in the real world is completely coincidental.

WAR by SylviaHorseGirl

My name is Ray. I was born in a 100 year war. My life goal is to win this war. There are two sides to this war. I am on neither side. Feet pounding, Heart racing, I run. Screams light the night air. Gun shots. Bullets fly across the sky. I reach an alley. My hands shake. Tears fell from my eyes. "You are more powerful than you know." my mothers words come back to me. "Harder! Stronger!" Father pushed me until I got it perfect. "Alright" I whisper to myself in this bloody 100 year battle. "You are strong. You are powerful. You got this." I wait until I hear someone walk past the alley. I sneak up on them. SNAP! I snap their neck easily. I smile to myself, and grab this man's gun, and knife. I dash away from the sound of battle. If I can make it to my fathers breeders, or even the stable, I have a good chance to live. Only if...... I don't let my mind finish that thought. Bell WILL be alive. she has to be. her pups can win this everlasting War.

𝔪𝔶 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 ━ 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭./𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔠. by pxtterslatte

❝𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲, 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧'❞ -𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫 ━ 𝔦𝔫 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔳𝔦𝔫 𝔣𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯. ━ 𝔬𝔯 ━ 𝔦𝔫 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔬𝔫 𝔠𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔪𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔨 𝔱𝔬 𝔏𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢, ℑ𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔬𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔞 𝔯𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔰. ━ i do not own harry potter or tim allen's santa clause. there will be mpreg and foul language. harry is in his sixth year at hogwarts. i would also rate this book rated-r. ━ #5 bernard (11/30/21) #1 charliecalvin (3/22/21) #1 scottcalvin (5/15/21) #2 malebreastfeeding (5/15/21) #1 nekoharry (10/11/21)

cavities - a countryhumans one-shot book by wheezymichael

a sickeningly sweet one-shot book probably to be filled with amerus, but i can take requests for other ships this is for me to vent out and also just get my ideas on paper before they leave me. i don't do smut, only fluff and other stuff, hence the name. requests are open :) i'll try not to give much angst, because i too would like some fluff at times. #1 countryhumanrusame - july 4th, 2020 #3 countryhumansrusame - july 9th, 2020 #2 countryhumansships - august 30th, 2022 #1 shiponeshots - august 7th, 2020 #5 amerus - june 9th, 2022 #1 countryhumansoneshots - may 11th, 2021 #1 americaxjapan - april 16th, 2021 #1 amepan - april 16th, 2021 #3 gerpol - april 16th, 2021 #3 countryhumansrusger - april 16th, 2021 #1 countryhumansgerpol - june 2nd, 2021 #49 rusame - november 27th, 2021 #86 countryhumans - august 11th, 2022

Beyond the City Lights by EvelynMuoz0

***"Scream if you find anything" He says "I have my- "I begin to say realizing my gun was no longer with me. "Yeah I took your gun when we came here" I swear under my breath before entering the shed to change because it's cold and I don't want to be naked in front of a stranger. "Stupid wolf-man" I mumble slipping into my jeans. "I can hear you" I roll my eyes before coming outside. "You forgot the shoes" I look down at my bare feet. When I look up he was walking to I don't know where. I had to jog to keep up with him. "Where are- -we going?" He stops making me collide with his back. "You'll see" I fix the hair that smacked my face.*** Preview The rules for Morgan are simple: Don't let your feelings get in the way of what is really happening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4QnuPKciys ***Chapter 10 is available** 11-20 are private! Ranked #385 for Werewolves and Vampires!!!!! https://www.wattpad.com/story/143216812-beyond-the-city-lights-overcoming-the-darkness (Book TWOOOOO)

