Clown
- Reads 1,074
- Votes 32
- Parts 11
Ongoing15m
Last published Wed, Apr 1, 2015
I have blue eyes.
I have blonde hair.
I'm a wizard, a vampire and the biggest cliché on watt pad. Read this if you dare witness the clown that is Zoëlla Swiss. Thank you. The parody that is written under extremely strange circumstances and I hope you don't hate me after this.
ZS
All Rights Reserved
#269
hashtag
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
New Girl, Old Story
Zoe Hales is basically your average teenage girl, the main difference is that she doesn't have a social life, and she has the most annoying, dirtiest, yet coolest older brother. She has recently moved cities, due to her moms job, and has to start in a new high school, which is pretty scary. Prostitute-vampires, hot Greek-god jocks, and some way cool nerds are part of the cast in this crazy story. She is also classified as a nerd since she takes AP classes, but her cup size might make up for that. This story might be a cliche, but I can promise it'll be a good one... Or not at all. This story is marked as completed, however I just put it that way bc i'm not deleting it but i'm also not completing it. Ever. So yeah, if u choose to proceed from this point, go at ur own risk!Complete
Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3)
Book three of the Modern Cliche Series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Sup, my name is Sammi Catherine Knapper. I am your permanently exhausted, introverted twenty-five year old. The only thing I am above average in is the fact I can pull all nighters and still get to work in the morning. Yes, I have the super human power called being a night owl who has insomnia. It's incurable, believe me, I've tried. So with that permanently exhausted exterior, I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or account for the fact I had a vampire crawl into my bedroom at night trying to figure out how the whole blood sucking thing worked. Yes, I some how managed to have a baby vamp attempt to test his new vampiric nature on me. Thankfully, Jake (surfer dude turned bloodsucker), was just as confused as I was by his vampire abilities, drinking blood to survive aside, and we set upon a mission to figure out just what being a vampire meant and what he needed to do as well as track down his one night stand vampire daddy to give him hell. Teaching a vampire how to be a vampire, meeting a sibling group of baby vampires, starting a night time inventory business, as well as being kidnapped by an alcoholic vamp daddy, all I can say is: Are you shitting me?Complete
Survivor
"What? Are we housing the French homeless now?" I snort again. That's what her accent sounded like, French. "Raven Martin Matthews!" My mother gasped. "Be nice!" She turned to the girl and lead the way, "Come let me show you to your room." "And oh to be clear, I'm French-Australian," she narrowed her eyes at me. "That doesn't make any sense," I roll my eyes and grab the suitcases, following behind them. ... Liz is forced to move across the hemisphere and move in with her godmother, Claudia, and her horrible son, Raven, yes like the black bird. Raven doesn't like people invading her personal space, and doesn't trust easily. And worse, he tests the shit out of Liz from the day she moved in. Liz on the other hand, is a survivor. What she is a survivor of? Read to find out ;)Complete
It's A Cliche
Hey kids. Do you love watpadd? Are you tired of cliche's? Do you just want to read something funny? Well here's the book for you. Its a humourous parody for watpadd cliches. All you have to do is check it out. You'll fall in love. She was a storm; not the kind you run from, oh no... The kind you chase. ••• What is this idiot doing? He's making a scene, people are staring. Oh God please kill me now. I close my eyes and pray; Oh God just let the ground open up and swallow me... Pretty please? I peek from one eye to check if I've magically teleported... Nope! Still in this nightmare. "will... You... Marry... Me?", he stops singing and looks at me hopefully. Tristan why?! Why you gotta be so weird all the time? I look around to see the crowd watching wide eyed. Some look at me expectantly while the others look like they're about to cry due to this sham of affectionate 'love'. Oh what do I do now? "Tristan... We're in -. "She said yes!" they all applaud ecstatically. 'I hate people'Complete
The Story That Has Everything (A Parody) - COMPLETED
You want it all? And you want it now? Players? Vampires? Werewolves? Nerds and Jocks? Rockstars? Princesses? Kidnappers? Falling in love with your best friend? This short story has everything you're wishing for! Come in! Let's play: Spot the cliché! (Attention: Parody ahead. Read at your own risk.)Complete![Seriously, WHAT'S HOT? [√]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/575365-256-k189089.jpg)
Seriously, WHAT'S HOT? [√]
Written when Wattpad had a 'What's Hot' list - a satire of all the cliche plots woven into one story line - Werewolves, adopted hot brothers, arranged marriages, vampires, fan-fic, gangster love, plus much more... it's a rollercoaster of a plot!Complete
