i wrote this for you
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- Parts 4
Ongoing5m
Last published Tue, Jun 30, 2015
dear you, i wrote this for you because i don't think you understand the way i feel for you and that's okay because i myself can't even begin to comprehend it but i hope this serves as an explanation, a reminder, a comparison and a memory, some form of insight, if not just a glimpse of what my heart, mind and soul feel for you. these are the things i want you to know, the things i want to tell you, the things i have or haven't told you, the things that remind me of you and the things that i hope remind you of me, the things that keep me up at 4am thinking about you. these are my thoughts, my demons and my feelings for you. i wrote this for you because even though they are all things that keep us together and push us apart, they are also the things that keep my heart content when we're miles apart. i know that being with me isn't easy and that i don't make it any easier, and i know that things have gone from good to bad, and back to good then to worse and right now, i don't think either of us know where they are but i also know that someway or other, we will find our way back to each other, back to where we are happy and back to where we're supposed to be. i wrote this for you to enlighten you for the light you have instilled in me, i hope they find their way to you and that you find the time for them. i know you hate reading. P.S. what i feel for you is immensely more than any words, including these, could explain. I love you. I miss you. Thank you. Me.
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I wanted to tell him that I knew his favorite book, and his coffee order, and the way he clicked his pen when he was deep in thought. I wanted to tell him I knew that he sleeps on the right side of the bed and eats on the left side of the table. I wanted to tell him that I knew his worries, dreams and fears. I wanted to tell him that I knew he loved me too. I wanted to see his laugh, and know that I was the reason. I wanted to make him smile, just to see those dimples that lay heavenly on his face. I wanted his eyes to light up in joy- I wanted to see him happy. I wanted to tell him that I prided myself in the fact that I had memorized all the freckles on his skin, how his freckles birthmarks created their own galaxies of planets and stars. I wanted to tell him I would be there for him, on the bad days too. I wanted to tell him he could call be at 3:46 in the morning and just complain, I'd completely understand. I wanted to tell him that he had completely beguiled me; that he was my entire world. I wanted to tell him that I love him more than anything I had ever known. I wanted to run to him, to hug him. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and never let me go. I wanted to never leave him. I wanted to rule by his side, as his Luna. Instead, I just turned my back in order to not let anyone see my tears. I walked away from the love of my life, for what? For fate? For destiny? Or for some foolish trick that I was walking myself into? No matter the reason, I walked away from him with tears in my eyes and sorrow in my heart. I never wanted to walk away again. He was my mate and all I wanted was him.
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