"My Little Monster~"|| Selever X Reader [DISCONTINUED] by lazyazz_bijj

Hello! This is my first book so there will probably be some Errors but i'll try my best to fix it. Also English is not my native language so pardon my bad grammar😅😅😅 . Anyway here are some keywords: (Y/N) = Your Name (L/N) = Last Name (H/C) = Hair Colour (H/L) = Hair Length (F/C) = Favourite Colour (S/F/C) = Second Favourite Colour (F/F) = Favorite Food (F/D) = Favourite Drink (F/S) =Favourite Sweet (B/N) = Brother's Name (M/N) = Mother's Name (F/N) = Father's Name __________________________________________________________________________________ You're on college btw and (Y/N) is female. here's a peek at my book. _________________________________________It was a sunday morning and you were making lunch for you and you're roommates. Suddenly you got a call from the headmaster saying that you and your roommates would be having a new roommate and that they would be arriving after lunch. ~Time Skip~ You were playing video games on the couch when you heard a knock on the door. You were confused on why there were knocking on the door because it was Sunday and most of the students were out doing god knows what. Then you suddenly remembered that the headmaster told you that you were having a new roommate today. You opened the door and you see a cute half human half demon boy. "Oh! You must be our new roommate. Nice to meet you, My name's (Y/N) (L/N)." You introduced yourself. "Sup cutie. The names Selever nice to meet you." ............... That's all folks! If you want more of this story, I suggest you read this book. Edit: Just a fair warning. Some chapters may have been jumbled Because of an error so please check the chapters before you read them please.

Who You Share it With (Willy Wonka x reader) by JustSomeCoffee2910

"She's been here all along, Willy." "And so have you." You've met a man. A magic man. Strange; charming; peculiar. Though, he somehow managed to get in between a rock and a hard place not one day into town. Just as swiftly as he had entered, he became stuck in a trap that you'd been caught in for years. While it was tempting to leave it at that, you decided to aid him in his ideas and wild crusades. Something about his talent was exactly what you needed to escape. To live your life. And maybe... live your dreams as well. (Willy Wonka x reader) -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ Highest Rankings (as of whenever I added this): #1 in noodle #1 in timothee #1 in willywonkaxreader #1 in 2023 #1 in wonka2023 #1 in willyxreader #2 in wonkaxreader #3 in chocolate #14 in chalamet -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ Hey! Just an added note: I enjoy reading constructive criticism and feedback - it's actually encouraged. Please don't steal my ideas; this may not be my movie (obviously), but making scenes that look similar to the original ones I made - in any way other than accidentally, or just outright taking my writing is not appreciated. I hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful time reading my book!

He Has Never Lied to YOU! by JimWilliams6

Tall tales from Myassa, Florida, United States of A Merka. The stories here are not presented chronologically. Myassa is not chronological, nor is it particularly geographical, just "north Florida". You can't touch it but you can taste it. It's nowhere but you can always get there from here. You never see it coming and you never have to leave. You won't be alone because Myassa is open all night, every night. You unlock this door through the myth of Myassa. Beyond it is another demention: a demention of stupid, a demention of sight gags, a demention of mind farts. You're moving into a land both shallow and sophomoric, of alt history and ironies. You've just crossed over into... The Myassa Zone. "Where you're past is our future." From the introduction to volume one.

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Slide 1 of 10

Night Rider cover

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This Is What I'm Good At {Adopted By @CommanderALFA} cover

𝔪𝔶 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 ━ 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔭./𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔠. cover

cavities - a countryhumans one-shot book cover

Beyond the City Lights cover

"My Little Monster~"|| Selever X Reader [DISCONTINUED] cover

Who You Share it With (Willy Wonka x reader) cover

He Has Never Lied to YOU! cover

Night Rider

Night Rider - A httyd and Hiccstrid book. -Astrid's pov- 8 years. That's how long it has been. 8 lonely, cold, devastating years of my life that I will never get back. Every night I dream the same dream - every night the same day returns to haunt me over and over. That day dramatically changed my life for the worst. Why did that day happen? Everyone learnt to leave me in peace in the morning. Everyone knew my deepest, darkest secret that changed people's opinions of me forever. Everyone knew my arch enemy, but only 2 people know why he is my arch enemy. My friends still talk to me, just not in the same way as they used to - it's almost as if they are scared of me, or don't want to be associated with me. One day I want this to change. One day I want my life to turn around. One day I will truely be me again. One day I will be happy. One day I will be free. I cannot see that day in the forseeable future, but I know it will come, and I know somehow it is connected to my enemy. I know that it is an over-used story line but I tried to spice it up a little. Kinda like how you may always eat a Chicken Masala and then you try a Vindaloo - they're both food and both curries but one is different from the other There are extra chapters at the end containing side-stories of this book. It will make more sense when you read the chapter titled: 'The little boat' near the end of the book, but the actual story is 60 chapters long.