The Billionaire Mafia Boss Alpha Bad Boy and Me
A parody... except it slowly gets less satirical as I get way too attached to the characters and turn the story into a shipping-fest ~~~~ "Why are you doing this?" I whispered. He slammed me against another locker. I could see anger, sadness, envy, happiness and lust in his teal green orbs. "Because you're mine." He smirked, gnashing his teeth against mine. ~~~~ Brynn Winters is a 17 year old good girl. She is sweeter than sugar. She is also sarcastic and quirky and innocent and naive and snarky and is a bookworm and not like other girls. She also has trauma to (barely) compensate for her lack of personality. She believes in love but she has never experienced any, until she met him. Ryder Daniels is a 18 year old bad boy. He is sweeter than sin. He is dark and mysterious and plays football (not shown in book). He smokes and drinks beer. He is a ladies' man and a player. He has walls around his heart and some dark secrets that is definitely not spoiled in the title. He does not believe in love. Brynn and Ryder are opposites. So what happens when they meet? He is not who she thinks he is. Will it end in disaster? Or will it end in love? Will it end in flames? Or will it end in a different kind of flame? As disasters come their way, will they choose love or not love? Will their secrets drive them apart? Or will they trust in each other? Join them on their journey of love. There will be love, annoying sluts, conversations that doesn't pass the Bechdel test, cliche tropes, glaring plot holes, subtly glaring plot holes, socialism, orbs, humor, secondhand embarrassment and the tiniest hints of homoeroticism. ~~~~ Reviews (aka criticisms that I'm too lazy to correct): "From a horribly done parody to horribly done leftist propaganda." "Brynn and Ryder are the most frustrating couple I've ever read." "Where humor" "You can't use parody as an excuse for bad writing, you know."Complete
His Rejected Mate#WattyAwards2016(Under Construction)
(Old description got somehow deleted.This is a new shorter description but the story is not changed!) ⚠⚠WARNING BEFORE YOU READ: I WROTE THIS BACK WHEN THE WHOLE WEREWOLF THING WASN'T AS CLICHE AND I WAS LIKE 12 😭⚠⚠ (every year that goes by is me cringing out of existence, I wanna delete cause it's just..too cringe at this point to revise ngl. but some people like it and some don't and it's one of my first books fr ) Shifting at the young age of six Christina Rosewood didn't have the best life growing up. Not only does her pack mistreat her,her father blames her for mother's death.What happens when she finds her mate and he rejects her and gets married to another? *Sigh*I like the old description better. ◆◆MAY CONTAIN SOME ERRORS◆◆Complete
The Best of Wattpad (Completed Stories)
This is my collection of the best books I have read on Wattpad. All of these stories are completed. Don't forget to vote and comment on your favorites :) Enjoy!Complete
My Saviour
|Highest Ranking: 76 in Werewolf, 13/3/21 | After the murder of her parents, sentenced to live the rest of her life out as a rouge. What happens when Clara stop's running to save a girl from non-other than a rouge, and the girl just so happens to be the Alpha's sister. Follow the story as Clara gains a better understanding of this mysterious Alpha, and face the terrors the haunt her past. Sneak Peek: 'What are you doing turn around and go back, where safe here. I know it.' Said Maia ignoring her request I shifted and ran into the forest. I didn't know this forest well and was sure I was getting lost, though I still kept running. I heard a bundle of footsteps that weren't my own. I stopped tacking a moment to even my breathing, when I was jumped on by a big wolf he was probably double the size of me. He was pure black with a white patch on his chest. He was the alpha. Oh shit * * * This is my first book, so I hope you enjoy please give it a go. The description might not be that good, but I really enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it. Was written by me at 13 it is cliche and full of spelling and grammatical errors, that I'm not going to fix (I'm lazy). Read at your own risk.Complete
Zoe Hales is basically your average teenage girl, the main difference is that she doesn't have a social life, and she has the most annoying, dirtiest, yet coolest older brother. She has recently moved cities, due to her moms job, and has to start in a new high school, which is pretty scary. Prostitute-vampires, hot Greek-god jocks, and some way cool nerds are part of the cast in this crazy story. She is also classified as a nerd since she takes AP classes, but her cup size might make up for that. This story might be a cliche, but I can promise it'll be a good one... Or not at all. This story is marked as completed, however I just put it that way bc i'm not deleting it but i'm also not completing it. Ever. So yeah, if u choose to proceed from this point, go at ur own risk!
More detailsContent Guidelines