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I miss Taylor so much. I got reminded the other day of those times we used to be so close, like too close for it to be fine. There has never been good with Taylor when I think about it. Maybe I'm just afraid of those feelings I get... I've tried to forget them but obviously I can't... I hate to bring it out like this but we had a great time a few years ago at the beginning of me & Chad's start of the surprising long relationship we had/have. I really thought it was the end thought, I'm glad it wasn't. Taylor were so sweet and different from now, I never thought of him that way at all like I did then. I guess he just were at the right place in the right time. I'm afraid to write this all down but I feel like it's a must, but where to start??? I wanna write a book about him but I also wanna lock all these thoughts away I THOUGHT I ALREADY DID!