nemesism // spencer reid angst - saradactyl - Wattpad

nemesism // spencer reid angst

Reads 11,826
Votes 264
Parts 26
Time 8h 29m

Reads 11,826
Votes 264
Parts 26
Time 8h 29m

Mature

nemesism (n.): frustration, anger, or aggression directed inward toward oneself and one's way of living

~~~~

Spencer Reid has never had it easy. He struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder and autism on a daily basis, masking at work so his colleagues don't see him as weak. It seemed like an impenetrable plan; pretend at work, hide his true identity.

But after years of bottling up emotions, he picked up several unhealthy coping mechanisms. Not long after he became clean from Dilaudid, he returned to his oldest-learned mechanism; self-harm. Spencer simply replaced one addiction with another.

After several weeks of worrying behavior and an especially triggering case, Derek Morgan ends up driving Spencer back to his apartment. He asks to stay the night to make sure his friend would be okay, and Spencer regrettably agrees. And then his whole world is turned upside-down.

~~~~

This story could be very triggering and includes graphic scenes of self-harm along with suicidal ideation, depression, ocd, ptsd, nightmares, meltdowns + sensory overload, and generally very heavy themes, so please read with caution. 

~~~~

cross-posted on ao3, same username

updates are sporadic as I am in college right now, but I have all intentions to finish this story!All Rights Reserved

26 parts

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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒 ; spencer reid ¹ by maiamaiacrocodile

❝spencer, all this week you've been holding my hands. what about your germ thing?❞ ❝you were more important.❞ hazel finley is a liar. but she's a damn good one. and she's especially good at telling when other people are lying. she's the newest member at the bau, and a combination of baked goods, serial killer scrabble, and wicked poker skills has everyone in love with her. problem is, fin's got a habit of leaving people when they get too close. trust scares her. spencer reid is a genius. he spends his days reading, working, and drinking shit coffee with half a ton of sugar. his life is the same every morning. until he meets fin. he's never met someone who cares about what he has to say like she does. and he's determined to find out what hides behind her eyes. fin won't let him in that easily. and spencer won't give up without a fight. [criminal minds original fanfiction] [spencer reid x fem! oc] [seasons 3-5] [book 1] spanish translation courtesy of @laundrieds highest ever rankings as of 11/6/24: #1 - jenniferjareau #1 - profiling #1 - psychology #2 - criminal #2 - sexualtension #3 - matthewgraygubler #3 - mgg #4 - criminalminds #4 - emilyprentiss #4 - morgan #5 - fbi #6 - rossi #10 - drreid

Quiet as a Mouse || Abused Spencer Reid by Brody_Allen9

Spencer Reid was fine. It didn't matter that his coworkers were starting to notice things about him., things he's been trying to hide in plain sight for years. And yeah, perhaps his boyfriend (who they hadn't even known about) gets a bit angry sometimes, but that's only natural if you have to deal with someone like him for a long period of time. And he's the first person who's stuck around. So Spencer is fine. Absolutely, unconditionally fine. Only the stray bruises, staring into space and flinching at every unpredictable movement or sound are there to say otherwise. Warnings: graphic physical / psychological abuse in most chapters, non-graphic sexual abuse, slight gun violence in chapter 7 related to a case, PTSD symptoms and flashbacks, graphic depictions of injuries, an alphabet of manipulation tactics and the such, implied / referenced minor eating disorder (he doesn't have the best eating habits), plus negative self-talk from our poor Pretty Boy. This ended up being a lot more psychologically disturbing than I imagined, so please please proceed with caution. If you're not in the right headspace right now, be careful if you still choose to read this. Fun fact, I was listening to the full album of Everywhere at the End of Time for the most part while writing this. That might have contributed to the style lol BOOK TWO OUT ON JUNE 18!!! If you enjoyed this, please consider reading that, too :)

a hellacious miracle by juliagubler

while dealing with a drug addiction, spencer reid decided to take his own life, as what he thought would be an escape from his pain. two years later, when on a case, the team thinks they've found their beloved boy genius, but he is far from the man they once knew. could a miracle have happened on that traumatic night? and if so, is it a miracle from heaven or a miracle from hell? ⚠️ TW: - death - suicidal thoughts and actions - self-harm - homicide - kidnapping and torture - drug use and addiction in general - this story is dark. so, if you're in a bad place with mental health or if any of the mentioned trigger warnings may affect you - please don't risk reading this story. the last thing i would want is my writing negatively affecting someone's mental health! and if nobody has told you yet today, i love and appreciate you and am so, so glad you are here <333 ALSO this story moves fast because i'm an impatient motherfucker (it's a semi-tolerable plot though... so enjoy bbys!)

