LOVE IN THE DARK

I do everything for myself, i am suffering now from the agony and pain i feel. The crime i committed is unforgivable, I Madel, doing this for the sake of my long lost self. I suffer from starvation for the sake of myself, suffering from the hands of the unfortunate couple. I saw them in my dreams and in my visions, but i'm not sure if it's true, help me for my conclusions!

I'm broken beyond repair and yet... I still wish for someone to save the last pieces of me before I completely die away. I only have one wish... And that is for someone to see past the smiling facade... For someone to see through my bright smile... I want someone who will ask me even just for once... If I was alright... If I was okay... But no... Everyone sees no one else but the happy me. Even jealous of how much I was enjoying life... How mistaken they all are...

I was caught in a lie I never expected a happy life I have this power to be able to take over the human kind I have to control it to save others from this misery But how can do that if I was left and hurt I trusted at first but ended up broke How can I live... If the only thing to make me live is something I can't imagine happening to me..a person who was broken because of this damned thing called love?

Sometimes I wish I knew what it felt like to be someone else, anyone other than me, really. It's not that I dislike who I am(I do sometimes), or even that I'm lost. It's more like... I'm curious. Curious about the weight of other people's thoughts. The texture of their fears. The shape of their joy. None of us walk the same path, even if the streets overlap. None of us carry the same sky, even when we stand under the same stars. I often wonder, can eyes that have seen different corners of the world ever truly see the same world? Two people, standing side by side, might witness the same event. But they won't feel the same chill in the air. They won't flinch at the same memories. They won't hear the silence in the same way. So maybe we don't live in one world at all. Maybe we live in billions. Each one stitched together by memory, perception, pain, and hope. But maybe we can get close. Maybe, with enough honesty and enough patience, we can build bridges. Quiet little bridges made of words and glances and shared stillness. Maybe we can stretch ourselves across the gap. And maybe, just maybe, if you're willing to meet me there... I can show you what it's like to be me. So come. Walk a little with me. Let me try to emulate this strange maze of thoughts, this ever-shifting fog I call a mind. Let me turn myself inside out for you, just for a moment. The name's Blank. And I welcome you to the world through my eyes, my imaginary audience, watchful, patient, and perhaps just as lost as I am. Together, we might not find all the answers. But maybe, if we're lucky, we'll find the right questions.

I try to be a good boy, but it seems I'm as worthless as a rock. I try to help, but I lose my mind and freak out. I have trust issues and a horrible past, luckily the boy next door was there to help me. I REMADE THIS BOOK. PLEASE GO READ THAT VERSION...IT'S A LITTLE BETTER. I will keep this version up just because I know I worked hard on it and it'd be rude to my younger self to delete it...but I highly recommend the newer one.

Unable to age, unable to die. So many people want me, but they can't have me. They want to experiment on me and use my blood to make more people like me. They want an army, an army that will take over humanity. An army that will end the world. I am a fighter, I work alone. But I have more problems then just them chasing me to worry about. I'm looking for something, wanting to be someone else, I'm hunting for my freedom. I don't want this, I don't want this life. This live and never die or age crap, I'm done with it. I can never love a man because we won't die old together, I want freedom from this. I walk around everyday seeing families, happy and smiling; it kills me inside. I want that, but I can't have that. I can't have that because of this curse, because of this group of people trying to catch me, use me. I may be human but we all know I'm beyond important. Others think it's incredible! I hate it, I want out, I want to be free.. But can I ever truly be?

I remember when this all began. I was only 12, innocent and unscarred. In these last moments, my life flashes before my eyes. The horror begins again.

I have my family but I never felt that I am part of it. I felt that I don't belong and they never even bothered to ask me what I feel. They never care for me, they never love me, also. I was so lost until I became a person who was not me and when I was with someone I never show them my real feelings, but when the time comes and I'm already alone, there's nothing I would do but to cry and ask myself why am I feeling this? Why am I suffering like this, alone. It's never been easy for me, but suddenly I met a man who will let me feel the love I was longing for, the care that I was looking for and I felt it from him and he lightens my world and he helps mo to get up and to be a better version of me.

Things changed. It happened slow....Then, it suddenly picked up. It took on a life of it's own. SHIT! The weaker are on top. They seem to have it all. I have become the last thing, I ever wanted. Nothing should be bought or sold. There should never be a price on existing. I'm way too old for this shit....What ever the hell this is meant to be! Will this work out? Or will I just kill her. But. I like her smile. Maybe....We'll take it from there.

When I think about the past I know that things happen for a reason, but sometimes these thing make you feel alone, worthless, like you are alone even if you are surrounded by people who say they will be there for you no matter what. Then when you reach for them you find that they are too far away to reach out for. You are left alone, stranded, drowning, without anyone wanting to get to you. So you grow used to being alone, not relying on anyone. Then someone comes by that you wish you could trust, but you can't. You hold onto the past and guard yourself when it isn't needed. You become a shadow of your past self. Smiling without feeling it becomes a pattern, soon the people who claim to know you no longer tell the difference between the mask and the true broken self. So when they try to get to you, they fail, unable to understand why, they leave. Saying that you are acting funny, not yourself. If only they knew the self that they see now is the broken part that remains left. That's who I am now. A shadow of who I used to be.