StarLord origins (Guardians of the Galaxy Fanfiction)

A fine stoner novel for the reality impaired. Follow the adventures of Blaze and his dealer-slash room-mate as they embark on an epic journey to find the planet of space reefer, and perhaps existential enlightenment along the way. Despite being hunted by hitmen, detectives, and Blazes ex-blogger celebrity girlfriend, it will be the bonds of friendship that will be put to the ultimate test. Armed only with a couple of ounces of the galaxies most wicked reefer, their path is guided by the last known kilek (space leprachaun) through the planet of the Gapes, Burning Man 2048, and deep into the giant anus of a long forgotten galactic god creature.
Will Blaze survive the grips of his obsessed ex girlfriend? Will Crunch return to speech impediment stage performance? I don't know... let's find out!