FAKE NEWS AND ALTERNATIVE FACTS - Jim Williams - Wattpad

FAKE NEWS AND ALTERNATIVE FACTS

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Parts 26
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Reads 105
Votes 0
Parts 26
Time 1h 2m

absurd althistory bathroom beer bigfoot bizarre bullshit country dumb florida lampoon nonsense parody politics president redneck sasquatch satire serial southern strange stupid talltales twisted

INTRODUCTION

HOWDY, Y'ALL!  I'M THE RIGHT HONORABLE RANTIN N. RAVEN-FAUX VI, MAYOR OF MYASSA.  

WELCOME TO MYASSA!  PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!  SET YOURSELF DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.  WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOMETHING TO DRINK?  SOME NICE WARM GERBIL OR BUTTOX MILK?  A COOL SLICE OF PENGUIN MERINGUE PIE FROM THE HONEY-BAKED HAMSTER HALF HOUSE?  HOW ABOUT SOMETHING SWEET?  THE RIGHT HONORABLE SPOUSE JUST GOT HOME FROM MYASSA FUDGEPACKER'S #2 BACKDOOR OUTLET WITH CHOCOLATE AND FROM THE NO FOODS MARKET WITH SOME MUTANT GREEN TWINKIES.

DON'T LET THE SPORADIC GUNFIRE PUT YOU OFF.  WE SUPPORT THE SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT TO BEAR FIRE ARMS.  WITH THE WAY OUR GOVERNMENT IS HEADING, WE'RE GOING TO NEED OUR GUNS TO DEFEND OURSELVES FROM SUPPORTERS OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT.

DID YOU SEE THE IMMENSE DAMAGE DONE BY HURRICANE IRMA AS YOU CAME INTO TOWN? NEITHER DID WE.  WHAT A COLOSSALLY DISAPPOINTING UNHURRICANE!

FEEL FREE TO WALK AROUND MYASSA.  IT'S BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR, WITH THE BEGGAR LOUSE AND SAND SPUR CROPS IN BLOOM.  BUT BE VERY CAREFUL TO KEEP MOVING IN THE MYASSA NATIONAL OLD GROWTH KUDZU FOREST.  A LOT OF TOURISTS STOP TO LOOK AROUND AND ARE ENTWINED TO DEATH EVERY YEAR.  

PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I TEND TO MAYOR STUFF.  ENJOY YOUR STAY.Creative Commons (CC) Attribution

absurd althistory bathroom beer bigfoot bizarre bullshit country dumb florida lampoon nonsense parody politics president redneck sasquatch satire serial southern strange stupid talltales twisted

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The Tattoo | Maze Runner | Gally x Reader by CrankThatWICKEDWolf

SERIES DISCONTINUED :C I wanted to write a Gally x reader story because Gally gets a lot of hate sometimes and he's underrated :/ Some of this will be my own little AU of what I believe are the sexualities of the characters, gender identities, including my own characters with LGTBQIA+ aspects, including some characters who survive. This is my story, and I hope you enjoy it :) ----------------------------------------------- RELATIONSHIP TYPE: Enemies To Lovers ----------------------------------------------- CHARACTER IMPERFECTION: God Complex ----------------------------------------------- "Hey, Gal!" You chirp, spinning on your heel. "Hey, that was cool." His eyebrows raise in slight surprise, now letting reality sink in that you are actually his girl. And this is what he has to deal with. "Wow, you really are hyper today." "You said it!" You grin. You feel so much energy going through you after good nights of sleep, well. Goodnights as best as you can get. "Here, take this." He hands you something and you start turning it in your hand almost immediately after receiving it. Looking down at it curiously to see some sort of wooden turn. It's kind of like the door handles, or a rower for a fishing rod. Except it's only the handle for a fishing rod. No rod or line. So it's basically just a fidgety piece of wood. You start turning both sides, spinning it around in your hand. "Easy there." Gally chuckles. He steps closer to you, rubbing his arm up and down your back to soothe you. "You doing okay?" "Yep." You chirp, grinning up at him. He double-checks your expression. His eye staring into yours to see how you're feeling. When he's sure you're not too stressed out, he removes his arm from you and throws a rag over his shoulder. "Okay, stick by me. Ya hyper little bunny..." I obviously do not own Maze Runner or the characters, that belongs to James Dashner :) Start Date: 13/08/21 End Date: 11/09/21

