Story cover for My Delusional Sunset by AngeliqueMarco
My Delusional Sunset
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  • WpView
    LECTURAS 31
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    Hora 9m
Continúa, Has publicado feb 22, 2015
Writing is the only outlet I have that is why I love what I am doing.

These are not just mere imaginations and illutions but emotions I can't let out because I know better than ruining other people's life with my anger and hatred, with my sorrow and sadness, with my grief and pain; with all the emotions that are lurking in all of inside me; with all these feelings that are taking away every reasons for me to breathe.

Somehow, I haven't really changed. This is still exactly the same petty me I used to be from a long time ago.
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I really don't remember the last time I was happy even my childhood memories I honestly don't remember having a bubbly childhood like any other kids ,my life has always been miserable and honestly learned how to adapt to that. you honestly smile over something stupid , laugh over a cracked joke for a few minutes and there's that thing that triggers that you just had enough and you should stop and your mood just goes down and there's nothing to do about it. It's like the inner you always wakes up fucked up more than you are fucked up and tells you that you just sad and you gonna stay that way until you take out the anger on something or someone but you know what something always has to be the blade, permanent scars on how bad it was ,a daily reminder on how life is and how sadness over comes you at times actually not at times but everytime and on the someone part , you hurt people that honestly try to reach out to you and show you how much they care about you but you just had it with everyone and everything and you want no one caring about your feelings and giving a fuck about you because you can't reciprocate the feelings. You can't find yourself caring about anyone else but you but still can't care about yourself enough to feel safe or protected , he was the only one that made me feel alive and I lost him but what hurts more is losing someone and only realizing later what they meant to you.
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Do you know the times when you want to say something, but can't? Or the times when you are sad and need someone to give you a hug? The times your worst enemy hugs your boyfriend? Or the times you are so angry you punch a locker and have to pay to get it repaired? Well with writing my thoughts, passions, anger triggers, enemies, love, hatred, even happiness out for people. Makes me feel like someone can relate to me and I can impact them in any simple or complex way they deem fit. I write because I can and I become free with every word written from my mind, every letter and messed up grammar I have accidentally committed to butchering every time I write. I may not make a difference, heck, I may not even have a lot of people who read but those who do read when I write about how I thought up a story plot or something for my best friend, they will always make me feel like I'm making the difference because someone actually read what I thought at a certain time and day and maybe even listened. That's what makes me feel wanted and happy like I can do something other than run my stubborn mouth and have a mother hen personality. That is what will continue as I write. fortunately, the thing is no one can take it away either, and that my readers are what makes the mind a great thing.