As It Was {bxb}

"Mom wanted us to make amends with each other. She never stopped talking about how badly she wished we would make up. I think it's time to put the past behind us. If not for our own peace of mind, for her."
I look at the trees behind the funeral home and the cars in the parking lot. So many people showed up to say goodbye to her because she was undeniably the kindest individual most of these people have ever known. A breeze blows, sending a chill over my skin and it doesn't feel real, knowing that she's gone forever. She'll never hug me again. I'll never get to tell her I love her or that I'm grateful for everything she did for me. She did so much.
"That's a little easier said than done." I say, pulling at the neck of my shirt. Instead of relieving my shot nerves, the Xanax is leaving me feeling lightheaded.
"It's been ten years, Evan. Please let it go. I did what I had to do."