Toska | Stucky, CA:TWS

Unedited - started: 29/10/22 - now

TOSKA - Noun
A dull ache of the soul; a sick pining; a spiritual anguish; a deep desperation for something/someone that one can not have.
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What happens after Steve Rogers falls off that Helicarrier in Captain America: The Winter Soldier?
Lost in the horror that is his mind, Barnes tries to free himself from the prison which is his life. Being a wanted criminal, he's hiding from every government, SHIELD, HYDRA, and, especially, that awfully familiar blonde man on the bridge.
But what happens once that man and him meet once again?
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warnings:
This story includes topics such as the following:
-Self harm
-Suicidal thoughts
-Negative thoughts
-forgetting things
-triggers
//big triggers (such as sh) will be said at the start of each chapter//
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side note:
Bucky has some voices in his head. The main ones are: -HYDRA commanders, who call him 'soldier';
-'The Winter Soldier', who helps him keep hidden, but he also takes control sometimes (eg. when he has a bad episode where he hurts people without meaning to);
-and just a regular voice in his head which is his guilt and hatred for himself.

Also, some mental illnesses Bucky has are these:
~Depression
~Suicidal
~Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
~Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
~+ more
:(
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This is a mlm romance btw, with mainly Depressed!Bucky and Comforting!Steve
tag places
#229 queer = 31/10/22
#196 queer = 1/11/22