W.E.L.F.S: The Snake's Eye (COMPLETED) by Naumaan333

"I saw you and you were just standing there. I started walking towards you and you-just-just stood there." Stuttered Stiles. "I tapped on your shoulder and you turned around. You didn't answer me. You didn't even notice I was there. You just stared at something, something that wasn't visible and y-you-" Paused Stiles, whose legs were vibrating and he started to breathe heavily. "And I what?" I asked trying to get the words out. "You died." He stated. "What?" Asked I, like he had just said the most craziest thing ever. It was slightly humorous. He had to be joking, I thought to myself. "You- just died." Murmured Stiles, who had stopped shaking and had stood up. -------------- The world consists of many parallel multiverses. Each separate and unique. We all know Earth 1, yet not many people are familiar to the lost planet, Earth 1000. The planet was Imperium; Declared the most powerful, biggest rogue planet of the multiverse- many people sought out to rule it. Therefore a war was sparked. Some people say, that the planet birthed death because of the deadly war. However, something else was birthed, an heir. Her name was Milia. She possessed true power and ultimately ended the war. Milia ruled the world and her children became the inevitable successors. Although they lacked Milia's gift, the future generation, though it was thousand's of years later contained Milia's powers. The children were named the true heir, therefore they were hunted. No hunter was more well known than the bitch, the baddest; Methaya. Being half human, half snake, her luminescent eyes turned the living into the inanimate. To save her children, the Queen of the planet rifted her children into Earth, where they lived for 500 years, unaware of their cursed destiny. After a prophecy declaring that the oldest would die, the truth started unravelling and they learnt things- that would change things forever. Genre: Mystery, Fiction and Fantasy Warning: it does contain cuss words.

WAR by SylviaHorseGirl

My name is Ray. I was born in a 100 year war. My life goal is to win this war. There are two sides to this war. I am on neither side. Feet pounding, Heart racing, I run. Screams light the night air. Gun shots. Bullets fly across the sky. I reach an alley. My hands shake. Tears fell from my eyes. "You are more powerful than you know." my mothers words come back to me. "Harder! Stronger!" Father pushed me until I got it perfect. "Alright" I whisper to myself in this bloody 100 year battle. "You are strong. You are powerful. You got this." I wait until I hear someone walk past the alley. I sneak up on them. SNAP! I snap their neck easily. I smile to myself, and grab this man's gun, and knife. I dash away from the sound of battle. If I can make it to my fathers breeders, or even the stable, I have a good chance to live. Only if...... I don't let my mind finish that thought. Bell WILL be alive. she has to be. her pups can win this everlasting War.

The Golden Soldier (Call of Duty: WW2 Fanfiction) by brontideandsough

Avaline Baker is a young woman on a camping trip with friends when she decides to go into a museum that will change her life forever. Somehow transported into the future, Ava finds herself at the barrel tip of Nazi German soldier. Transported to their camp as prisoner, Ava is lost and confused as to what, where, and who she is with...the how part is the most antagonizing. Shortly after being saved by two American men, Ava discovers she's been placed at the center of World War Two. Surrounded by warfare and American men who have strict mindsets about women in the the 1940's, the 21-year-old feels like she has no hope of surviving. To even have a chance, Ava has to prove that just because she's a woman, doesn't mean she isn't capable of fighting to survive like the rest of them. Ava finds herself stuck in 1944, with "strange" technology called a cell phone, no way of charging it, and no way of getting home. In the midst of a gruesome and horrifying war, she finds herself questioning more than just sanity of the time period, but even her own. Hopefully, with careful and calculating steps, Ava will survive the blistering cold winters, the first-hand experience of a war, and developing a difficult bond with the men of 1st Platoon. --•--•--•-- This is a work of fan-fiction, which means I don't own practically anything. Except for Aveline Baker and some scenes. Will be based off of/follow the campaign. This work has content pertaining to difficult aspects of WW2 including blood and gore; swearing/harsh language; sexual/crude comments and actions; German POW camps; etc. Please DO NOT READ if you aren't comfortable or have too strong opinions on things related to WW2. It's a fictional story and, thus, should be treated like it. On flip side, there will humor. Especially from Zussman- we all like him. And don't forget moments from hardass Pierson...those will get interesting too. ;) ~Started on September 1st, 2018~ ~Finished September 1st, 2019~

