Nottoofar || Book 1: Leaf & Paw {Humour + Romance Fantasy} - Katya Kolmakov - Wattpad

Story cover for Nottoofar || Book 1: Leaf & Paw {Humour + Romance Fantasy} by kkolmakov

Nottoofar || Book 1: Leaf & Paw {Humour + Romance Fantasy}

Reads 5,886
Votes 577
Parts 16
Time 2h 16m

Reads 5,886
Votes 577
Parts 16
Time 2h 16m

adventure berserker chicklit comedy comedy-romance crack druid fantasy fantasytropes funny humor interspecies knight orc paladin parody romance romantasy rpg veteran werebear

Fiona is a Beastfolk druid fleeing her abusive master in hopes to reach the border with the Northern lands, where she could find a mage to free her of her slave seal, which gives her owner full control over her life and death. In the woods she's attacked by bandits - and saved by a bear. She's quite sure that her magic wouldn't have been powerful enough to establish such a strong bond with a wild animal - and doesn't the bear seem a tad too intelligent?


In a far, far away land of Nottoofar...
~ a former berserker knight meets a spacy druid... {Book 1: Leaf & Paw} ~COMPLETE!
~ a necromancer rogue is determined to resist her feelings for her former paramour, despite his delicious Half-Orc physique... {Book 2: Dagger & Fist}  ~COMPLETE!
~ a teacher of defence magic can't believe what has become of her former Buggbear pupil - and how hard it seems to convince herself to refuse his advances... {Book 3: Ring & Shield} ~COMING SOON!
~ a duke is stuck in a cave with a dragonkeeper who is harbouring a secret... {Series Prequel: Venom & Sword} ~COMING SOON!
~ a merperson needs the assistance of  a kicka*** sea captain who isn't going to fall for the tailed man under any circumstances... {Book 4: Cutlass & Song} ~Final story in the series! COMING SOON!
...and the rest of my recurring characters show up in this fantasy tale - but this time they wield magic, throw daggers, have tails and horns; and Rhys has got green skin.

You really don't have to read my other stories to understand what's going on here. But if you're familiar with their modern version, I hope these frolicsome AUs elicit a chuckle and an 'awww,' or two.All Rights Reserved

adventure berserker chicklit comedy comedy-romance crack druid fantasy fantasytropes funny humor interspecies knight orc paladin parody romance romantasy rpg veteran werebear

Series

Nottoofar || Romantasy Fleckney

Season 1
16 parts
Season 2
24 parts
Season 3
2 parts

Table of contents

16 parts

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A Time Traveling Fairytale by ElsaS7

Fate leads those who are willing but must push those who are not. One might interpret this saying a bit too literal. After all, Elena did end up on the bottom of a hill in the middle of a forest, suffering several injuries. But do not worry, fate loves a rebel and has something magical stored for our sarcastic heroine. Time travel. An adventure in the 16th century was not something our main character had in mind, but when her path is built with music and joy, it can't be that bad, right? Oh, who am I kidding. . . At first glance, it seemed to be the perfect fairytale for our main character; being able to experience the medieval time and be surrounded by enchantment wherever she went. She even meets a monk, blessed with the gift of music, who shares her passion and is willing to teach Elena the secrets of the piano. It's perfect. But it was only the tip of the iceberg. Elena's piece of tranquility is broken when she stumbles into another mess, leaving her caged and alone in the forest. Fortunately for our heroine, a prince crosses her path, helping her in her need. One might see this as the Universe's way for entertainment, or the fate's bizarre tactics to bring people together. Whatever it might be, it did not stop Elena from catching the eye of the prince of a powerful kingdom. Before anyone knows what's even happening, they're caught in the middle of it all; like a cat trapped in a yarn. After all, even the stone you trip on is a part of your destiny. What happens when the Universe, and basically everything between hell and heaven, is against you? Simple: it's a journey filled with unforgettable events. So buckle up, folks, because you are in for a ride of pirates, songs, chases, jokes, and a broken soul. After all, there is no flying from fate.

