Our douchebag common friends arranged for us to go on a blind date without telling us that it was a blind date. We spent the entire "date" plotting our retaliation against them rather than getting to know each other, and we had the wonderful idea to pose as a couple before we had a terrible split. However, after two months of this sham, we are unsure of what is genuine and what is actually false. *** A MewGulf short story *** This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.