THIS IS A BxB BOOK ,don't like it don't read it My mother once told me that as the oldest, it was my job to look out for the others. Be the person they could depend on. Show them how to navigate life so it would be a little easier for them. But the only way I could do that was to turn all the pain I felt off, and let the rage simmering deep down in my soul rise to the surface. My mother and little brother weren't coming back...no matter how many tears we shed or how often we begged God to undo the unthinkable. God stopped listening a long time ago. My father checked out the moment his wife took her last breath. I was all they had left. Which meant there was no longer room in my heart for sorrow or grief. Those emotions were wasted on the dead...I had to take care of the living. Anger was a far superior driving force.