Surviving Suicide Loss
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Surviving Suicide Loss is about my own grieving process. I was 16 years old when I lost my bestfriend/classmate to Suicide February of 2020. I fell into a deep depression that I didn't know how to get out of. That fall my family and I moved across country which tore me apart. I then found a Suicide Loss Support Group on Facebook led by Ashley Anderson. After I was apart of the Facebook group I got so much support from everyone in the group including Ashley. The first year was since my best friends Suicide was rough I was falling apart, I didn't want to talk to anyone besides the people in the Facebook group. I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone besides Ashley. The second year was the same. The third year wasn't like the first or second years.
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
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