Lavender's Blue by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer PRE ORDER now live
  • Reads 473
  • Votes 4
  • Parts 5
  • Time 53m
  • Reads 473
  • Votes 4
  • Parts 5
  • Time 53m
Ongoing, First published Feb 03, 2023
Pre-order for all three books now live: http://bobmayer.com/workshops/

From the NY Times Bestselling duo that wrote Agnes and the Hitman, 
the first book in a new series.

Liz Danger has come home after fifteen years to deliver a giant teddy bear for her mother's birthday (color: Guilt Red) when a cop with a great ass picks her up for speeding, fixes the missing lug nuts in her back wheel, pulls her out of a ditch, doesn't give her a ticket, and helps her avoid her family. This is a man with real potential. 

Vince Cooper picks up Liz for speeding and his life gets a lot more interesting.  Then he picks her up again in the local bar the next night and realizes that "interesting" doesn't begin to describe what's going to happen to him with Liz in his life.   

As Liz navigates her dysfunctional family, her flamboyant boss phoning in from Chicago, her still-interested ex, a dachshund with issues, a disaster of a wedding, assault, murder, and three hundred and ninety-three teddy bears, Vince shows up to get her through, even though he knows that the real peril for him in Burney is the one who came with her own warning label, Liz Danger.

 "A rare delight. Mayer's delectably dry sense of humor perfectly complements Crusie's brand of sharp wit . . .  a sexy, sassy, and smart combination of romance and suspense that is simply irresistible."-Booklist on Don't Look Down

"A comic caper and raucous romance...laugh-out-loud funny...a fun ride."-Kirkus Reviews on Agnes and the Hitman
"A bubbly novel with amusing banter and...moments of poignancy."-Publishers Weekly on Agnes and the Hitman

