Muted (BTS)

Muted (BTS)

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WpMetadataReadOngoing1h 35m
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Fri, Aug 26, 2016
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Fanfic
BTS
I stood there, in a crowd who where shouting their hearts out, fan chants, girls screaming and crying as T.O.P lifted his shirt up revealing his perfectly structured abs! Whilst GD swirled around like a princess. I wildly wave my glow stick round, opening my mouth but no sound came out. It was normal. A guy who was next to me shouted so loudly catching my attention, "GD!!! MY MANLINESS IS DYING!" He screams completely fan boy-ing over G-Dragon as he waves his merchandise around. I laugh silently at this guy. He noticed me starring at him and he looks at me and smiles. "Don't you think he's awesome?" He shouts excitedly over the crowd. I nod continually. With my hands I point to my neck, then make an 'X' sign to inform him that I can't speak. "No talk?" He questions, with his thump facing down. I nod. Expecting him to go back to his fan boy-ing. But instead he grabbed my hand which had the glow stick held in it and said, "It's okay, I'll scream for you" he smiles. And that's the first time I was happy that I was muted.
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"Don't push me away, please." Jungkook calls out to me, but he doesn't take a step further, allowing me my space. I'm unsure if I'm relieved. "I'm here to support you. I want to support you. Stop hurting yourself like this." I let out another humorless laugh. ""Stop hurting yourself like this"? What am I doing to myself?" "I'm not doing anything!" I want to scream. "This is all an act! I'm doing all of this for attention! I'm undeserving of this attention." "You're not allowing yourself to receive support. You're isolating yourself. Why?" Because maybe if I isolate myself I'll start to feel like less of an impostor and actually start to be a little more deserving of this care that I'm pathetically faking for. "I don't deserve the support." Not while all of these emotions and reactions were all stemmed from a lie. "I don't deserve the support." I shake my head. "I don't know why I thought you could help. I don't know why I thought I deserved help. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm sorry for being a burden." I turn around to walk away before he can say anything further. TW: includes detailed descriptions of disordered eating

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