The Diary Of Rare Dreams
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- Parts 3
I don't even know how to feel about my life.I have lived and lived just to want to die in the end . I don't know what it is about him and I .Why can't he let go,why can't I tell him I don't want him if I believe I hurt him so bad ??
"I am not good for you and you know that .I keep messing up your life, keeping you on the edge , hurting and I'll probably be the cause for your death." I said trying to hold back the emotions that where going through my dead heart and brain.I did not want to cry or anything because I wouldn't have to show him that I am making this decision out of weakness and guilt.
He looked at me with glassy emerald eyes then he cupped my face as a tear slid down one of his eyes "Yes,but I want you." Those words.....
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"I can't trust you, I can't listen to you, I can't believe you. I want nothing to do with you get the fuck out of my life Harry!" I yell at him while tears start forming in my eyes but I blink them away quickly. I will not be weak not now not after everything. "I don't understand I just wanna be with you Jess why is that so hard to believe why do you keep treating me like shit when all I do is treat you like a fucken princess I want you, I want to be with you, I care for you, I can treat you just the way you deserve to be treated just please listen to me I-" I rudely cuts him off before he can continue with his lie "I don't want to listen to you your just going to hurt me and leave me like everyone else just save yourself some energy and leave already" he stares into my eyes trying to find a glimise of hope but theres nothing there just dark, lifeless. "What don't you understand I'm not going anywhere."
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