Ineffable / vkook
- Reads 136
- Votes 12
- Parts 3
Bana yardım elini kimin uzattığını bile göremeyecek kadar aciz bir haldeydim, sadece tek fırsatımı değerlendirip karanlığın içinden bana uzanan o eli sıkıca tuttum. Kalan tüm gücüm ile haykırdıklarımla beraber bedenimden içeri dolan dumanı hissettim. O artık içimdeydi, kanımda fütursuzca geziniyordu ve biz artık bir bütündük.
O an ilginç bir şekilde tüm hastalığım bedenimi terk ettiğini, tamamen iyileştiğimi hissettim. Bedenim yatakla buluştuğu zaman gözlerime binen ağırlık ile derin uykuya daldım. Henüz ne için anlaşma yaptığımı ve sonuçlarını bile bilmezken onun en büyük günahlara sürüklenmeme sebep olacağından haberim yoktu.
En başta azularımın değiştiğini fark ettim. arzuluyordum; Yasak olan her şeyi Tanrı'nın sözlerine karşı gelir gibi her geçen gün daha fazla. Bu arzumu öğrendikleri an beni öldüreceğini bildiğim din adamlarıyla gülümseyerek konuştuğum her günün gecesinde, şehvet kokan yasaklı bedenlerle zevkin doruklarında gezindim.
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