Misanthropy

I don't know what I did to deserve all this. I don't know why the world was so against me. Why is it just me against the world?

Sitting in the office of his therapist, a 16-year-old boy named Cessair Egnatius has been hit with the question he hasn't heard in a while - "When was the last time you felt happy?". Cessair recounts his time growing up, not one memory sparked the warmth this therapist keeps going on about.
Not one memory Cessair could scrape up couldn't spark anything. No smiles, chuckles or even an exhale through his nose. All he felt was nothing. Just a numbing pain in his gut like a hole that's sucking at him like a leach. He felt nothing. It worried him as now a highschool student soon to be in his senior year.
Cessair has never had his first kiss, first romance, or any friends. He was the stereotypical outcasted student who didn't fit in anywhere he read in books or watched in films. He didn't know how to function, how to fit in with others. So, he did what he did best. Watched.
Watched the people around him as he imagined something he's seen in films, the "Teenage Dream" everyone would talk about. The movie-like romance. The emotions he couldn't feel himself. Everything he wanted, everyone else had it but not him.

Why can't he feel anything? Why does it feel like something is missing from him?

This novel will cover extreme topics such as mental health, eating disorders self-harm, child abandonment, harming of other, Transphobia/Homophobia, sexual topics and suicide. Please read this with caution and please reach out for help. There will be warnings in the chapters that contain such content.