Another Stupid Spell by billricardi

Another Stupid Spell is a first person high fantasy novel, the likes of which hasn't been seen in 60 years. The tone and vocabulary of the story shifts as our narrator, Sorch the orc, finds ways to enhance his intelligence. You get to grow as Sorch grows, learn as he learns, and share his most intimate thoughts. Sorch is an orc mage in a world where orcs are cursed with stupidity every time they cast a spell. The only spell he can safely cast is Enhance Intelligence, which boosts his IQ for a fraction of a second before the curse drains it all away again. Normally casting such a spell would be pointless, but Sorch's tribe has found a way to benefit. Magic that is cast near a mysterious artefact called the 'Voodoo Engine' causes invisible hands to appear, and these hands get work done for his tribe. Sorch is a slave to the Voodoo Engine, casting a single spell over and over again to avoid being beaten by the chief's warrior caste. While foraging for food on one fateful night, our hero happens upon two human mages who are in big trouble. He saves their lives, and in return they give him an amulet that will make his life easier. Unbeknownst to the humans, their gift grants Sorch the power to break the cycle of intelligence drain and physical abuse. With the help of his friend and mentor, Shaman, Sorch becomes a real mage. Sorch leaves his swamp and embarks on a series of incredibly exciting and dangerous adventures. During his travels he encounters horrible injury, magical treasures, love, snow, university admissions tests, a plot against the Kingdom, and then of course he saves the world. Or does he? Be prepared to rethink everything you know about thinking. If your own intelligence was the fuel that your magic ran on, how brightly would you dare to burn?

The Bind by MaierCowan

I may have been an owl, but my heart was a hummingbird, and it's wings beat frantically against the cage of my ribs as the forest disappeared beneath snowy wings. Dry updrafts carrying burned out leaves, shriveled by the first heatwave of the year, did not help with the comparison my mind was drawing with the sinking feeling of descending into hell. "Becky I don't know if I can do this." I linked the alpha wolf guiding me through the maelstrom of introducing myself to my pack. My pack? I was still wrapping my head around being a wolf, let alone being in possession of over a hundred of them. "Sure you can. You claimed them. Given their recent history, without your new leadership their pack will be decimated by the Elders." She didn't like them. I didn't like them. They didn't like me. They were dousing the back of my mind with death threats. What could go wrong? ... The Bind is the third novella revolving around Claire Menzies journey into a violent, seductive shadow world. A world where were creatures live alongside normies, and are governed by animal instinct and mystery.

Deadly Mate - The mate finding spell business book 2 ✔ by AlexaRD5

Kojo is a hundred and forty-seven years old polar bear who, after attending his cousin's wedding, decided to give his aunt's spell a try to find his mate. He didn't have many expectations, but surprisingly fate delivered him a mate beyond his wildest ideas. Iná was an almost five hundred years old witch who stopped in time, living in her dead tribe's land, isolated from the modern world and still practicing most of her tribe's old traditions, when a massive beast of a man with a white spot of hair interrupts her peace and breaks through her barrier, invading her territory. Iná held deeply hidden secrets within herself, some that turned her deadly, though the truth was that she was cursed. Her deeply rooted fear of men led her to use black magic as a protective mechanism due to all she suffered at the hands of the white men. But what will happen when her deadly curse gets in the way and she has no way of lifting it? What will Iná do when she falls in love with Kojo and realizes that she will never be able to kiss Kojo without killing him? And when trouble knocks on Kojo's family's door? Will their bond be strong enough for them to be capable of standing tall against the enemy while standing beside Dima and Oksana? Only time can tell. Join those two on their adventure, and find out what happens next in, The mate finding spell business series. - To what some were imperfections, to Kojo, they were the utmost perfection, and what used to be a mere myth to Iná became reality when a man sent by the gods showed her that the human/shifter male kind could also be civilized and caring. -

Not My King (BxB) by DarkSparx

Drug dealing unicorns, gnome hookers, and a hot guy named 'Turnip'. These are just a few of the strange things that Rem encounters after getting kidnapped by a talking marble. -------------------------------------------- Rem is, for the most part, motivationally challenged. Then one day, he's whisked off to a high-fantasy world with the sole purpose of delivering a powerful artifact to the king. The problem? He absolutely HATES fantasy settings. So when he learns the king is in hiding, he's not too happy that his little isekai adventure has been extended. Things only get more interesting when he learns he's been cursed too. -------------------------------------------- King Zephyre has been forced into hiding after his father is murdered. Crime starts running rampant in the kingdom, and he grows desperate to help his people. Luckily there's a vigilante causing a stir, so he decides to tag along in secret. This is a high-fantasy, slow burn, drama-comedy with an MC who uses dark humor a lot. Read with caution. #1 in DND on 2/7/2025

