Still Trying to Breathe
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Laatst gepubliceerd zat, okt. 22, 2022
This is the story that everyone's been waiting for.
Unfiltered. Mentally ill.
This is my life.
"Here it is, a fucking journal, if that's what you want to call this. All my old therapists would be so proud. I don't even know how many times I've tried to start one of these but consistency is really one of my worst qualities. There must be a few momentary collections of thoughts trapped on pages roaming around somewhere from the many times I've picked up a fancy notebook at the store because it looked cute just to take notes on bullshit for 3 weeks and forget about it"
Welcome. Join the chaos.
Alle rechten voorbehouden
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Mother Knows Best
You know how you trauma-dump on your friends and they say, "Omg, that's insane, you should write a book about it!" Well, more people have made that remark to my mother as she exaggerates all her stories, so I took the liberty of taking that advice for myself. I am a writer, after all, and I tend to write out my feelings and trauma to work through it on my own, just to delete it later. But why not make some of those memories that haunt me so much into story form? It's definitely more entertaining. So, you'll find my entire life story, or at least what I remember, here in this book on Wattpad. Each chapter is a real event that occurred in my life, mostly involving my emotionally abusive mother, nearly absent and aggressive father, my runaway older sister, and even a little boy we fostered for a moment. If you're interested or possibly are going through something similar, please read and know that there is hope. I made it out and I am on my healing journey, it is possible.
The Diary of Me
I have marked this story as "completed" but I don't know if it will ever actual be complete. This is my journal, my secrets, my thoughts. This is The Diary of Me.Compleet
The experiment.
They used my vulnerability against me. They used that weapon, to make me accept their stupid idea. And I of course, accepted it, I didn't even know what they were going to do. They tugged and poked and even shoved their disgusting finger in your wound, just to see you cry. To see you change. No pitty in their eyes. They just continue. They drag you around with metal chains, hit you and turn you into a experiment. But I had enough of the tugging, the clawing, the moaning, the crying and pleading for them to stop, but simply feeding them with our pain. They turned me into something, that neither do they know what I am. Their afraid of me, of my reflexes, my strength. I killed a lot of them. They say I have a cold heart, that I don't feel nothing. That's why they call me: Death -----------------------------------------************************************--------------------------------------------- Death. A teen girl, pitch black hair, black eyes, white skin. Her height is 5'8. People are scared of her, not just because of her strength but because of they way she kills. She lived in this hell hole, where they take her to rooms. Examine. Fight. She knows she won't be able to entertain them for long. She decides to run. Soul. Brown hair as mud, blue eyes as the sky. Hight 6'2. Tanned and toned body. Death's best friend in the hell hole they're in, he's as cold as she is. But shows a bit of sympathy. Well... More than her at least. He's been there for her, ever since she entered this place of crap. They're the two most feared. As some people say, they're a perfect couple. Killing. Fighting. Cold hearted creatures. Also known as D and S. Why? That's what your going to find out, joining this adventure with D and S.Compleet
Trash Book of Extra.
Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!Compleet
My Journal
Here's the place I spill my soul and everyday things in my life of being fabulous. Warning this will include: -Funny stories -Sad stories -My opinions -Stuff that's happened in my life -Lots of confusing stuff. Enjoy!Compleet
Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.Compleet
The Blind Werewolf Princess (1st book of Werewolf Series)
I always thought that the streets were a place that I was going to end up at. I always thought that I would end up dead on the streets because of... my disability. I always thought that I would have no family and no one to care about me as I cared for others. And yet, that all changed when she walked into my life. She brought me a family, and to this day, I could not understand why she chose me and not someone else. Not only did she walk into my life, but she also changed it. She changed it for better or worse, and I could not decide which was possible because she and her family were different. They were something much more than what people could see. And I was different. Not only was I blind, but I was also a Princess. I was a princess of this strange group, and I had been hidden away from birth. At the time, I did not know who I was being hidden from, but when I found out who I was hiding from, I was glad that I had been hidden. Because, if I surely had not been hidden, then I would surely have died. _______________________________________ NOTE: IF YOU READ THIS BOOK ON ANY OTHER APP BESIDES WATTPAD THEN IT IS COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. I GAVE NO ONE PERMISSION TO USE MY BOOK AND HAVE NOT POSTED IT ANYWHERE ELSE, SO... YA. REPORT THAT BOOK. Thanks. ~Rissa
To My Dear Ex Boyfriend,
Hey! I know it's been a while since we talked, but I wanted to update you on how it's going! So I wrote this story to let you know what's been going on since our breakup! I hope you enjoy it! Edited Version: In the process of editing the story to remove grammar mistakes and clarify it. Also, I'm adding more details. Please continue to support my story! Thank you all!Compleet
His
I always wondered. If I was doing it right? I also wondered what the point was to all of this. A friend of mine told me that I just needed to "start fresh. A new start, with new friends And a new home. Start again. A second chance" I wondered what he meant by a second chance. But I did not think on it long I went home, unpacked and did what I was told. So... Dear journal, this was his idea too. Write it all down he said. What could possibly go wrong?
You don't know me
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
You know how you trauma-dump on your friends and they say, "Omg, that's insane, you should write a book about it!" Well, more people have made that remark to my mother as she exaggerates all her stories, so I took the liberty of taking that advice for myself. I am a writer, after all, and I tend to write out my feelings and trauma to work through it on my own, just to delete it later. But why not make some of those memories that haunt me so much into story form? It's definitely more entertaining. So, you'll find my entire life story, or at least what I remember, here in this book on Wattpad. Each chapter is a real event that occurred in my life, mostly involving my emotionally abusive mother, nearly absent and aggressive father, my runaway older sister, and even a little boy we fostered for a moment. If you're interested or possibly are going through something similar, please read and know that there is hope. I made it out and I am on my healing journey, it is possible.
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