Help My Unbelief
  • Reads 87
  • Votes 59
  • Parts 7
  • Time 54m
  • Reads 87
  • Votes 59
  • Parts 7
  • Time 54m
Ongoing, First published Oct 08, 2022
It's funny how we try to run away from someone that's always ahead of us. It took me time to realize this and to think of acknowledging it? That took a great deal of strength. To be sincere, how can you just think there's some supernatural being up there to call messiah or whatever you choose? Or can you? To add, even if I wanted to believe, the pain I went through in getting to where I am today won't let me.

Number one question, if He truly exist, why would He let me suffer like that? How am I even sure it's a He and not a She? ma'am Louisa as always, loves saying He has no gender. Is it just me or was there still a "He" in the statement? Whatever, I'm sure if He exists, then He possibly hated me for belonging to the female gender.

Not to boast now, but with my experiences, I've come to realize that if God isn't real, then there's nothing like real.
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"B... Bryce?" I said quietly between my light sobs. He didn't answer me. He looked dangerous. His hands covered in blood, his jaw damaged, his eyes... I didn't know, what exactly I saw in them, but I knew, there was nothing good. I realized, I might be in danger myself. I had no idea of what is going on in his mind. I started walking away, keeping my body close to the wall behind me. I stumbled on some trash, but gained my balance back, never leaving the sight of him - now, a total stranger, in front of me. He slowly followed me, his eyes registering every movement I made. They looked predatory, all his appearance looked like it. Following every movement of his pray. And I knew that pray was me. Some cries left my dry lips. I couldn't hold in anymore of this tension. I turned around and started to run, run away from this place, away from him. Before I could make some steps, I felt my upper arm grabbed strongly. I let out a scream and desperately tried to free myself from his strong grip. Bryce took my other arm and made me face him. My heart dropped in my stomach, as I saw his hard stare. I stopped for a second, but then tried to get myself away from him again. "Stop trying! You are not going anywhere!" I heard his voice, which was said through his clenched teeth. He momentarily turned me around and grabbed my hole upper body and wrapped his strong arms around me, making it impossible to move my hands and myself. I started to scream again, but again, his fast movements stopped me. I felt him squeeze me tighter. He lifted me up from the ground a bit and put his large hand on my mouth. That made my panic rise even more. I was so afraid. I had no idea of what he is going to do with me. Is he going to kill me? I felt his head resting against my head, his breath touching the top of my ear, sending a strong shiver of fear through my body. I couldn't see anything, as my eyes were filled with endless streams of tears.