What does it mean to be good enough?

People expect too much of you even when you are trying your best.

Society screams:

"You have to put more make up on!"

"Your body isn't thin enough! Oh my God, lose some weight!"

"You are eighteen and still a virgin? There must be something wrong with you!"

"Anxiety? Young people keep inventing God knows what to draw attention to themselves."

And your parents want what is best for you. So they tell you to study really hard in secondary school, to not mix with the wrong people, to get a degree in college and work professionally.

But is that really what is best for you?

And how do you define wrong people?
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My name is Phoenix, I am eighteen years old, and I suffer from anxiety.

Every day is a constant struggle from when I get up in the morning until I lie back down on my soft, warm, secure pillow again.

I did not get into college, and now I am stuck doing a Maths course until next spring. My friend and former classmates, unlike me, got into the university they wanted. They have achieved so much more than I, and I am extremely behind everyone else.

My parents do not seem to understand me and cannot afford to pay for a psychologist.

Going outside is scary, and facing problems on my own is terrifying, and trying to show that I am confident is mortifying and tiring.

What do I do?