Night Rider by Hermione_Hofferson

Night Rider - A httyd and Hiccstrid book. -Astrid's pov- 8 years. That's how long it has been. 8 lonely, cold, devastating years of my life that I will never get back. Every night I dream the same dream - every night the same day returns to haunt me over and over. That day dramatically changed my life for the worst. Why did that day happen? Everyone learnt to leave me in peace in the morning. Everyone knew my deepest, darkest secret that changed people's opinions of me forever. Everyone knew my arch enemy, but only 2 people know why he is my arch enemy. My friends still talk to me, just not in the same way as they used to - it's almost as if they are scared of me, or don't want to be associated with me. One day I want this to change. One day I want my life to turn around. One day I will truely be me again. One day I will be happy. One day I will be free. I cannot see that day in the forseeable future, but I know it will come, and I know somehow it is connected to my enemy. *I know that it is an over-used story line but I tried to spice it up a little. Kinda like how you may always eat a Chicken Masala and then you try a Vindaloo - they're both food and both curries but one is different from the other* There are extra chapters at the end containing side-stories of this book. It will make more sense when you read the chapter titled: 'The little boat' near the end of the book, but the actual story is 60 chapters long.

Roadtrip?! Hetalia x Reader by That_Weirdo_one

WATTYS 2019 COMPLETED BOOK 1 *Tries to think cool quote from the book* 》"Yeah it really is beautiful" He said. "And now you are supposed to say some cheesy pick-up line" You advised. He chuckled and thought for a moment. "But not as beautiful as you.. Is that cringe enough?"《 (Nailed it) (Y/N) is a country. One day America requests few countries including (C/N) in a meeting.. Somehow they end up in Disney land. Action: Checked✔ Breaking the 4th wall: Checked✔ Romance: Checked✔ 2p's: ..Maybe? Shitty humor: Checked✔ And i think that everybody knows that i don't own Hetalia (Or do i?), you (you belong to the countries) or any of the pictures that i have used! I just own few of my OC's and the story plot.

Beyond the City Lights by EvelynMuoz0

***"Scream if you find anything" He says "I have my- "I begin to say realizing my gun was no longer with me. "Yeah I took your gun when we came here" I swear under my breath before entering the shed to change because it's cold and I don't want to be naked in front of a stranger. "Stupid wolf-man" I mumble slipping into my jeans. "I can hear you" I roll my eyes before coming outside. "You forgot the shoes" I look down at my bare feet. When I look up he was walking to I don't know where. I had to jog to keep up with him. "Where are- -we going?" He stops making me collide with his back. "You'll see" I fix the hair that smacked my face.*** Preview The rules for Morgan are simple: Don't let your feelings get in the way of what is really happening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4QnuPKciys ***Chapter 10 is available** 11-20 are private! Ranked #385 for Werewolves and Vampires!!!!! https://www.wattpad.com/story/143216812-beyond-the-city-lights-overcoming-the-darkness (Book TWOOOOO)

