With Pain Comes Love 3

Seeing my wife in the state she was in has to be the 2nd most painful thing to go through, the first being losing your little princess. I watched her sleeping peacefully, at least she was at peace and not thinking about what we are currently going through. I think the most painful thing about losing someone is that there's no warning, you don't get a chance to say a proper goodbye to them and there's no telling when you'll ever see them again. Death is a thief. - Melo

Before my daughter came into the picture I used to drink and get really drunk. Alcohol has always been a coping mechanism f and my go-to for pretty much every emotion, be it happiness or sadness or even anger... it was always my go-to. But I stopped when I found out I was pregnant and only drank every now and then but never to get drunk. Losing my child has been hard, it's been a struggle I am yet to conquer, if how I also don't know. I've never been able to handle pain easily, for me reality strikes after some time... let's just say I react in a much later stage to pain or trauma. Yes, she was gone but I didn't want to accept it at first and I can't say that I've accepted it now because I haven't still but I'm taking it one day at a time... I've been drinking to ease the pain and not think about her or remember her but that's stupid because every part of this big house reminds me off her. It's been a month since her funeral and I've been drinking excessively. I'm not coping and neither is Melo. I cannot imagine us surviving this one. We just strangers who sleep on the same bed. She didn't deserve to die. She shouldn't have died. - Yaya