LAVENDER'S BLUE: Would it kill you to go home and see your mother?
All Rights Reserved
Sign up to add Lavender's Blue by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer PRE ORDER now live to your library and receive updates
or
Content Guidelines
You may also like
Furry Humans | ✓ by XxRiah916Xx
65 parts Complete Mature
❝Human by Day and Wolf by Night.❞ But what would you do if you saw one in broad daylight? - * - Abigail wasn't prepared to hear that she and her parents were moving, she viewed it as a cover-up to move away from everything they've ever known and from the problems that have caused her family pain. But in the end, it was so much more. This new town was different; secluded around acres of trees and miles away from the next living city of civilization. Her Dad's company strikes a business deal, resulting in their leave. . or so she originally thought. Once there, the town's people began to act peculiar; sniffing the air whenever she strolled past and gaping at her as if they hadn't seen another human being in their life, or maybe that was just the case. Abigail isn't the one to be curious about most things, especially when things begin to accumulate bizarre events They all had one common emotion continuously gleaming in their eyes when they veered her way, and she began to question the town itself from that point forward. The growls, the changing of eye color, the animalistic ways- this town carries mysteries that set her ablaze with curiosity. She's set on finding that out after a frightening encounter in the woods. As they say 'Curiosity killed the cat' so what happens when she realizes that figuring out these secrets is putting her in danger, more than she could have ever imagined? ___________ C O V E R- @ska.w.barnes T R A I L E R- @auratics ___________ Highest Rank : #5 in Werewolf ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ® Copyright © 2016-2017 by XxRiah916Xx
The Silver Fighter | ✓ by LiseR05
62 parts Complete
"I already killed your mother, Cam." As the words left my enemy's mouth like a mocking sneer, I growled under my breath at the mention of my old name. Memories started to boil up that I had been wanting to squash deep into my heart. Bad memories. "As you can guess, I'm here to finish the job." He continued with that ever-present sinister smirk on his face. And in that moment, a sudden burst of confidence just appeared within me. Or blatant stupidity. 'I'll take either one.' I silently admitted to myself. I rolled my eyes at his so-called 'threat', not really intimidated in the least. "Yeah, like that went so well the first time. The first time, you fucked up enough to get caught by the police." I pointed out. "The second time, your grown-ass men got their asses handed to them by two teenagers." I snorted at him. "Your odds aren't looking too good here, Berti." ~•~ Losing her father? Lovely. Getting in a car accident with her aunt, uncle, and cousin and being the sole survivor? Fantastic. Losing her mother because a deranged psychopath holds a grudge even better than The Grinch? Amazing. Being ostracized from her own family save from her paternal grandparents, and getting the blame for her mother's death? Cherry on top of the cake. Having to make sure three idiotic twats don't get themselves killed because they couldn't mind their own bloody business? Bloody hell, that's an entire ice cream cake with ten pounds of gummy bears. ~•~ Join Grace Stanton as she faces her demons and the demons of her past all while trying not to commit murder against her three new friends. Fun times. (First book in the Gilded series) ~•~ [#1 Streetracer - 4/21/21] [#1 Gangs - 9/16/21] [#1 Boxer - 9/12/21] [#1 Fighter - 12/11/21] [#2 Boxing - 9/3/21] [#1 Girlpower - 2/12/21]
HAUNTED - A Dark Romance by savshabang
41 parts Ongoing Mature
DANTE When I first laid my eyes on her; she was only eleven, three years younger than me. She was quiet. And pure. But she was troubled, and alone. I could see it behind her eyes; the thin veil that concealed her deepest secrets, faltering every time she looked at me. I knew from that moment on that I would live for her. And she would eventually live for me, too. With or without her blessing. However, circumstances change. And that purity I once relished in; her light in contrast to my darkness, disappeared. But, don't worry my little sinner, I will haunt you. And I won't be as kind this time. EDEN I won't let you scare me. That's what I keep telling myself. And yet, I see you. In every dark corner, in every casting shadow -- I see you when I close my eyes. And I hate myself for it. But I'm older now. Wiser. You took my innocence from me, and while I hate myself for allowing you to, I hate you just that much more. But I won't let you in this time. I don't want your inferno to engulf me anymore, I want to extinguish it. **PLEASE BE WARNED** This book will contain graphic contents, including but not limited to: violence, sexual contents and sensitive subjects. A trigger warning for the following: Domestic Abuse, is heavily advised. There is content advisories for things like; CNC, Stalking, Gore...etc, as well. This book is the first I have ever written, and I want you all to enjoy it as much as I do. Feel free to leave your feedback in the comments, or on my page. With all that said and done, please enjoy. He's waiting for you. Enjoy, Savvy.
Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed) by vineethereader
38 parts Complete
"So, let me get this straight. You stomped all over his paperwork?" She started. "Not intentionally, but yes," I confirmed it. "Threw a drink in his face?" She added. "Expensive red wine." I described. "Rammed into his car with yours deliberately?" she counted on her third finger. "Um...I'm not proud of that one," I said cringing. "And called him offensive names?" She ended the list and I winced. "Twice." I specified. "And you're still alive?" She blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "Geez, don't be dramatic or anything..." I frowned at her hyperbolic statement. "Maybe he's keeping you around to get revenge." She suggested. Possible. I wouldn't put it past him. "I didn't know alright!" I exclaimed. "Let's hope that excuse is acceptable.." She was merely amused. "Working with my new boss is going to be a piece of work." ** Synopsis: When the CEO of Signature Heights: Jensen Black, and a stubborn employee: Alexandra Brook, clash, it's a battle of wits & a war of perseverance. They are both dead set on making each other's lives hell, but when the story progresses they just might learn that first impressions could be deceiving. As circumstances reveal their true selves and opinions change, things could get complicated especially when suddenly feelings get involved. Who would be the first to concede? Maybe it's not that simple to forgive your archnemesis and maybe it'll result in some hilarious consequences... ** Book 1 of a two-part series (completed).High Rankings: # Funny, # Humor, # Comedy, # Romance, #Billionaire Amazing book, I adore your writing style, and I really enjoyed these characters and story -Reader Fantastic story, believably flawed characters and deft humour makes for a very engaging read, I could barely put it down to feed my children -Reader **
I SAW SANTA KILL SOMEONE by KassandraVivu
36 parts Complete Mature
Celeste Gray thought it would be nice to stay in a cabin in the woods. Being able to be alone, left with her thoughts, finding nature, and the nice cozy feeling of warmth were what she needed. Which led her to book/rent out a cabin for the whole month of December. Spending the holidays alone shouldn't be too bad. I mean, there's a reason she's alone in the first place; this is what she needed to move on with her life. So everything should be fine. Celeste was wrong about that because the moment she decided to take that trail in the woods, she knew she fucked up. Especially when she saw Santa Clause, not dropping off gifts, not with his reindeer or his sleigh, but standing over a dead body. She just saw Santa kill someone. Ji-Cheol Kim is not your average man, he does something for a living that is not for everyone, but someone has to do it, especially when it's getting justice in a way for people who deserve justice done that way. He was doing his job, which he is very good at when someone who wasn't supposed to be there ended up being there. Now his plans have changed, which led him to do something he doesn't mind doing, finally being able to spend the holidays with someone. Even if the person doesn't want that, she has no choice but to accept it. Neither of them was expecting this to happen. Two people from different worlds who ended up bumping into each other are now spending the holidays together. This was far from being a Christmas miracle. (All rights reserved, this book will be published as a paperback when completed and available for purchase.)
You may also like
Slide 1 of 10
BLUE EYE - A DALLAS WINSTON FANFIC cover
Furry Humans | ✓ cover
Returning Red cover
HEATHER - HIS LOST ANGEL cover
The Silver Fighter | ✓ cover
UNWANTED BY THE ALPHA {Under Heavy Editing} cover
A New Woman cover
HAUNTED - A Dark Romance cover
Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed) cover
I SAW SANTA KILL SOMEONE cover

BLUE EYE - A DALLAS WINSTON FANFIC

26 parts Complete

"𝔸𝕀ℕ'𝕋 𝔻𝕀𝕋ℤ𝕐, 𝕁𝕌𝕊𝕋 𝔸 𝔻ℝ𝔼𝔸𝕄𝔼ℝ" Eᴠᴇ "ʙʟᴜᴇ ᴇʏᴇ" ʜᴀʀᴘᴇʀ had been living in the old church since she was 12. Surviving on her own was tough but she got the hang of it. Now, she's 17 and happy where she is, but soon her peace becomes interrupted by two boys, who's got a dilemma, maybe more than one. Lucky for them, Blue's a kind-hearted soul. But, when Dally comes for the boys, Blue discovers that she's got her work cut out for her. She knows a lost soul when she sees one. And after all, nobody deserved to be left in the dark, not like she was... All credit for "The Outsiders" go to S.E. Hinton. Only Eve and everything about her story belongs to me. #1 in bucks #1 in dingo #4 in greasers This book is based on the movie. Warnings: Smoking, drinking, mentions of trauma, depictions of PTSD, mentions of violence and abuse, language. Enjoy ♡︎