when life let me down....

when life let me down....

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WpMetadataReadLengkap Jum, Feb 6, 2015<5 mins
I have started to see how life works, well almost.. I cannot say that I actually choose to be happy or choose to be sad, it's one of I choose to be strong or I choose to be weak, it isn't hard to be strong and not harder to be weak, but when I think of what is surrounding me I always imagine machines with recording cameras walking around, and when I'm talking to them it feels uncomfortable, those cameras are the people who are living with us in this world, I never thought that I'd ever be weak like this, I never imagined me being at this situation. I feel like I've had enough and what hurt the most is that people are still chasing behind your mistakes, but I also figured out that I am not actually weak, it is because I've been strong all that time and I have just had enough, it's the moment where I fall but if the down is hell so then I've got to hike, even while hiking I know for sure that I will find those stones that falls down the mountain that might let me fall all over again.
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​ I will write my future story in bilingual. I want to force myself to be the person I like. I don't care if other people like me, I just care if they like me. After days of hesitation, I finally settled on the name, and I sat on the toilet thinking about the script God had sent me... ​I can't wait to read the script God sends me and I can't wait to finish it. After writing it, the English audio reading was wonderful. I burst into tears as I listened, and burst into tears as I finished writing. This is very interesting. I always touch myself again and again, always write dreams in my dreams. Whose life is not a dream? ​I am an affectionate and tragic person, and I love this world deeply. Love so deeply, so seriously. God often gives me so much information that my brain feels like it's going to explode and I'm going crazy. I can understand what Vincent van Gogh was doing in the wheat field. When you see everything in the world, dear, you don't care about anything anymore. You only live for your own happiness. People start to distance themselves from you and you become more and more lonely. God, I ask you again and again, why am I stuck in the desert? I want you to answer me, once is not enough, ten times is not enough, a hundred times is not enough, a thousand times is not enough, ten thousand times is not enough! 2025/1/5

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