Ranting On Chaos.
- Reads 124
- Votes 7
- Parts 4
Ongoing8m
Last published Tue, Apr 14, 2015
Okay so I have this problem where I have a lot of anxiety and stress. And I know you all are going to be like, "Oh we all have had that. C'mon now." But I mean like this is to the point where I would start throwing up and my hair would turn grey and fall out. And with my anxiety disorder and PTSD and history of depression and this whole damn situation I'm all wrapped up in, it makes stress such a big burden and so much harder to deal with. Anyway, this is my rant book about anything and everything, but mainly nothing. Or some sort of shit that my female teenage brain has thought to be important when it's really not. Enjoy and if I know you, I don't mean to offend anyone.
Love you!
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionComplete
Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story)
Ages 14+ (lesbian concepts and some profanity) This is not your everyday love story, okay? It's not a chick flick either. The events and themes within my pages have meaning, depth, truth-and most of all, reality. You are about to be taken on an adventure about a girl who's life is not like everybody else's. I look like a normal teen girl, I mean, I have hair and two eyes and two hands and feet like everybody else, but I couldn't feel more different. I have two moms, yes. Let's just get that out there before you start reading and close my diary like everyone in my life has shut me out of theirs. All I want is a normal life with normal friends who don't judge me because of my home situation. I don't even remember the last time I went on a sleepover or called somebody my age. I don't mean to be a downer, because it does get better. Life gets better. Struggles are only temporary, I know that now. And by my last words reach your eyes, I've come a long way, and have grown to see potential in myself. I'm sharing this with you because I want to make a difference. I know now that I'm not the only one in the world that feels alone. I've been there, done that, and there's more loneliness to come, but for now, I feel more prepared for it. I know how it feels to sit by yourself at lunch every day and how it feels to watch others go to prom with dates and feel like shit because you don't think you'd even have any friends to go with. Please ready my diary. I am much older now, and much more wiser, and I can't wait for you to realize the potential in yourself, too.Complete
Trash Book of Extra.
Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!Complete
Not me. (2023)
so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.Complete
20 tracks for a beautiful mind
self help book for everyone out there..... 1)cultivating positive thoughts Your thoughts have a huge impacts on your well being. If you want to be in happy mood then you have to see everything from a positive perspective ,in order to find the true happiness in whatever you do. There are so many self care help tips to evolve your Personality,in life you will face a lot of tough situation, tangled ways of life and many more but your good mind set or mentality could be very useful for you to adapt a new skills and personality development. If you allow your mind to stay out from negativity ,or to put all of your energy in doing something better then, That will add some colour to your life.worrying will only maximise the mess of your mind .And truely i have felt that the patience is one of the most important quality in every human being. you can't be happy if you can't bear it with patience when something unusual happens to you. There are many ways through which we can actually developed a positve mind set, do you want to change for better? Let's open these chapters to add some positive vibes in your mood and to uplift , *be your own sunshine. *analyse people around you . *believe in the beauty of having patience . *have clear visions . *be bold enough to raise your voice. and wise enough to shut it too(act according to situation) . *who you are you know this, don't waste your energy in proving yourself. Rather invest your time in evolving your career or dreams. *your passion will always triggers your Actions . *choose wisely whom with you Wanna share your time . *don't be dependent on another person for your Happiness . *your happiness is a your responsibility. *Be kind to others will make you a good human . *your life is already very good be thankful . *take charge of yourself . *be accountable . *be responsible for your own decisions . *don't blame . *be wise .Complete
Saving The Broken
C̺͆O̺͆M̺͆P̺͆L̺͆E̺͆T̺͆E̺͆D̺͆ Started ~ February 13, 2021 Ended ~ April 3, 2021 ~ Re-write ~ May 28, 2021 End ~ August 18, 2021 *************** Disclaimer! This book might not make since at some points. This book does go a bit fast. There is NO HAPPY ENDING. *************** "Wait honey stop!" The lady yelled, but I wasn't gonna stop. I headed for the front door and before I could push it open I felt arms wrap around my waist "Stop" I kept thrashing in his arms "Come on stop, your gonna hurt yourself more" I didn't listen I just kept trying "Keep her arm as still as you can!" Someone yelled and I felt hands grab my right arm and then something prick my skin "Just stop!" Slowly I collapsed in their arms and my eyes shut. Not how this was meant to happenComplete
Love In Boxing Ring
