Broken || Dan and Phil
  • Reads 234,147
  • Votes 8,328
  • Parts 73
  • Time 18h 16m
  • Reads 234,147
  • Votes 8,328
  • Parts 73
  • Time 18h 16m
Ongoing, First published Feb 13, 2015
broken; 

1. having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order
2. (of a person) having given up all hope; despairing 

Broken. That's the only word Phil Lester can describe himself. He's fractured, damaged, and has given up all hope on himself. It's not his fault he is so hurt, so alone, and so far gone. All he wants is to make friends, feel loved, live a normal life, and too be happy. Unfortunately no matter where he goes or who he encounters, there is always someone there breaking him down and pushing him further down a dark hole he can't seem to escape from. He is at his breaking point and doesn't know how much longer he can hold on for. Will anyone ever notice the pain he suffers and finally decide to help him or will he always be on his own? When someone does notice, will it be too late to save him from the demons that have already imprinted a huge heart aching mark on his fragile and broken mind? 


✖️Warning✖️
This story includes self harming, thoughts of suicide, suicide sttempt, mature language, boyxboy, bullying, abuse, and other things that might not be suitable for a younger audience!
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Depression//Phan by bluetroyee
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(tw: s*lf-h*rm, mentions of s*lf-h*rm, d*pr*ss*d scenes. May be triggering for some. Read at your own limit, please!) Phil Lester, a boy who's falling into depression slowly. And soon, his depression may end up falling to deep. He gets hateful and rude comments on his videos that he posts to YouTube. He even gets hate on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. What did he ever do to them? What did he do to deserve any of this?? His flatmate Dan doesn't know about Phil's depression, however. All he knows (thinks, rather) is that his best friend is staying strong through all of the hateful things he gets from people. But in reality, that's not what Phil is doing at all. He's not staying strong through the hate. He's just faking the smile for Dan so he wouldn't get so worried about him. Sure, Dan might be able to crack some real smiles out of him once in a while, but not every time. He also wears long sleeves and thick bracelets to hide the scars of his pain. He acts like his normal quirky, adorable, funny, weird self when making YouTube videos, when around his friends and family, when having a meet-up with fans (or just being around them in general), when out in public, etc. Phil hadn't told anyone at all about his depression. And he probably wouldn't anytime soon, either. His fans didn't know, his friends didn't know, his family didn't know, Dan didn't know... nobody knew. But one day, would people push him over his limit? Would Dan be able to save him in time? © 2016 by bluetroyee. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.