Don Juan: The Story of a Complete and Total Asshole - Yak - Wattpad

Story cover for Don Juan: The Story of a Complete and Total Asshole by CornbreadLegs

Don Juan: The Story of a Complete and Total Asshole

Reads 60
Votes 3
Parts 1
Time <5 mins

Reads 60
Votes 3
Parts 1
Time <5 mins

action adventure comedy criminal funny humor

In the Mojave Desert was a trailer, sitting next to a dilapidated playground. This trailer was abandoned, right? No, it's anything but abandoned. Inside there was cocaine strewn across the floor, crack was jammed in between the sofa cushions, and the marajuana was kept refrigerated. Inside was Don Juan, the (not so) notorious criminal, high on acid whilst watching Vanilla Ice Goes Amish. He was probably in his mid-30s, Caucasian, nearly shoulder length greasy auburn hair, and was working on growing a beard. He was doing a swell job on it too. So why does a bum like this need to have a story written? The truth is, he doesn't, this man was a total asshole. And this is where his story begins.All Rights Reserved

action adventure comedy criminal funny humor

Table of contents

The Dick
Sat, Feb 21, 2015

1 part

The Dick
Sat, Feb 21, 2015

Sign up to add Don Juan: The Story of a Complete and Total Asshole to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

The City of the Angels ✔️ by byzahra_xo

When Isadora, a personal trainer from a wealthy family, falls for Roman, the heir to a deadly cartel, their intense connection is shattered by secrets and betrayal. As danger closes in, they must confront their pasts, fight for survival, and decide if love can exist in a world built on lies and violence. *** Los Angeles, also known as The City of the Angels. It's a fitting name for Los Ángeles del Armagedón, a cartel based in LA that runs the entire continent of South America. They're notorious, ruthless, and absolutely elusive. Well, apart from 26 year old Roman Ernesto Alvarez. Recently released from a two year stint in prison, he returns to the free world as the adopted heir to the most powerful cartel in South America. He's struggling to be back on the outside... until he meets her. Isadora Visente. She's a 23 year old personal trainer struggling with her parents' pressure to settle down and marry. Unknowingly, their slow-building but intensifying connection becomes Roman's unexpected anchor after his release. Her life working as a trainer in her gym is pretty mundane and repetitive, until she meets Roman, of course. Then it all gets a lot more interesting. *** "You sneaky little shit." Roman's eyes snapped over to me, or more accurately, towards my legs. There I stood in the middle of his room glaring at him, and he sat there with his beautiful eyes roaming over my exposed legs. He eventually dragged his gaze towards my upper half, but only for a second before it was back on my legs. "Damn." His voice was low and husky and just...perfect. Even if I was mad at him I couldn't deny that fact. "My eyes are up here, Roman." "Yeah, but your legs are down there." *** Part of the Costantino Universe

Russian Roulette (Royce) by ForeverMindless247

When your father's the most feared man on the streets of California, you've only got two things to do. Respect him and pay attention. That's what sixteen year old, Chresanto August has been doing all his life. Being the son of the man whose murdered people, sold drugs, and has a problem with the cops is hard. Chresanto's torn between following in his father's footsteps or turning him in for good. Now, when your uncle's the head police officer of California, you've only got two things to do. Respect him and be on your best behavior. That's what eighteen year old, Jacob Perez has been doing all of his life. Being the nephew of the police officer whose put criminals in jail, cracked the hardest cases, and pulled a gun out on people is hard, believe it or not. Jacob's torn between following in his uncle's footsteps or steering clear from the police business. So what happens when Jacob's uncle gets the chance to finally rid Chresanto's father from the streets? Or when Jacob runs into Chresanto while he's in the middle of shoplifting? You won't believe it, but Jacob may actually be put in consideration to help put Chresanto's father in prison. When the two teens finally meet each other and realize who the other is, what happens then? Well, let's just say that they find themselves in a deadly game of Russian Roulette. *Copyright: ForeverMindless247* (2014) **Please don't steal**

In the Absence of a Good Life by ifindedcake

Meet Jimmy. He's the guy with all the problems, the screw up who always acts like a complete and total jerk. The one guy that's forever in trouble. Well, what happens when his habits get him into situations a little more serious than your usual high school jerk's problems? Jimmy's in a hole too deep to climb out of...and he's only digging deeper... (sorry, I suck at summaries...please give it a go...)