Challenged - Skinwalker Book 2 by KaraOdine1

Exert: Little electric tingles raced through her fingers deep into her body where an increasingly familiar ping began to ricochet through her muscle fibres. She glanced at Adam with surprise as he collapsed unwillingly to his knees on the floor next to her. His eyes shone with irritation and apprehension as the first wave of his transformation overtook him and his body began to twist and lurch unpleasantly. Sierra bit back the pain as her own body began to do the same. The clothes ripped from her skin as her body grew and changed inside of them. Faintness started to threaten and she fought it back as long as she could to get her first glimpse of what she was becoming: she looked over to Adam to see a beautiful white tiger struggling on the floor in his place, the poor creature appearing dazed and unsteady, struggling to find its feet after the physical onslaught that had been thrust upon it. Sierra smiled to herself and let the darkness consume her, content with the knowledge that she'd just transformed into the same thing. "Well shit, that's different..." Adele remarked at length, effectively breaking the silence. --------------- A new job is usually a lot to deal with. When you add a new country and a newly discovered secret identity in the mix, it's more than just a lot! When Sierra arrives in Luxembourg, she has no clue what to expect or how to deal with everything, but she does know that she wants answers. The problem is, sometimes the search for answers only leads to more questions. 'Challenged' is the second book in the Skinwalker Series and it is still being fine-tuned. I'd love to hear your views and opinions on my sequel. I'd also be pretty interested to hear some ideas I can maybe add to my rough plot as I go. It's going to be a bumpy ride, but there should be some fun, embarrassing and action-packed times along the way!

The Archivist's All-knowing Almanac by JanGoesWriting

There's nothing more dangerous than a book, especially in the wrong hands. And, in this world of magic, wars and an alarming number of self-serving, gratuitously selfish people, there are a lot of wrong hands to take advantage. When the world's foremost mage, Anpound Pudbatter (fresh from a magical accident that had turned him back into a teenager with all the associated raging hormones) meets Gammer Goodhiding, the world's most polite, yet indefinably terrifying witch, and Bindi, a Druid who almost has a filthy mouth, they come together to search for an object that could very well spell the end of the world as they know it. Or change it in ways they cannot imagine. From the intermittently high Mount Pintel, to the vast, unending Library, to the indeterminately located city of Lost Vagueness, where hope, and Coin, go to wallow in despair, to the world's most important, prominent, and tiniest city, the three of them must follow the magical chaos wrought by the presence of the book. And with warlords bent on conquest, thieves out for a quick score and a djinn with a mischievous attention to detail in the way, things may not go quite according to plan. And what, exactly, is the origin of the book? Only The Archivist's All-knowing Almanac knows for sure. A love-letter to the works of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. [Cover created in Canva, using an AI generated image from a stock clip art and text from Logokit]

The Good Ones by DeeDeeMansfield

Young veterinarian, Mavis Rogers, has two goals for her new career- don't kill anything and don't reveal to her mentor that she can talk to animals. Because the universe has a twisted sense of humor, she accidentally kills her first patient and discovers that her hard-ass, temperamental mentor, Alex Dodd, can also talk to animals. He introduces Mavis to Aurora, a secret organization of elves who report to Nicholas at the North Pole (yes, that Nicholas). They're humans with the genetic ability to use magic and are duty-bound to protect unsuspecting non-elven humans from rogues. Forced into serving Aurora, Mavis is thrown into a war against an army of rogues led by ex-Aurora elf, Beau Tanner. Mavis learns that she alone possesses the magic powerful enough to stop Beau, but lacks the confidence to use it. If only her mentor wasn't such an asshole. Lucinda Morales is a Type A Adderall addict who takes offense at being given orders. Her parents ordered her to use her degree in chemistry to become a medical doctor, so she became a wildlife biologist instead. When she discovers that her new job with playboy nature documentary host, Kevin King, is a ruse to lock her into Aurora's servitude, she carves a path that none of her teammates anticipate. What Lucinda lacks in power, she makes up for with her intelligence and tenacity, and there are no limits to how far she will go to obtain that power. If only her mentor paid attention. Animals call Aurora elves the Good Ones, but how can battle lines be drawn when "good" is open for interpretation?

