If I Were

If I Were

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When Clara was a child, she wrote stories. She would dream of a life of adventure, and of handsome princes, and of magnificent faeries and elves. That all changed when she grew older. When she was the tender age of nine, she realised just how little she fit into the real world, and other people seemed to feel the same, too. They would single her out, bully her, and shame her for who she was. And so when she moved house and began high school, Clara made an oath to herself. She vowed to become someone better; smarter, prettier and worthier than the girl she had been before. She forced herself to quit daydreaming, and escaping away from the real world, and to live in the now. To make what she had always dreamed of a reality: to become someone people would envy. But when life took an unexpected turn, Clara found herself faced with a reality she couldn't escape. Transported away from the real world and into the land of her childhood stories, she was forced to reconcile with her younger self, and find peace within her identity.
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Before I knew it my shirt was torn away from my torso and tossed on the floor, Charlie's doing the same. Our kiss intensified and I felt him groan against my lips. I swear to god, this boy is making out with me like his life depends on it! And that's when reality punched me in the gut... the words 'this boy' kept running through my head over and over again until it got through the thick fog of vodlka and whatever else was in those stupid drinks. I, Ace Loughty, was kissing a guy. A fucking guy. A fucking straight guy named Charlie Simmons who of course had to be one of the most popular dickheads in Meadow Ridge High. I am so unbelievably fucked. ----- 17 year old Ace Loughty was never one longing to be in the spotlight. In fact, he craved the exact opposite: being left alone. When Ace was 13, the tragic death of his younger sister Eleanor caused him to rapidly gain popularity and pitiful looks. He hated the attention. All of a sudden everyone wanted to be friends with the dead girls brother, they'd promise Ace he would never be alone that they would always be there for him, which he of course knew was untrue, they're all just hungry for attention. Sometime later the school moved onto other drama and gossip, things started to die down and people finally left Ace alone. He moved on with his life, convincing himself he was over Eleanor's death and as quick as the whole thing started, he returned to being lonely, weird, quiet nobody Ace. Just how he liked it. That is until 4 years later when he found himself sprawled out on a bed. With Charlie Simmons hovering over him. Charlie Simmons who was kissing Ace like he would die if he ever dared to stop. Which was all too true. Without kissing Ace, Charlie was as good as dead. *WARNING*: This story will contain themes of severe depression, suicide, abuse and somewhat graphic depiction of self harm. If any of these things may trigger you please rethink reading this story!! Started: January 21st 2020

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