Guns and Roses | ✔ by Trina_K

(Original Version) My cousin and I are the only true bloods left in the Thanos Family. I'm eighteen now and my absent father decided to finally take responsibility of having another child. Moving from New York to California wasn't the hard part. The hard part was trying to find the ones who murdered my mother and my grandparents, pretending to be a normal high schooler, and along with that, fighting my feelings for one of my brother's best friends. Didn't I mention that I am also going to be the new Don of our West Coast Empire? I am Gaiana Kallisto Thanos, Mafia Princess, and the best fucking fighter there is. This is book one of the Mafia Duet. WARNING: 18+ Mature scenes and language. _________________________________________ EXCERPT: "I only give respect to those who deserve it, and the only one in this room that deserves it is Alex. Plus you can't call me a slut when you are the one who loves to constantly have her bed warmed with partners. I'm the one in a stable relationship." She gave a smirk. "You sure about that," she asked. She took her phone out and showed me a photo of Luca dressed in what he wore today, escorting Stephany into the passenger seat of his car. I felt my heart drop to my stomach but didn't outwardly show it. Years of being able to turn off my emotions come in handy. "Well there goes that." I looked into her eyes. "What? Did you expect me to drop to the floor and cry? Honey, you don't know me. And you never will because I'm moving out." I looked at my father and said, "It was nice meeting you but I'm good. I'll pack my stuff and be out by tonight." _________________________________________ Start: March 30, 2018 End: August 31, 2018 Copyrighted 2018

He Has Never Lied to YOU! by JimWilliams6

Tall tales from Myassa, Florida, United States of A Merka. The stories here are not presented chronologically. Myassa is not chronological, nor is it particularly geographical, just "north Florida". You can't touch it but you can taste it. It's nowhere but you can always get there from here. You never see it coming and you never have to leave. You won't be alone because Myassa is open all night, every night. You unlock this door through the myth of Myassa. Beyond it is another demention: a demention of stupid, a demention of sight gags, a demention of mind farts. You're moving into a land both shallow and sophomoric, of alt history and ironies. You've just crossed over into... The Myassa Zone. "Where you're past is our future." From the introduction to volume one.

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Slide 1 of 9

The Tattoo | Maze Runner | Gally x Reader cover

W.E.L.F.S: The Snake's Eye (COMPLETED) cover

The Golden Soldier (Call of Duty: WW2 Fanfiction) cover

Night Rider cover

Roadtrip?! Hetalia x Reader cover

Beyond the City Lights cover

Guns and Roses | ✔ cover

He Has Never Lied to YOU! cover

The Tattoo | Maze Runner | Gally x Reader

SERIES DISCONTINUED :C I wanted to write a Gally x reader story because Gally gets a lot of hate sometimes and he's underrated :/ Some of this will be my own little AU of what I believe are the sexualities of the characters, gender identities, including my own characters with LGTBQIA+ aspects, including some characters who survive. This is my story, and I hope you enjoy it :) ----------------------------------------------- RELATIONSHIP TYPE: Enemies To Lovers ----------------------------------------------- CHARACTER IMPERFECTION: God Complex ----------------------------------------------- "Hey, Gal!" You chirp, spinning on your heel. "Hey, that was cool." His eyebrows raise in slight surprise, now letting reality sink in that you are actually his girl. And this is what he has to deal with. "Wow, you really are hyper today." "You said it!" You grin. You feel so much energy going through you after good nights of sleep, well. Goodnights as best as you can get. "Here, take this." He hands you something and you start turning it in your hand almost immediately after receiving it. Looking down at it curiously to see some sort of wooden turn. It's kind of like the door handles, or a rower for a fishing rod. Except it's only the handle for a fishing rod. No rod or line. So it's basically just a fidgety piece of wood. You start turning both sides, spinning it around in your hand. "Easy there." Gally chuckles. He steps closer to you, rubbing his arm up and down your back to soothe you. "You doing okay?" "Yep." You chirp, grinning up at him. He double-checks your expression. His eye staring into yours to see how you're feeling. When he's sure you're not too stressed out, he removes his arm from you and throws a rag over his shoulder. "Okay, stick by me. Ya hyper little bunny..." I obviously do not own Maze Runner or the characters, that belongs to James Dashner :) Start Date: 13/08/21 End Date: 11/09/21