Queen of frowns

Part of me wants to inflect my hypothalamus with a drug that would run into my vein and control my reflexes to find way to put my mouth a smile.
Maybe if I was little normal I could be a little happy, but I was born with this unbearable pain that prohibited me to feel any joy.
It's never my choice to be sad, but fate chooses me to live in a miserable life.
Have you been sad?
It is not like being upset when things get wrong. It is the pain that we feel once we are alone or when we face ourselves in the mirror.
It is the sadness that will weaken your body and drain your brain: the misery which we could not explain where it originated nor comprehend why it hurt us.
Nobody can ever understand how it is to feel the sadness that I had. No one can describe how I live my life.
And why I become the queen of frowns.