My Battle Wounds

As 8 year old I didn't know what pain was at all. All I knew was all the names of the Barbie family. I thought pain was falling and getting a bruise. Now I know what pain is...not know. But I live in pain.
Today I was crying uncontrollably. It was horrible. But also me just thinking. How I slice my arm like a canvas and a paintbrush. And how I sit on the bathroom with a knife wanting to slice open my neck. I cry, I cry, and I cry. Without trying.
I don't think I have anyone but I do I just got caught onto with my mom dead, my dad in prison, losing friends, being sent away for my problems......I try to stop all of this stupid bullshit but some people think it's easy. Not by telling to "just stop"
It's not that easy
Don't believe me?
Try it for your self.