Two Years by Rapunzelll99

'I wake up at around 6am to go for my morning run. I get up slowly and pull at the curtains so my room is filled with light. Even though it's still so early, it is already bright outside. Meaning that today will be a sunny day. I turn around as I hear someone groaning and tossing in the bed behind me. I turn towards the bed with a smirk plastered on my face. He turns towards me with squinted eyes and I have to laugh silently at the sight. He gives me a glare before saying. "Laugh all you want woman. I'll get you back." It only makes me laugh harder.' Read to find out more. <3

World Wall 3 by RoshGupta

In the near future, Mr. Donald J. Trump is the President of the United States of America, and there have been some radical changes. Some for the better, and some for the worse. Some are just plain weird. Most notably, however, a giant wall exists at the border of Mexico and the U.S. to stop illegal immigration in Trump's ideology. That's all great, but when Ramon Juarez, a Mexican-American man who immigrated to America years before is caught in the middle of a family crisis that presents certain legal problems in this new, outlandish world, he'll have to break some laws and team up with a couple of dorks to save the day. Inspired by the Trump Craze of the recent months, this is a political comedy, intended to be as uncompromisingly funny as humanly possible. I'm in ninth grade and, at 33 pages long, this is my first story ever. I originally wrote it for the holidays late last year on Google Docs, but my family, friends, and peers loved it, so I figured I'd share it online. Enjoy! NOTICE: This story is labeled as not mature, but it does contain a few suggestive references and mild expletives, so make of it what you may.

~Met Behind the Masks~ by WildLadd

I don't know why I keep writing stories, but here's another XD I know, another gang type story, but what can I say? It gives me the most ideas cause... well.. anything can happen :P I walk through the fog, pretending to be a badass. Well, I wish I could. I, unfortunately, haven't got time to just have my own fun. I have much bigger problems to deal with. My name is Lauren Raine. I'm 21, and always on the move. It seems like any time I find a safe place, it gets destroyed. I can't risk killing anymore innocent civilians. Hope this was good. It's apart of the first paragraph sooooo.... If not then boohoo XD Hope you enjoy the story! ~WildLadd

Made For The Mafia (18+) (1 of 3) by writer82897

'For The Mafia' Series - Book 1 of 3! ~~~ "Down on your knees." He lets go of my hair and pushes my shoulders down roughly, before unbuttoning and shrugging off his shirt. I kneel in front of him and instantly unbuckle his belt and unzip his black pants. He watches me eagerly from above, keeping his hands to his side, letting me lead. "Are you jealous when I flirt with those men for information?" I bat my eyes up at him innocently as I pull his pants down to his knees. His face hardens as he considers my question. "I don't like your hands on them." He grumbles and I smirk. I already knew the answer. "I do it for you, Enzo." I remind him as I move my mouth closer to him. "Only me." He growls as he pulls my head forward, closing the space between us. ~~~ When a dangerous mafia leader meets this particular stripper, he learns she is anything but. Both equally ruthless and thirsting for power, he hires her as his lethal interrogator and assassin, however she quickly becomes more when neither can resist each other. But can she learn how to truly care for one of the men she was taught to use? Can he control his jealousy long enough to take advantage of her tricks? Will she love him enough to share her biggest secret - who she really is? Read to find out! Disclaimer: There WILL be mature content - swearing, sex scenes, murder, drugs, drinking, etc. It's a mafia story... so expect a lot of that stuff lol Started: February 2021 Completed: December 3, 2021 (Book 3 is in progress!) Achievements: First 1,000 reads: August 5, 2021 First 5,000 reads: December 24, 2021 First 50,000 reads: September 5, 2022 First 100,000 reads: November 18, 2022 First 200,000 reads: June 9, 2023 First 300,000 reads: December 1, 2023 First 400,000 reads: January 23, 2024 First 500,000 reads: March 23, 2024 First 900,000 reads: September 1, 2024!! Tag Ratings: #2 romantic suspense - January 12, 2022 #1 trouble - August 2, 2023