" this all is your fucking fault" all of a sudden I was slammed against my locker,towering over me was my arch enemy 'Sam the Dam'. My head was pounding against the hard surface,I hissed in pain glaring straight to him. He was fuming with anger like a predator ready to attack his prey. He stretched his right hand to grab my neck and placed the left one on my shoulder to keep me still. He lowered his chin to my ear and snarled "you are fucking dead 'Meth' ,if I have a slightest clue of your involvement in this shit, I will hunt you down till your last breath". I was choking on air and my vision was a blur ,for a while I thought I was going to die .Mustering all the courage that I could have found, I yanked him away from me. Mean while I was gasping for the air, that dickhead had his usual cocky smirk. I aimed at him and broke his nose ,blood oozing in droplets" want to mess with me Sammy! , first of all clear your own shit, you son of a bitch! "with that I punched hard-on his lower abdomen while he was still holding his bleeding nose, I left the locker room with a sense of victory. Two competent boxers who can't stand each other for a moment without insulting.... Ultimately fall in love. Man*man gay romance leave if you are homophobic.Complete
Broken Pieces
"I love you" she says and kisses my jaw tenderly. "I love you too baby" I reply stroking her still damp hair. We were sat in a dirty McDonald's car park. We could be sat in a fucking pile of trash and I wouldn't care. Because I would be with her. As long as I'm with her, nothing else matters. -------------------------------------------------------- After all he had known was anger and hatred she was like a breath of fresh air to him. With just one look into her mesmerizing chocolate eyes and one listen to her angelic voice he knew he was ruined. He despised this feeling. He felt helpless. No matter how much he tried to stay away he was drawn to her and he knew he was playing a very dangerous game. Leaving the pain of her past behind her she starts a fresh in a new town with her older brother. Meeting the towns bad boy was not on her agenda but every time she saw him she was intrigued. He was rude and had a terrible attitude, but his eyes didn't show anything but pain which is something she knew all too well. They are complete opposites but have one thing in common. They are both broken, maybe just maybe they could be the cure to each others pain. ⚠️ this story contains mentions of abuse and alcohol so if you are not comfortable with this please do not read my story.Complete
My Teddy
The corner of his mouth tilts upward slightly. I smile again. A smile!? A tiny one, but still. "Hm. So I got you to smile, that's progress, yeah? Can I get your name now?" I ask, swinging my feel a little. He shakes his head shyly, his mouth not moving at all. Geez! Why do I want to hear this dude talk so much? "Okay, that's fine. I can give you a nickname." I offer happily. He looks up from his book, raising his eyebrows. I just stare for a moment. He has nice eyes. Pretty brown chocolate orbs. They remind me so much of....... "Teddy." He shakes his head immediately, frowning. "What, why not? You remind me of my old teddy bear. He was a good listener and he didn't talk much..... just like you." I say softly, tilting my head. He continues to shake his head. I fold my arms, leaning back in my seat. "Yeah, it's definitely sticking. Teddy.....It has a nice ring to it, yeah?" He sighs, the first sound I have ever heard him make. "No." . . . *Jordan* Teddy!? Seriously!? She gave me a fucking NICKNAME!? What the hell does this girl want!? I stuff my hands into my pockets, walking down the busy street. Forget about her. She's just a annoying pretty girl, she'll go away. Everybody does. She HAS to go away. *Spoiler alert*: she doesn't. Don't get close to people or they'll end up getting hurt. That's my mindset. I've been through enough of that. This girl doesn't belong in my world anyway. She's too innocent. *Mature content* {Just a quick update, I am basically rewriting the story. I wrote it when I was in 8th grade and it makes me cringe every time I try to go back and edit it so keep in mind that it'll get better}Complete
Bittersweet
|| COMPLETED || I want to be ready for college, but I'll be leaving everything behind. I don't want to forget my mom, my friends, or the memories made. Then again, I want to move on, run away from the heart break following me. I want to be free, I need to be free. For everything that I know, college could be a restart for highschool. A time where I don't make mistakes or where bad things don't happen, but I know they will. Though focusing on the negative won't lead me anywhere. Sadly though, that's all I ever learned to focus on. Learning things about my family that disgust me, learning about family members I didn't even know existed. It's all new, like morphing into a new body, you have to learn how to control. Sadly I don't know how to control myself, I can't control my emotions. I want to be ready for college, I am. I'll be leaving everything behind, but I need to escape the pain. ☆☆ Disclaimer - Read my first book 'Reality Hits Hard' to understand this book before reading it. This book is also very childish looking back at it, but I hope you guys enjoy it!Complete
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
More detailsContent Guidelines