nemesism // spencer reid angst

nemesism (n.): frustration, anger, or aggression directed inward toward oneself and one's way of living

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Spencer Reid has never had it easy. He struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder and autism on a daily basis, masking at work so his colleagues don't see him as weak. It seemed like an impenetrable plan; pretend at work, hide his true identity.

But after years of bottling up emotions, he picked up several unhealthy coping mechanisms. Not long after he became clean from Dilaudid, he returned to his oldest-learned mechanism; self-harm. Spencer simply replaced one addiction with another.

After several weeks of worrying behavior and an especially triggering case, Derek Morgan ends up driving Spencer back to his apartment. He asks to stay the night to make sure his friend would be okay, and Spencer regrettably agrees. And then his whole world is turned upside-down.

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This story could be very triggering and includes graphic scenes of self-harm along with suicidal ideation, depression, ocd, ptsd, nightmares, meltdowns + sensory overload, and generally very heavy themes, so please read with caution.

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cross-posted on ao3, same username

updates are sporadic as I am in college right now, but I have all intentions to finish this story!