Criminal Minds Series Rewrite: Season Two by queenofdeansbooty

Now that you understand your place in the team, you work day in and day out to capture the bad guys and give justice fo those who seek it. However, something traumatic from your past is brought back into your life, and you don't know who you are all of a sudden. How can you do a good job when you're breaking apart inside? Most importantly, how can you be there for Spencer when he needs you the most? (I am rewriting Criminal Minds, all fifteen seasons, as if the reader was a part of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. This is a Spencer Reid x Reader fanfiction)

Rambling (Spencer X OC) by Eczlipse_22

"You know I could be some crazy serial killer, and you're just sitting beside me. What if I was insane?" "I could be too, and here you are not moving away, and talking to me anyway." "Touche, but I'm a stranger who you've never seen before, meaning I don't even live in the complex, and yet I'm outside it smoking. I'm more likely to be the psychopath." "Yeah, but you're also about a foot shorter than me, and I definitely outweigh you." A Spencer Reid x OC fanfiction, in which the cute nerdy boy, falls on love with a Sarcastic girl who's fresh out of a toxic relationship. What happens when the two of them fall in love? More importantly, what happens when their relationship begins to fail? Can they make it out as a happy couple?

Just Like the Rain || Spencer Reid x Reader by torturedreiddprtmnt

CRIMINAL MINDS FANFICTION ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* "I'm coiled up like a venomous serpent, tangled in your trance and I'm certain you have got your hooks in me... And just like the rain, you cast the dust into nothing" - "Rain" by Sleep Token ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Haunted by the ghost of trauma after working for the ViCAP unit, the reader is transferred to a new unit in the FBI with hopes of moving forward and never looking back. However, the reader refuses to confront her trauma, leaving her in a whirlwind of pain that she can never seem to get rid of. After meeting a certain genius in the BAU, the reader starts to realize she has feelings for him. Dr. Spencer Reid seems to wash every painful memory away, but the reader won't let herself get close to anyone in fear of the past repeating itself. Will the reader be able to stumble through the storm of pain, grief, and guilt to finally heal so that she can focus on building her own happy ending? Or will she continue building walls around herself in hopes of staying safe, yet keeping everyone she loves out? ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Season 8+ I do not own any Criminal Minds content. This story may not follow the show's exact storylines and other character appearances. **Criminal Minds spoilers for anyone who has not watched the show all the way through** ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* MATURE || 18+ || TRIGGER WARNINGS: Trauma/PTSD, Death, Gun Violence, General Violence, Violence Against Women, Crime, Murder, Crime Scene Descriptions, Law Enforcement Violence, Drug and Alcohol Usage, Sexual Content ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*jk

$Checkmate {Spencer Reid} by sage_storys$

I promise my writing gets better as the chapters go on, much love-S The BAU gets a new team member as everyone is introduced to Fiona Summers, and Spencer automatically falls for her. Not wanting to get hurt again he shuts her out, but warms up to her when he finds out they may not be too different after all. But things quickly take a turn as he discovers they definitely have one thing in common. An addiction. "It's quiet for a couple minutes as Spencer tries to find his way to the bed in the dark. He eventually comes under the covers and I can see his side profile as the room is slightly lit up from the moonlight coming through the windows. He's beautiful. But he's a real dick. I decided to turn away from him on my side. It's quiet and the air is filled with tension, I hate this. I want to be friends with him, not mortal enemies. I take a deep breathe and put myself out there. "Why are you being like this Spencer?" My voice is so quiet I don't even know if he heard me, it's quiet for a couple minutes and I give up, deciding to try to go to sleep. "I don't know." His voice cuts through the air, "I don't know why I'm being like this Fiona. I usually have all the answers, but when it comes to you, I'm an idiot."

