She is a fever, longing still

❝ She moves to my ear and whispers the prettiest words. "I love you."

Not impressive huh? That's because you have no idea how much she means it. You have no knowledge of the depth of her words as she says them to me. You won't ever know what it's like to hear her say she loves me and know what it means to her.

That she used to despise the words because they didn't mean anything to her. That the more I used them, the more she used them and learned to understand what it actually means when we say it to each other. That she always says them with an angry undertone, because she hates to undermine her feelings this way.

That she tells me that when I am asleep, just because she wants to say it to me without me hearing it. Because she knows I know the depth of it all. That's also why I'm telling you this. Because no matter how much I explain it - or try to - it will never be enough to show you. You will never know. And it makes me sad for you, even if it also makes me feel very good.

It just means I won't have to share her with you either.

I shouldn't love that as much as I do. ❞