THE MANY FACES OF BETRAYAL

Their improbity, the disloyalty, this pain I carry which burdens me - I've opened my eyes to see that they are not of light. They are the darkness, and it still haunts me.

This is a compilation of poems about my most recent battles of love, loss, confusion, rage, and self-destruction due to the constant endurance of back-to-back neglect, the abuse, and the betrayal that I've been tormented by for months on end now.

I've tortured myself with the memories that remind me of the fake love and false intentions that everyone I've ever known or trusted has ended up proving they were moving in/with. There's nothing I've ever experienced before like the way it feels to live with so many different feelings that are conflicting, within your ONE body all at once. The confusion, hurt, disbelief, shock, anger, grief, the forgiveness, care, tenderness, the regret, shame, guilt, affection, worry/concern for them - the LOVE - a mixture of both love and hatred causes a deeply internalized sense of disorder. The confusion causes panic, then as it grows into a hysteria, you'll become manic.

The presence of multiple negative emotions at once is chaos.
The presence of love without the absence of hatred is what has driven me to insanity.