Spencer Reid Took My Life by halababes

This day had started out so normal, so usual. Meet up with Spencer, talk, laugh... maybe some other things, but somehow now your standing in his apartment and he's just laughing in your face, degrading you, and not in a fun way. "Y/n you are so fucking boring" You tried to walk away, but Spencer grabs your arm and stops you, looking deep into your eyes. You feel your heart start to race, knowing that whatever comes out of his mouth is going to change things. " Hey, I'm going to be honest with you, because no one else will. " " Fine" You felt the tears start to build-up "Any guy who says he's interested in you beyond just fucking you... is full of shit" And the tear fell as she turned away.

Psychopathy by Ciara-Mist

(A Criminal Minds Fanfic {Dr. Spencer Reid}) Book 2 in the "Psychosis" series. As long as the members of the BAU have known her, Ciara Byrne has kept a wealth of secrets- secrets that seemed to destroy her even as she held tightly onto them. After a year of working with her, most of them had learned to let it go and had given up on ever finding out those secrets. But when Ciara goes missing, letting those secrets stay hidden may not be an option anymore. Dr. Spencer Reid thought he knew Ciara. But as the investigation goes on, more holes start to appear in the plot of her life, and he starts to realize how little he actually knew her. But what he did know was that her disappearance left him realizing how much his feelings for her had grown and that he should have told her that long ago. He knew that the key to finding her before it was too late was hidden somewhere in the secrets of her past, and when the genius set his mind to something, nothing and no one could stop him. The clock is ticking. An agent's life is on the line. And if the BAU wants to have any chance of seeing Ciara again, they'll have to work hard to unearth the secrets she fought so hard to keep buried. *Rated Mature for scenes depicting sexual assault and graphic torture

me and you, you and I • a spencelle AU by ElleForReidaway

• she's going off the rails and losing herself, while he's getting sick of sitting by and watching it happen. Will he be able to get through her hard, built-up walls, and help her avoid making a giant mess? Or is she too far gone for even him to be able to help her? • a story about SSA Elle Greenaway, and Doctor Spencer Reid. An unlikely duo about to endure challenges that they might not even be able to make it out of in one piece. • strap in this one's a LONG one i own no rights to criminal minds and its characters/material. this is fanfiction, and this story is in no way canon to the show (no matter how much i wish it was). Disclaimer! There will be depictions of violence, heavy topics, and other mature themes. Please continue with caution. I do not ship the actors themselves, this story is based off their characters only. The cover photo was edited by me, and you can also find this story on AO3!

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Slide 1 of 10

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒 ; spencer reid ¹ cover

Quiet as a Mouse || Abused Spencer Reid cover

a hellacious miracle cover

Criminal Minds Series Rewrite: Season Two cover

Rambling (Spencer X OC) cover

Just Like the Rain || Spencer Reid x Reader cover

Checkmate {Spencer Reid} cover

Spencer Reid Took My Life cover

Psychopathy cover

me and you, you and I • a spencelle AU cover

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒 ; spencer reid ¹

❝spencer, all this week you've been holding my hands. what about your germ thing?❞ ❝you were more important.❞ hazel finley is a liar. but she's a damn good one. and she's especially good at telling when other people are lying. she's the newest member at the bau, and a combination of baked goods, serial killer scrabble, and wicked poker skills has everyone in love with her. problem is, fin's got a habit of leaving people when they get too close. trust scares her. spencer reid is a genius. he spends his days reading, working, and drinking shit coffee with half a ton of sugar. his life is the same every morning. until he meets fin. he's never met someone who cares about what he has to say like she does. and he's determined to find out what hides behind her eyes. fin won't let him in that easily. and spencer won't give up without a fight. [criminal minds original fanfiction] [spencer reid x fem! oc] [seasons 3-5] [book 1] spanish translation courtesy of @laundrieds highest ever rankings as of 11/6/24: #1 - jenniferjareau #1 - profiling #1 - psychology #2 - criminal #2 - sexualtension #3 - matthewgraygubler #3 - mgg #4 - criminalminds #4 - emilyprentiss #4 - morgan #5 - fbi #6 - rossi #10 - drreid