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Her Decision

Her Decision

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WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Wed, Mar 22, 2023
Why I am still living in this cold cruel world? Why can I stop believing myself that they can also love me back? Why I still never give up on everything if I'm always hoping that EVEN 1 person in my family can truly accept me? Why do they always care and love my siblings except me? Why they always pretend in front of other people that they love? Why and just why! I'm going crazy just because of thinking everything. They always told everyone that there is no favoritism but what I experience is not. I'm alone, shivering, I need some love and care but what they give is hate, criticism, and the cold shoulder I tried to kill myself many times just to end this suffering but I stop halfway because I realise that I have so many dreams that hasn't been fulfilled and once I fulfill everything I should decide whether I should kill myself or keep living in this cold cruel world I'm Abi A. Dizon and this is my story.
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

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