Barbie (BoyxBoy) [R] by folkwh0re

[COMPLETED] "Well, well look who decided to show up on the party.", he then look at me up and down before putting one hand up on his chin. "And he's wearing something slutty too, tryna score some?", He smirks. I groan, "What do you want? leave me alone!", I push him rather harshly, he didn't budge though instead he leans in and trap me between his body as my back lean against the wall. "You're a feisty one aren't you, barbie?", he whispered huskily, making me shiver for some reason as I gulp when he starts caressing the back of my neck. "I must say, you look good.", he continues making me speechless for a moment. ~~~ "Ahh fuck... Fuck you!", I moaned as the asshole grins at me sheepishly. I really hate him so much, I don't even know why we're doing this right now. Kissing, fucking, and sweating with each other. "That's funny cause I'm fucking you, barbie!", He then goes deeper and deeper in me hitting my prostate causing me to whimpers in pleasure. I really hate him so fucking much! Fuck Rafael Sandoval! ~~~ Alcrais is an openly gay student. Being part of the cheerleader team and having a pretty face mean he's kinda known in his high school. Although his life is not as perfect as it seems. Especially when he has to be partnered up with his so called enemies that he despise. Rafael is your typical high school QB. He's a loud, obnoxious and also known to attract attention from people. Having great physics also rich parents just easily makes him adored by many. Many but one guy, one pretty guy he called Barbie. They didn't get along really well but like other cliché story it soon turns out differently. Will their despair turn into something sweet? Will it ends happily? Guess you have to find out and read this book ✨✨ (*Rated R, not suitable for everyone under 18.)

Mascherata by 1cat101

We all sit down except Jared. "What the fuck is this?" Jared says calmly. "I'm very , very, sorry Mr.Remontti. I don't know what you're talking about." Ferro tells him. "YELLOW TAIL WINE!YELLOW TAIL...!" He screams at the top of his lungs. I had no idea he could be so violent. "JARED REMONTTI DOES NOT DRINK YELLOW TAIL WINE!!! " He picks up the bottle of the wine and smashes it to pieces over Ferro's head. Ferro's body falls to the ground blood dripping from his head. Candy Remington and Mia Kappling's lives were perfect. Getting your nails done at the salon downtown every Wednesday, new Cadillac for Christmas, going to the mall in Trent town when you Aced your math test. Well, there lives were perfect.That was until Candy runs into an old acquaintance by the name of Jared Remontti. ***COMPLETED***

You may also like

Slide 1 of 9

The City of the Angels ✔️ cover

Russian Roulette (Royce) cover

In the Absence of a Good Life cover

Two Years cover

World Wall 3 cover

~Met Behind the Masks~ cover

Made For The Mafia (18+) (1 of 3) cover

Barbie (BoyxBoy) [R] cover

Mascherata cover

The City of the Angels ✔️

When Isadora, a personal trainer from a wealthy family, falls for Roman, the heir to a deadly cartel, their intense connection is shattered by secrets and betrayal. As danger closes in, they must confront their pasts, fight for survival, and decide if love can exist in a world built on lies and violence. * Los Angeles, also known as The City of the Angels. It's a fitting name for Los Ángeles del Armagedón, a cartel based in LA that runs the entire continent of South America. They're notorious, ruthless, and absolutely elusive. Well, apart from 26 year old Roman Ernesto Alvarez. Recently released from a two year stint in prison, he returns to the free world as the adopted heir to the most powerful cartel in South America. He's struggling to be back on the outside... until he meets her. Isadora Visente. She's a 23 year old personal trainer struggling with her parents' pressure to settle down and marry. Unknowingly, their slow-building but intensifying connection becomes Roman's unexpected anchor after his release. Her life working as a trainer in her gym is pretty mundane and repetitive, until she meets Roman, of course. Then it all gets a lot more interesting. * "You sneaky little shit." Roman's eyes snapped over to me, or more accurately, towards my legs. There I stood in the middle of his room glaring at him, and he sat there with his beautiful eyes roaming over my exposed legs. He eventually dragged his gaze towards my upper half, but only for a second before it was back on my legs. "Damn." His voice was low and husky and just...perfect. Even if I was mad at him I couldn't deny that fact. "My eyes are up here, Roman." "Yeah, but your legs are down there." *** Part of the Costantino Universe