Me Ranting

So, I'm recovering from and eating disorder, and suicidal thoughts and thoughts of cutting. My friends know about it, but I don't want to bother them with it, and typing stuff out helps because it's slower than writing and I guess it just feels good to rant and not have anyone who knows me discover it. I used to write notes for people, except I'm trying to look up and not down. Those notes were for if I ever died, and I want the rants to be a way of getting everything out but in a less destructive manner. Like if I'm on Wattpad where no one reads my stuff and no one sees, I can complain and feel as awful as I do, but I don't have to have all the are you okay talks, because if I was honest with the people who know me I'd have those nearly everyday. They do help sometimes, but I don't want me feeling like I do to be the base of all of my relationships. I want to try and be helpful too, and have the sort of thing where you talk about useless stuff instead of me crying over text. It's not fair to do that to someone I know, and care about and make them help me all the time, they have their own lives. Their own stuff. They should enjoy it without me dulling the good stuff that happens to them. They deserve that, so here goes nothing. This book will be a place for me to complain and maybe even celebrate little stuff if I feel like it. If your triggered by suicidal thoughts, self harm, bulimia, or anorexia, please don't read. We've all got limits and I don't want people to hurt themselves or get worse with their struggles because of me. Please take care. No one will read this, and it's not for attention but should the random person come across it, warnings are good. I'm publishing because Wattpad deletes the stuff I don't on accident and that wouldn't exactly help. Bye