Loving Miss Love (GxG) by OrMAGMs

(TeacherxStudent)"I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't find you attractive." "But you said you only were with him because he begged you and if he can't woo you then I-" I couldn't hear this anymore. I looked at her and flat out said, "I'm going to fuck you too." She turned bright red, "I will sleep with you. My body has already chosen you Tyler, it's my mind that it's waiting on. You don't have to worry about not being good enough when I chose you." She was quietly blushing in the corner. And she stayed over there until it was time for class. |~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~| Danielle Love, 28, single and planning to be for the rest of her life. After many failed relationships Danielle has found herself at a stand still, thinking of Love as something unattainable. With a crazy ex watching her every move and her future becoming more lonely, she is in for a ride upon meeting her new student Tyler Allen, 23, broken and abandoned. Tyler has dreamt of falling in love her entire life but due to her lack of social skills, she has already given up. With the recent tragic passing of her parents, Tyler must move to the States and finish college while living with her aunt. Her life is completely flipped when she meets her new, young, hot, English professor.

Silver Blades: Prize Fight by Marc_Morrell

After a century of contending with Pertuli's dogged silence, Riposte Clasicant has at last won the only clue in a mystery that weighs heavily on his heart. Will his satisfaction survive a lethal encounter with a mysterious woman from his past? In Silver Blades novellas, we follow the adventures of Rip Clasicant, who for reasons of his own has neglected both duty and honor in recent decades. His debauchery rubs his peers the wrong way, and often they seek restitution in blood. Only superior skill with a blade has kept him alive thus far. Pertuli, his sarcastic but well-meaning sidekick, has doubts about the direction his friend's fortune is taking. Silver Blades: Prize Fight is a stand-alone story which takes place after the events in Silver Blades: A Duel Nature. --------------- "Full of action, adventure, witty puns and memorable characters. Loved this so much!" - @TheTickTockAwards --------------- "YES!!!! ANOTHER RIP AND PERTULI STORY!" - @VKBloodgood --------------- "Not to sound like a sycophant, but this was fracking awesome." - @KellyJBurke --------------- "I really, really love Ivy. She's my favorite female character..." - @Readmyvoice --------------- "Pertuli is amazing. His sarcasm and puns are just fantastic!" - @EmiliaGlasse --------------- "Nicely written again -I'm amazed by how well you pen these words!" - @Kotkoda --------------- "Your writing is amazing, my only complaint is that there isn't more of it." - Seth B. --------------- "This was a fantastic book. I can't emphasize that enough. Masterfully woven." - @avadel ---------------

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Slide 1 of 10

A Time Traveling Fairytale cover

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A Time Traveling Fairytale

Fate leads those who are willing but must push those who are not. One might interpret this saying a bit too literal. After all, Elena did end up on the bottom of a hill in the middle of a forest, suffering several injuries. But do not worry, fate loves a rebel and has something magical stored for our sarcastic heroine. Time travel. An adventure in the 16th century was not something our main character had in mind, but when her path is built with music and joy, it can't be that bad, right? Oh, who am I kidding. . . At first glance, it seemed to be the perfect fairytale for our main character; being able to experience the medieval time and be surrounded by enchantment wherever she went. She even meets a monk, blessed with the gift of music, who shares her passion and is willing to teach Elena the secrets of the piano. It's perfect. But it was only the tip of the iceberg. Elena's piece of tranquility is broken when she stumbles into another mess, leaving her caged and alone in the forest. Fortunately for our heroine, a prince crosses her path, helping her in her need. One might see this as the Universe's way for entertainment, or the fate's bizarre tactics to bring people together. Whatever it might be, it did not stop Elena from catching the eye of the prince of a powerful kingdom. Before anyone knows what's even happening, they're caught in the middle of it all; like a cat trapped in a yarn. After all, even the stone you trip on is a part of your destiny. What happens when the Universe, and basically everything between hell and heaven, is against you? Simple: it's a journey filled with unforgettable events. So buckle up, folks, because you are in for a ride of pirates, songs, chases, jokes, and a broken soul. After all, there is no flying from fate.