Commute - OnTrashMostOf - Wattpad

Story cover for Commute by OnTrashMostOf

Commute

Reads 68
Votes 0
Parts 1
Time 11 minutes

Reads 68
Votes 0
Parts 1
Time 11 minutes

commute feedbackplease life new new-york nonfiction nyc original shortstory york

A short story I wrote as part of a transfer application into the Tisch School of the Arts. It's something I wrote a while ago and now that it's time for submission, I'm not sure how good it is anymore. 

It's "no more than six pages of creative writing consisting of a complete short story". That's the prompt. Plenty to go on, right?

UPDATE: I was accepted! Thank you to everyone who read and critiqued it!All Rights Reserved

commute feedbackplease life new new-york nonfiction nyc original shortstory york

Table of contents

Commute
Sat, Feb 28, 2015

1 part

Commute
Sat, Feb 28, 2015

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𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ by ashluvfictionalmen

Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in. When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light creeps in through the cracks, and for or a moment, the tunnel seems to have a way out, but what if it collapses before they make it? - "You saved my life." The words come out as a whisper, I've been dying to say that. I thank god every day that he came into my life when he did. "Fuck Vivian, you don't know how much I needed you." I tear up just a little as he speaks, I don't know the last time I cried happy tears. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, resting my forehead against his. "No matter how much I push, I don't mean it. Please don't give up on me." My words seem to relieve him in some way as I feel his shoulders relax. "Even when I'm gone, I'll be by your side, forever." He brings his hand, sticking his pinky out. "pinky promise."I wrap mine around his, placing a kiss on his lips. Warning before you read!! This is my first book! This book will contain topics of SA, eating disorders, and mature content, if any of these things may bother you in anyway, please scroll! I hope when I finish this book I can public a clean version, with a different perspective leaving out these topics, but for now, this is how i've envisioned this story to go! Enjoy -Ash🌸

Poems and Others by hickchick218

These are poems, short stories and essay's I've written for my online poetry class and creative writing online class. I'm also going to post the stories I write when I take a Horror writing class so I hope you guys enjoy! Give feedback if you would like, if not that's cool. Maybe show some support? :) Thanks! ~Kaylee Nicole Landis~

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A bunch of short stories I wrote for my creative writing class. 😁

A Baker's Dozen of Christmas What-Ifs by Picturina

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Finally Free by lulustoriesss

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I Wanna Be Yours (John Price X Reader) by Octernity

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The Danger In Colors by kyleighhaughton

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Slide 1 of 9

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ cover

Poems and Others cover

Short Stories cover

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Finally Free cover

Creative Writing: Stories & Poems cover

I Wanna Be Yours (John Price X Reader) cover

📚shiddat:-ishq aur nafrat ki cover

The Danger In Colors cover

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+

Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in. When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light creeps in through the cracks, and for or a moment, the tunnel seems to have a way out, but what if it collapses before they make it? - "You saved my life." The words come out as a whisper, I've been dying to say that. I thank god every day that he came into my life when he did. "Fuck Vivian, you don't know how much I needed you." I tear up just a little as he speaks, I don't know the last time I cried happy tears. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, resting my forehead against his. "No matter how much I push, I don't mean it. Please don't give up on me." My words seem to relieve him in some way as I feel his shoulders relax. "Even when I'm gone, I'll be by your side, forever." He brings his hand, sticking his pinky out. "pinky promise."I wrap mine around his, placing a kiss on his lips. Warning before you read!! This is my first book! This book will contain topics of SA, eating disorders, and mature content, if any of these things may bother you in anyway, please scroll! I hope when I finish this book I can public a clean version, with a different perspective leaving out these topics, but for now, this is how i've envisioned this story to go! Enjoy -Ash🌸