healing my journey
- Leituras 53
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- Capítulos 16
I have been through many toxic relationships, mental illness I had to learn how to live with, bullying and body dysmorphia. This is my healing journal.
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The leaving 11 years on on going stopped up dating for a awhile
The leaving. It was hard, tragic , painful, yet it had to be done, I needed to save my life. I didn't want to start again, this would be the story of finding myself, pulling myself back together, reuniting the happy go lucky youngster I had once been. The shock of leaving took more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I had asked two people to help me move out of the house I had shared with my partner for 8 years, we had been together 23 years in total. The move was done in total secrecy, my partner could never know in advance, it was a very scary time. I had moved various things out of the house and secured a rent on a property nearby. The house I picked was near the School the children went to, and my oldest lad was going to be near his best friend. My Mother told me of the property it was advertised on the web, we both went and had a look, even that was scary, I didn't want to be seen by anyone and became paranoid that I would be caught out. For many months I lived on a new kind of fear, the fear of someone finding out that I planned to leave my abusive partner, though of course no one knew my seemingly happy, funny, generous partner was abusive. Finding the house was one thing, getting the various companies to connect the house and exchanging the information of my current address so they could varify that I was, who I said I was almost drove me mad. The day came to leave, My Mother and a very dear Friend came round as early as possible, we packed as much as we could. This included taking the boys clothes, bedding, toys, stuff from the garden, my stuff. We had 3 cars the packing seem to take all day. By the end we had to get going to be able to unpack, leaving me time to pick up the boys from School and settle them in their new home. I couldn't do it at first,I started to cry then scream, to leave the world I had put so much of my life into, and now in a split second would be leaving was breaking my heart.Concluída
Trauma Ruined My LIfe (The Real-Life Journal Of An Abuser)
It was October 2023, and my now-ex-fiance had moved out of our trailer for good. I decided to end our relationship and thought I had emotionally moved on from them. I was wrong-dead wrong. What followed them moving out was something I could not have ever thought to experience. I began to experience extreme mood swings, controlling behavior, self-esteem issues, and a new-found addiction to alcohol. This was just the tip of the iceberg, as I was constantly flirting with suicide on a daily basis. I could not begin to even tell you about how I went through an emo phase, a "man hoe" phase, and multiple other phases as well due to my deteriorating mental health. I began to document my everyday life after our split through two separate journals over a twelve-month span. This is the true tale of how a breakup brought me to the realization that I was an abuser and that I became the same monster that I swore not to become as a kid. This is how trauma ruined my life, and how it will ruin yours too.Concluída
Family Comes First
Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. ___ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! ____ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021Concluída
My Journey Through Self Love
This is my journey through self love. "I want to unlock the person I really am (through self-love), and not just continue living as the person resulted from the traumas and histories of my past." - My Journey Through Self Love
The Diary of Me
I have marked this story as "completed" but I don't know if it will ever actual be complete. This is my journal, my secrets, my thoughts. This is The Diary of Me.Concluída
The Tortured Soul Suit
Hi, I'm Rachel. 22. Short. Observant. Attractive but not hot. My talents include: fucking myself over, fucking other people over, and scaring people with self-deprecating humor. This was my personal journal from September 2019 through December 2020. It documents my character arc through my junior and half of my senior year of undergrad as I try to understand love, choose a path for my future career, navigate mental health, and endure social and political chaos in the country and the world. I hope that you may be able to take something from this authentic and piercingly ironic journey.Concluída
Diary of an anorexic
I use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.Conclu ída
His Heart to Love
"Been about you, since I met you and imma keep it that way" You're special to me. You're the only one who I wouldn't mind losing sleep for, the only one who I can never get tired of talking to, and the only one who crosses my mind constantly throughout the day. You're the only one who can make me smile without trying, bring down my mood without the intention to and affect my emotions with every action of yours. I can't explain with just words how much you mean to me, but you're the only one I'm afraid of losing and the one I want to keep in my life. So, please don't leave me. ~April 18, 2021 ~July 21, 2021 Rankings: #4 in mentaldisorder 9/16/2021 #6 in highschoolsweethearts 9/16/2021 #38 in urban 9/16/2021 #14 in blacklove 9/16/2021 #5 in angerissues 9/16/2021 #12 in urbanromance 9/16/2021 #3 in bwbm 9/16/2021 #20 in contemporarylit 9/16/2021 #29 in urbanstory 9/16/2021 #2 in africanamerican 9/16/2021Concluída
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