Race to Endellion's stash

A story I wrote featuring my nephews' made up clones and a couple other characters of theirs because I wanted to share my love of writing with them. Plot armor abounds because It's a story for my nephews. But I would like to improve it and make it the best it can be so critique is invited.

This story is about the daring retrieval of a force-sensitive child and the kyber crystal she has. Breaking through a Separatist blockade, a handful of clone troopers manage to crash land on the Moon Feren, a moon that has lost its planet due to a supernova destroying it, sending the moon reeling through space until it was caught in the gravitational pull of another planet (Both made up. My knowledge of the Star Wars universe is not the best).

It was thought no one else knew about the force-sensitive child Endellion, but intel is discovered that separatist droids are on their way to collect or kill her!

Swiftly a plan of action must be made to counter the incoming attack and the mostly wounded clones must survive long enough to repair their ships and escape back to the fleet with the force sensitive in tow.

A surprise catches them unawares and some unusual allies are made along the way, one whom no one would expect, and another who's an insert of a personal character needed for some plot reasons I couldn't think of a better way to deal with to make the nephews content concerning future events I hope to one day write.