meaningless words to fill empty space

TW// suicide, self-harm, substance abuse, emotional and physical abuse, intrusive thoughts, any phobia you can think off, fomo and fobi, school, homophobia, racism, abelism, transphobia, rejection, failure, self-hatred more like self-loathing, dismorphia, disphoria, night terrors and sleep paralysis, drowning, disociating, death, living and anything i forgot to mention

sometimes saying hello is harder than goodbye. before you say hello, you can almost see the ending happening. it gets to the point where there is no point leaving your room. no point in trying in school or trying to make friends because you know in a matter of a short couple months, they will leave like everyone else. they will use you and throw you away like a forgotten toy.

i am apologizing in advance because i know people will find my words demented and cruel. perhaps maybe even injust. but here's the thing, i don't care what you all think. i am only doing this because i need an outlet for all these words and rhymes spiriling inside my head. to be honest, all i really want is for someone to be able to relate to my words. then again, no one can. no one can truly understand because i write from my experiences and mine alone. yes this is a bit depressing, i am a pessimist after-all, but i will hold a singular sliver of light in my cold heart and that is you find consolation in my meaningless words.

anyway, enjoy i guess.