The Wizard of Elsewhere

Wizards are a finicky bunch who prefer shuffling about their Libraries, pouring through ancient tomes, or discussing at length the existential complexities of the number thirteen to... just about anything else.

Wizards haven't ventured on quests in centuries and there haven't really been any quests to go on anyways.

The Vampires are mostly well behaved. Werewolves stick to their schedules. Dragons sleep most of the time, don't steal away virgins anymore and, in fact, find the vast majority of them in this era rather dull.

And the Fae? Well, no one's seen them since Merlin's time. The Merlin's time.

So, when Wizard Barnibus Jefferson Montgomery Barnwinkle, the last Barnwinkle from a long line of Barnwinkles, accidentally trips through an eldritch hole in reality and plops into a land of Fell Doom and Grand Demise, everyone is suitably appalled... everyone who knows about it at any rate.

Quests? They are not vogue. They are not in fashion. But they are in the land of Fell Doom and Grand Demise.

Wizards, on the other hand are not. And for all that Barnibus has strong opinions on the number thirteen. For all the tomes he's poured through and scrolls he's translated from hieroglyphics. For all the potions he's whipped together by candle light....

He is not at all prepared for a quest. Not a real one. Not at all.

At least he has his hat.